General Chat

Thanks Carole, actually I am doing quite well, all things considered.
Feeling rotten physically with a cold & cough but this too will pass.
I'm finding my old self appearing again, in patches. Today I came home with a huge pile of tomatoes, (a bushel - I already had a 1/2 bushel given to me a few days ago) and red, green & yellow peppers, ready to make chili sauce.
Tomorrow I'll make a variation with added peaches and pears and red pappers.
Today's batch is all chopped and ready to add the sugar (actually Xylitol),spices and vinegar after 2 little people have settled. the house smells like it used to,in the old days, when I was a young 'mother earth', and did everything from scratch to save money and to avoid food colouring and additives for my kids. Now we add the gluten-free, dairy free and cane sugar free and things are more complex. for some reason, I find myself motivated to try and recreate recipes with adaptations. Made 2 huge pizza pies last evening and every bit of the crust was appreciated. never had such success, now to remember how I did it!!!
Been so down all summer (thanks to the drug mixup I think), it's nice to feel better. Seize the moment.

sending group hugs all round,
Liz,I'm throwing papers again, how are you doing?
Thinking of you all and thanks for keeping me in mind when I am AWOL.
love
Mary

Hi all, have to go to bed early as have to be at my old school at 11.15 am -omg will I make it? Lots of ex pupils from those first years being shown round school so look forward to seeing folk I know.
50th anniversary of school being built and open and I started there then, so big reunion on Saturday too - will see more old pals and some teachers too, most of whom are in their late 70s/early 80s.


Mary, sorted out a few things but not doing very well at the mo, will mail you soon. Well done for sorting yours out.
xx

Carole, mixture of might come in handy, sentimental, valuable? i.e. could make some much needed money from (actually my son is about to put something on ebay we found in a box I had stored at his - one the same recently sold for £25 and it was a gift given to him when he was younger and he does need some money desperately so told him to sell it). I also have this need to look thru old newspapers and cut out things that interest me, etc most of which are never read again but stuffed in carrier bags, all part of the ocd. Working on it tho so hope to make some progress next week when o.h. is at work on lates, cos I can sit and look through things when he isn't around - if I do it when he is here he comments all the time.

Catch you all later, must get to bed for my early start lol
love and hugs to you all,
Lizxxxx

Hi Thomas and welcome to out thread, it is very good to see you here.

It is at times difficult to come to terms with, depression and anxiety, we are all here for you and each other.

You can PM any of us any time, you are not alone in this as you can see by the massive support we give each other. It helps no end to know you are not alone.

Hugs

Gail

GoodMorning All
wel Jan my hubby has just phone he cant get time of to take me the hospital on monday,so i told him him i was ging to cancel it,but he said no he,ll drop me off and then ring when im ready but will have to wait till he finishes work at 4.45 and then takes 30 mins to get to me,i have put thread up on general ,would like so if anyone wants to have alook its there,and now the ball is starting to roll
hope your all well
Y/Caz hope you get rid of the pain in your thigh not very nice for you ,take care
Thomas welcome to the thread im new on here as well,but there aloverly bunch of caring people
Deanna nice to see you back
Dutchxx
Dutchxx

Hello Thomas as I said in pm please come and talk to us by pm or thread. Very understanding people here and not always talking about illness. x

Mary you have been doing so well. You are going to get a gold star from us all for being super gran, super cook, super nurse, and super thrower outer. I'm so glad you found your mistake with the tablets and are not suffering from any horrible illness like you thought xx MMMMmmmmm whats that lovely smell coming from this thread???

Liz I imagine your savings of papers and things is like someone saying to me to throw away all my photos. How on earth do you separate ones to keep and the ones to throw away. Hope you have a lovely time at your old school xx

Deanna it's great to have you back. We missed you
so much. Come here you little devil lets hug ((((xx))))

Betty I saw the thank you, you got on the succsess board. Did you see it? You must have been very busy. Gold star for you too for services to people on GR xxx

Claire pleased the job is going well. xx

Kathy sorry to hear J didn't take his exams. You must feel more upset that he didn't tell the truth straight away though. It's not the end of the world.
Hope he can retake the year or find a job. xx

Joyce I'll look for your post. You just take care xx

Last night I drove to Colwick with my friend and we had a lovely carvery. I called a taxi to take us into Nottingham. The show, Spirit of the dance was good but I really do prefer the ballet. There was no story
to follow with last nights show, so I found it strange.
Tha costumes were nice but not a patch on the ones in ballet. My daughter met us after the show and drove us back to my car. I just would never have done that on my own as it were, a few months ago. So another box ticked for me.

Love to you all as always xxx

Carole, I cannot believe you are going out, what a milestone for you. I know how difficult it is to get out and about. After seeing what you have been doing I have asked OH to take me away shopping tomorrow. I never ever ask to do this, usually wait for him to say we need to do a shop.

And yes, I have my lists. Drive myself nuts with them at times. By you posting your efforts to get out has helped me to want to go somewhere and do something about it, instead of just sitting here and thinking about it.

I have had difficulty driving our car, mainly because I cannot see clearly out the back. So, I asked OH if I could get a reversing camera and I got it and have it installed now, it is so clear, and easy to see if anything is behind the car now. I have a little confidence back as well while driving. I had this terrible that I would back over a child or someone while backing the car up. Made such a difference.

I see Deanna has her computer back, so hopefully we will see more of her.

I can understand Liz's problem with OCD, I have some hoarding tendencies, but they are over shadowed by my neat freek part. I realised today that in the last week I have gone through 500g of liquid soap. I was wondering why my hands were so sore, now I realise what I am doing have managed to pull back over the last couple of days and only wash when necessary. Have had to use lots of hand cream to try and get moisture back in the poor old things. Have not done that for years. Stress does not help.

Hope you are all well, I can smell Mary's cooking from here.

Gail

Gail I'm touched that my going out is encouraging you to try to go out. I reversed over a kids bike not long after I passed my test ummpt years ago. I shook for hours. Darn't drive again for days.

I didn't used to be able to go grocery shopping alone last year. Oh went with me, while I trailed behind him like a zombie. Now after a lot of determination
I go alone. The panic I felt at first slowly elapsed. It wasn't easy but I wanted to be able to get on with life. All I could think about was going to the loo. Started by just going in and grabbing a bottle of milk or something! Pay and out. Then making my self stay longer.

I also had the clean thingy. Couldn't touch hand rails
in public places. Dogs, or drink from other peoples cups and so on. Slowly said to myself these things will not kill me, and tried to touch without washing my hands afterwards. Not too bad now. Don't think about it any where near as much. Even stroke a dog and then eat without washing first if really need to.

You can do it too Gail. I look forward to a full report of your trip tomorrow. You don't need good luck, but it's here just to help you a bit xxx Good luck xxx

Good afternoon all

I hope your day has been pleasant so far

free of pain and plenty of confidence

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) to all

I am still down at the moment can't see me getting on with life for a while yet.

Take care

Gill

Just checking in to say hello, have read all the posts but wont do individual replies except to say glad Deanna has her PC back.

Ann
Glos in Tenerife

Hi, Im Dawn, just found this page, looks like you all support each other through depression etc, Ive suffered since I was 12 but remember since childhood being always unhappy, now at 51 I have actualy felt better than I have in my whole life, dont know why, had agrophobia you name it for last 20 years, last night I went to meet an old school friend who I havnt seen for 30 plus years, cant believe I actualy went alone, was great, was so nervously exhausted and disorientated by the time I got in but it was worth it, Im already being hit with SAD and all that goes with it so for next 5 or 6 months prob wont communicate with anyone, I never go out, I avoid people even the phone I dont answer and I absolutely panic if anyone comes to the door so last night was a triumph, now I have a problem in mentioning to my friend about how depression affects me as I dont want sympathy but I dont want her to think Im strange, lets say, I dont know whether to keep on seeing her, (I would love too) but knowing me when I get in a state and cant go out I will have to cancel and as I know from the past I will have to keep canceling going out, just like I do with say Doctors appointments etc, I dont want her to think Im unreliable etc but I dont want to have to go into great explanations about how I cant get out, in the past Ive made excuses that perhaps something has happened at home and I cant get out as I dont want to explain that its just the way Im feeling, frightened to go out, I suppose I dont want to be seen as a loser or awkward, people seem to have this idea that Im so able and so strong to do anything but they dont know the real me, I suppose what Im saying is I wont let anyone into my life as Im so up and down I dont want to let anyone down, can anyone make head or tale what im on about, Ive lived in this house for 12 years now and apart from the landlady once or twice coming in no one has been in this house, sorry apart from my son whos been here a handful of times, he lives away and is a work a holic and got his own life, I dont worry him, he thinks Im fine as I dont tell him any different, even the electric metre reading I do myself etc as I just completely panic about being around people, I live like a recluse a hermit, strangely enough I suppose Im so used to being like this that at times Im content, Ive got my collie and my cat and my garden and I live in the middle of know where and apart from the postie I hardly ever see a soul, Ive recently started getting my groceries on line to save going out, anything I need I order now, that was a trial in its self the delivery man, I decided Id rather face one delivery man than a shop full of people, life goes on, recently Ive been ill with other stuff and spent the last couple of weeks going for all sorts of tests, in the past I wouldnt have gone just ignored my health but because my depression seemed (lighter lets say) and I wanted to be around to look after my animals I decided to go for all these tests, still waiting on the out come, Ive been suicidal on a few occasions over the years, the last time when my dog died in Jan 07, had it all planned until out of the blue a collie pup came into my life, lets say I rescued it and fell in love and she saved my life, so here I am writing this to I dont know who as its the first time Ive found an avenue to talk to others in the same boat, sorry for going on so long, thanks for listening, Dawnx

Hi everyone sending you all lots of love and hugs
Rachxxxx

Hello dear friends
I am still shaking after an experience yesterday, but I managed to get through, because I had all the children with me.
I had picked the 4 of them up from school in my van, Gareth was havng a meltdown in the back seat, and was driving up a (6 lane wide) main road, suddenly, 3 cars ahead of me, there was a huge cloud of dust and a van up on its end then flipped onto the side.
I can feel panic rising as I write this, but yesterday, I had palpitations, started to feel faint, shaking, knew as a nurse I should get out and offer to help, but had the 4 kids with me. I managed to negotiate to the left and took a wide detour, afraid I'd pass out while driving. Drove to a parking lot, turned off the van, opened the windows and sat there till I calmed down.
No small order, I have had so many panic attacks in such occasions, over the years.
When I was having counselling we discovered that it appeared to have started when we were still living in Cardiff, I was probably 5 years old. We were on our way to Amroth for a holiday. There was a very bad accident on the way, and my Dad stopped to offer assistance. We were parked opposite the crash, seemed like forever, and the scene was horrific for a child, I won't give graphic details. I think my Dad was so involved in caring for others, he forgot there were vulnerable children in our boxy 1940's Vauxhall.. After many years of various types of therapy, I can cope much better on the road, can even drive over a high bridge now without stopping, but the sight of an accident still puts me into panic mode. For years I would detour miles out of my way, if I saw flashing lights ahead, now I stay on the road and aim to stay calm, talk to myself.. So there is progress, but that sight yesterday threw me for a loop. I exited not only for myself but so that the children wouldn't see anything gruesome. It was just fortunate that there wasn't a smaller car beside the van, because one would have been crushed if it had been there.
Now I've got myself thoroughly shaky again.
Hugs,
Mary

Came to say goodnight to everyone.
Joyce YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL!

It is a bit bad that they wont give Jan the time off, but you must still go love.

MaxiMary, please send me an e-mail, I need you back on the books.
I haven't had the time to read all the messages, but the ones I have read tell me that there is quite a bit of pain and unhappiness on here today.
Chin up everyone things will get better.
I must start coming on every day again, but it is hard if we don't feel well isn't it?
God Bless and see you all tomorrow.
love Deanna XXX

I have come on the board to say hello and goodnight really. Came back home wednesday evening late, am still trying to catch up-in every way.There are a lot of posts to read, so will do so a.s.a.p.
I just want to wish you all a peaceful night, as painless as possible.

Eileen x

Hi Dawn, read your message just then, was touched by it, know how you are feeling, just keep your chin up, glad you've got your animals to enjoy and keep u company. Take care x Kay

Hi Eileen nice to see you home, see you later xx

Ann hope you are having better weather than us xx

Liz how did your day go? xx

Deanna you go catch up on all your emails xxx

Rach love how are you? How did your mum get on? xx

Gill, been to my parents today. Dad was displeased because I took the wrong bulb for his lamp. Bad girl Carole :o( Hope you had a better day xx



Mary I think you did the right thing. Your kids needed protecting from what could have been upsetting for them. Forget (if you can) what happened or it could send you into a downward
spiral and you are just on your way up. Don't want you meeting yourself now do we? xxx


Dawn sorry I couldn't talk to you more earlier. I didn't have time, and didn't want to rush a message to you, that would not be right. You sound as if you have had a terrible time this last few years. Now you
have been rescued by your precious dog, you need to start looking after yourself better. So I hope you will join us on here. It's easier to talk as there is no
face to face meeting. No going out, but you are starting to talk. I kid you not, before long you will look forward to meeting on here, and seeing what your new friends are doing. You don't have to make any promises to us, but might find you do say you'll
do something you hadn't tried for a very long time. We will all be waiting to hold your hand, sit by your side and help you through. You are not alone anymore if you so choose. Now a year ago I was off work four months sat with the curtains closed, didn't answer the phone or door unless it was someone I trusted. Couldn't have anyone in like work men. Last night I went to the theatre with a friend. :o)) With some hard work and determination maybe some help from your old school friend (and us) you too can improve your life. I'd say tell her your problem. But keep it as simple as you can. Don't go on about it all the time. It could put her off. But don't let it be a secret. Are you on any antidepressants? Ask your doctor if you could see a counsellor. Or you might be able to have home visits. It takes months to get seen so don't think you can't cope, it won't happen straight away. I see a psychologist every two weeks. I start an assertiveness course next week. I never thought I'd look forward to anything like it but I am. You need to set yourself tiny goals and push yourself to carry them through. It's not easy, but it's the only way I'm afraid. Promise, it will get easier but not over night. I'm 49 and thought I'd had depression on and off for the last twenty years. But now I can look back, and I know I had it even at the start of infant school. As a teen I drank myself silly, but that was my way of coping. As a young mum I was frightened of all the things my mum had warned me about and I had the responsibility of keeping my babies safe. I worried about everything until I could no longer control my life or my bowel movements. I was tested for everything. All clear. So off to the psychologist. Now I know why I have all the fears. I'm not cured, but feel a whole lot better and people are telling me how well I look. Do you know what I feel it too. Don't give in Dawn. Let's try to help you please xxx

K, do you need some support too? You are very welcome to join us.xx

Hi Carole Mum got on fine thank you just waiting for the results!
Love and hugs
Rachxx

Hi all, I am so tired!!
I actually managed to get up and get to the school on time, 11.25am, and spent an enjoyable hour with old school friends and some I didn't remember, looking round the school I attended in 1958 when it was brand new. State of the art school before state of the art was a saying lol, apparently at the time it cost £250,000, now similar would cost £250 million!!!
Then I went into the city to our big library/meeting place as there was an exhibition on celebrating the school's 50 years, lots of memorabilia that I recognised and photos etc and again more people to chat to. I spent so long there I managed to miss Teresa, by the time I contacted her to see if she was ready to meet up for coffee, she had given up on me and caught the bus home lol (She was already in the Forum doing some family tree stuff but didn't spot me at the exhibition area.
Got home and had a couple of hour's sleep and o.h. cooked dinner - wow! Now I have the big reunion to look forward to this Saturday afternoon, a friend is picking me up so I don't have to drive, and I know there will be lots of my old school pals there too, so should be fun.
Will have to go to bed earlier again tonight so I don't nod off at the 'do'!
Welcome to all our newcomers, and hope you will gain benefit from this thread as so many have and as I do. There is always someone to give words of support and encouragement, and to show you your life is worthwhile and you have friends.
Mary, so glad you got through this latest situation ok, and hope whoever was in the accident got out of it without too much injury. You take care of yourself, hope work isn't too hard this weekend, it's come round quickly, hasn't it?
Love and hugs to all my friends here, and the new folk too.

Lizxx

Thank you so much Carole and K and others for replying to my ramblings earlier on, cant believe Im doing this at this time of night but I hardly ever sleep when its dark, always been afraid of the dark, however just passed the computer and thought Id tune in never realy expecting a reply but here we are, thank you so much, already I dont feel so alone, thank you all, away to see whats on tv now, check to see if my cats in first, take care all, Dawn xx

Good morning all

I hope you have a happy day without too much pain or stress,

Thinking of all of you

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

Gill