General Chat

If any of you are interested there is a new depression forum at www.depressionforums.co.uk - I'm a member there - click on The Forum and then register.

Just to let you all know Dad seemed a bit better today. Still not getting hopes too high. His nurse said take it a day at a time, don't make any plans!
He also had bursitis on his knee which is very painful
Love to you and yours. Can't think tonight sorry xxxx

Good morning everyone,

Several caring members have sent me p.m's and e-mails, to urge me to come on here whilst I am feeling so low.They are right, I shouldn't wait until thing's get better,I should know by now they don't, if you keep things to yourself.
Having been used to always sort things out for myself, from a very young age, it has become a way of life now.You supported me some time back, when I scraped up the courage to post, but I don't want to be a moaner, whinger, whatever, bore people.
To be honest, I haven't felt so bad for a long time, am really depressed.Yesterday was an all-time low.
When things get so bad, I am taken back to my childhood nightmares, all the years I spent in hospitals (5), with only my beloved aunty visiting when she could, and later, watching my friend in one dying in front of my eyes.Also, the year or so before this aunty died and the year afterwards,comes back like a tidal wave, threatens to drown me.Feelings of deep sadness, guilt and unhappiness just won't go away.

All of you will know and understand these feelings, that is why I should post more often, not keep bottling things up, we all need a 'safety valve', otherwise we will explode.Not sleeping much at night doesn't help either, does it?

Sorry for rambling on, when some of you have far worse things to contend with every day.

Love to all.

Eileen xx

Eileen pleased you are with us. We will get through with help from our friends. Trust us to be here for you.
I look forward to popping on here just a little message is a great lift. I'm sure you will find the same.

Love to each and everyone of you.

Mary hope you are soon able to join us back on here
we all miss you.xxx

Hello everyone, I have just read Eileens message and thought how I could have written it, the first two paragraphs are exactly how I feel,except I would have to say last week was an all time low.
It has prompted me to come clean and stop hiding how bad I feel. I know it's been a long time since I was on here, but I too didn't want to moan and bore people with my aches and pains. That's what it is, all my illnesses ganging up on me, a few of you know how many I have and what they are, in fact I was told by my doctor that just one of my illnesses would get some people down and I am having to deal with cancer as one of mine, to be honest that is the least of my worries at the moment.
I have got so much pain with fm that it is unbearable now, no-one tells you it will be like this, at least I could have expected it if doctor had said so. I am seeing specialist on Thursday so he may help me, at least prescribe some stronger painkillers, I can't walk with the pain, each step is an effort. Now the last three days I can't move my foot or toes, however hard I try I cannot make it move and it drags when I walk. I don't know if it is one of the slipped discs or the nerve damage getting worse or even the cancer in my spine that's affecting it. Whatever it is, seems to be the last straw for me.
I'm a silly old woman, sat moaning about aches and pains but how the h*ll does anyone cope, every movement is accompanied by involuntary moans. I love vacuuming and it was one job I could do, yesterday I tried and got into such a pickle I had to give it up as a bad job. Another thing I am reliant on other people now for, I feel so useless I wonder why I am still here.
I know you all have your own problems and I am sorry to post this but I'm slowly going out of my mind I'm sure.

I still think of you all even though I'm not on much.
Lots of love to everyone.

Caz xx

Thanks Carole,I know everyone on here is very caring and understand when you say how bad you feel, but, I have been trying to fight my own battles for soooo long, it becomes a way of life.

After reading your posting Caz, I feel utterly ashamed.You have truly horrible things wrong with you, and still call yourself a "silly old woman".I really don't understand how you can be so upbeat as you mostly are on this board, and still caring about others.As you say, even one of your illnesses would floor some of us.

We all have to try live in hope, don't we?Not easy some of the time.

Eileen xx

Hi all, been watching o.h. practising his cycling, I will put a full thread up soon with the explanation, some of you will have already guessed I expect!
Did a mini video which he has edited so it is all a bit of a giggle, can't imagine him giggling tomorrow evening when he has done a 12 hr shift covering for someone with day off and had to cycle home afterwards, bet he will have a sore rear end and back lol
Anyway, I just want to send positive thoughts to all my friends on here and to those who think they might sound like moaners/whingers or whatever, don't feel that way. There are several ways of looking at things on here. You can pour your heart out which is therapeutic in itself, and you can grumble or be upset, and you can read other people's posts which might make you feel guilty about posting your seemingly minor problems in comparison to theirs, but we all feel things differently. Some people put on a brave face and try not to let others know they are suffering, and some people are better at letting things out, (and I am not talking body burps here lol) What I find is that I can empathise with some people, suggest a solution or a way of dealing with other things, or wish I could make things better for many of us, but all the posts on here mean we trust one another and care, and the amount of caring, and friendships that have formed through this thread, are amazing. The strength and love sent to each other must help us all, by receiving and by giving so we none of us must feel guilty for posting and hold back. This is our very own Samaritan type thread so use it for whatever reason, and I hope you all feel the love and support and can gain strength from it.

Sermon over folks, bye for now, got to take another vid of super cycler! tee hee

Lizxxx

Hello everyone... I have only come on to go off....

Carole, I typed out a great long story to you.... poured my heart out, tried to give you a little comfort.... I was there for ages.
AND ... the PC froze again.
Tried for a long time. Eventually I tried System Restore and got rid of a few down loads offered by WINDOWS!!
Seems to be better now, but now I'm too tired to start again.
I will get around to writing to you again love... just give me time please. X

Eileen I am so very happy to see you on here sharing with everyone love, and I will be e-mailing you too.
You are allowed to moan on here Eileen... it is our place to moan! X

Ben nice to see you here too, you seem to be a bit better and coping well. X

Elaine, I hope your lovely man gets well soon. They get so down hearted when they are not able to be 'looking after us' don't they?
Bless him, I just know that you are treating him like a king... which he is to you isn't he? ;-0) X

I cannot remember all that I have just read and I'm very tired, so please forgive me all you whom I have not mentioned.

My boy is away on his free holiday with his inlaws and seems so far to be having a nice time. Bless him, he really needs this, and bless them for giving it to him... and their daughter of course. ;-0)

See you all tomorrow.
Lots of love
Deanna XXX

Joyce P... where are you?X
Gwen I just read your piece. X
Betty, Liz, Mary, Ann.... not forgotten. X

Caz what a lovely moan!! LOL. Really it is nice to see you, even to manage to type so much is an improvement for you. No one thinks your letting off a bit of steam is moaning we know it helps at times.

Liz what lovely things you say. I really feel I have friends here and it is good to see you think so too.

Betty any break through yet?

Deanna thanks for messages

I feel mixed up with Dad being ill. It's after my childhood with my parents that I come to be depressed and anxious about my own shadow.
Now I feel I am not bothered enough about Dad.
Maybe I'll feel different when his time comes to pass away. (Which might not be just yet, I don't know).
Hope to go see him tomorrow night after work if I get home early enough.

A friend is in hospital with FM. I took her home from work Wednesday, as she felt a lot of pain in her abdomen. She tries so hard to carry on.

I wish we could all have a get together, it would be so much fun. What would you wear to identify yourself ? Me? I'd be in a fairy costume with my magic wand to make us all better xxx

yorkshire Caz---(((((((((((((((((((((big huggle)))))))))))))))))))))
sorry to hear you are feeling so low and having to put up with so much.You are entitled to complain .I hope you get some help soon to deal with the pain and that it isnt the cancer causing the numbness .
love,Paula xxxxxx

It was so good catching up on some of your posts. I can hopefully get the courage to come back on and download some of my own problems.

Good to see Y/Caz back posting, we have missed you so much.

Carole, I think we all play the guilt game at times, I am also doing that about my dad, plus a lot of if only, eg if only I did not have the flu when my dad got so sick last time, I would have been there with him. I am trying hard to stop this.

Over the last few years I have made a cocoon for myself, and only going out when OH is with me. Have become a recluse, in my own little world. We even sold my car as was my idea, to save on insurance, running costs etc, but now realise I did it so I have an excuse not to go anywhere. So am going to buy (after saving up) a scooter/goofer so can get about more. My dad had one but my brother gave it away, knowing that I had been talking about getting one for ages.

Elieen, good to see you on here, PM me anytime if you want. May be a bit slow getting back as time difference.

Ben, great that you are still posting, I think you are brilliant.

Hi Paula, Gwen, Betty, Ann's, Joyce, Liz, Irene, Carolina, and any one I may have missed.

Love and many hugs

Gail

What a lovely thread this is, ive just sat through and read a load but not all, how every supportive you all are to each other its great. As a mental health nurse who has and does feel depressed at times i find the support your giving each heart warming. You would probley get more from coming on here from each other then coming to see someone like me lol. One in four of us are touched from some form of mental ill health in our life time but i believe it would be more likely be 2 in 4 as there is so many who dont talk about there problems or tell their doctor. So well done on this group for been open and talking about your life and your problems you are all special and i for one applaud you all take care keep it up xxx

Hello Marcia,it is really great to hear from a professional, just how good this thread is.On a lighter note, I first typed 'a mental nurse', just shows how this poor excuse for a brain is working these days.
Thanks to Caz, Betty, Deanna, Carole, Gail, and to all of you who I haven't mentioned.Also, thank you Gail for your offer, I may just do that soon.
Am still fighting off my demons, well, trying to.
Some days are worse than others, don't we all have that?

Take care, all of you.

Eileen xx

Oh how I wish I could send you all the mini video I did yesterday of o.h. practising riding a bike again lol
I am sure you would all feel better for a belly laugh and that's what it gave me, I could hardly keep the camera still for laughing, cruel aren't I? I am sure by the time he has finished this 12 hr shift and then biked home, he wil be ready for bath, food and bed, so a peaceful evening for me lol He has three weeks of riding in the early morning and except for the rest of this week, the next two will be all 12 hr shifts covering for people on holiday.
Oh well, he might end up slimmer and fitter, at the mo he looks like the elephant's bum on a pea lol
Take care, good to hear Marcia's thoughts on this thread, and keep posting everyone when you can, this is called depression/anxiety and we expect to hear depressing and anxious thoughts, as they are better out than in.
love and hugs to all,
must get ready and go and see my pal, her last day in this hospice before more radiotherapy tomorrow and home to her Dad's, for how long, who knows, bless her?
Send her your positive thoughts please, she is so thin, even the air bed is uncomfy for her.

Lizxxxx

Hello All

just wanted to pop in and say - i often look in and have a little read to see how folk are doing.

As some know i suffer on and off with depression myself - even tho i don't post directly to this thread, so it's nice to see that folk can come here and not have their 'unburdoning of worries' classified as moaning ............. which some uncharitable members seem to think is unacceptable here! *raises eyebrows*

And how lovely to read Marcia's message of approval :O))

Nice to see you on here Anita, and also to see Marcia, good to get the views of a professional.

Liz, a very picturesque description of your OH on the bike Lol!!!!

Eileen so did you enjoy your holiday even just a titchy bit? It was supposed to do you good. difficult to leave your worries behind you though.

Caz, please don't bottle up your worries, we are always here to listen, the same goes for Gail as well. What a pity your brother didn't offer you the scooter, not very thoughtful of him was it? I am sure that you will feel better for being a bit more mobile when you get one.

Everyone else, sorry, too many posts to answer but thinking of you all, Deanna, hope you have sorted your computer now, frustrating when they freeze.

Ann
Glos

((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) for all
Rachxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ann PC is better now... wish I were!

Marcia, nice to see that we have you on here, try and stay in case we need your help. ;-0)

Been trying to get through to a number on the phone all day... and the person I need is not there.
Do you think she is avoiding me? ;-0)
She does not even know me, that was a joke... I hope.

Will have to e-mail her instead, so be good to yourselves and I will be back later.
lots of love,
Deanna XXX

TRY ST JOHNS WORT. REALLY DO THINK IT WORKS. ALSO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, THATS WHAT I DO. THERE ARE PEOPLE SUFFERING ALL OVER THIS WORLD, WITH MAJOR PROBS LIKE FAMINE, DISPLACED BECAUSE OF CONFLICT, SO NO HOME OR SHELTER. NEED I GO ON. PLS EXCUSE CAPS. LOVE TO YOU ALL X XX

love and ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) to any of you who are feeling stressed or low today.
Paula xxxxxx