General Chat

Hi Jude, daughter is doing well and had a safe trip home (10 hours of driving and stopping for baby). We had a lovely weekend and baby is just beautiful of course and very happy and content.

Was on a bit of a low as house now feels empty. Then had phone calls from a family member, who made my greyish mood pitch black. It has been a bit hard to shake.

Gail

Oh dear,I am on last knockings of hormones,mostly I am internally dried up and shrivelled but every eighteen months or so my body manages to squeeze out just a few more and they make PMT look like something to look forward to.

I am vile today! If we lived near cliffs the wheelchair would be floating out to sea at this very moment.I have planned down to the last detail how I will cope without the other half when I tell him to leave.Now that is going to be a problem,I would have to speak to him.

Going shopping later.I wonder how many shops I will ever be allowed back in.

At least I know it won't last long nor will it be back for a long time if ever.Wish it would bloody well leave me alone!

hi jude and gail just got back fomr docs who was absolutley useless !!! oh well il just have to struggle on for another four weeks till i see them again and then they are going to review my medication, what annoys me is its not them having to suffer its me and my partner i feel so bad for him because i just dont have the energy to do even the basics, so he has to come home from work and do it all i feel such a burden on him, he says im not but i cant help how i feel ,
Did you get your shower jude?
Gail hope your ok and not too low.
Take care everyone
love
berniexxx

Sharron,
Please try to cope with your situation. I also get very low sometimes and shout and scream at my OH. God she is such a good woman to stand fo it.

hi all i do the same shout at my oh when im low and stressed out even shouted at hm the other day for not being high like i was feeling feel so bad for it at times bless him i dont know how he copes with me.
take care all
love berniexx

hi
claire a bit of positive thinking is needed for you. We will all think of you when you go for your scan. I am sure it must be worrying but try not to get stressed and I am sure it will all be OK.

Sharron, tomorrow is another day, hopefully you will feel brighter when you wake up in the morning. Bernie too. Try to find at least one thing that makes you smile however small. I appreciate it is easier said than done for you.

Gail why did you delete your problems, you know we will listen eventually, hope you are feeling more positive now. is it because your OH is away as well as daughter gone back?

Carole has a poorly computer which is why we have not seen her for a while.

Jude still coughing. I am hoping it is going to clear up soon as we are away at the weekend.

Ann
Glos

Hey Bernie
You are not depressing anyone, we all understand.

David you are in a good age bracket, we've earned every wrinkle, every grey hair, every sore joint. Not that I appreciate them!!! I know that fear of the future, my Dad died the age I am now and I've been dreading it. However, reason says that my diet is MUCH healthier than his ever was (High sugar, high fat) so hopefully I have more than a year left. I'd better have more time, have far too much to do before leaving (apart from decluttering LOL).
I have a family tree mystery to solve, for the sake of my grandfather, somehow in my warped thinking, solving a question will make things right for him.

Carolina nice to see you, sounds like you are doing well.

Jude thanks for your pm.

Sharron you amaze me with your wit and wisdom in looking after your Dad. I love working with the elderly (although I am fitting in more each week it seems) but I can go home at the end of my shift. When my Mum was still alive, in her 90's, I still felt guilty not being able to keep her at home, but took her for visits as often as I could. Reason says that to have had her at home I would have needed to renovate, to create more turning space for her walker, to make the bathroom safer etc etc. She visited as often as I could manage, and the visits were good. Probably the best Christmas we ever had was when I had just left my abusive OH, and bought a little house on my own. Had brought very little with me, so we had our turkey on paper plates, with my sterling silver cutlery which I had spirited out of the house, most of us sat on the floor round a secondhand coffee table, while my Mum sat on the settee which I had got for $25 from the Salvation army store. We had food, laughs, music, and caring. Never mind that there was no big plate for the turkey to be carved on, I disected it in the roasting pan. We had plastic glasses, a chocolate log cake for sweet - on paper plates again. Quite a sight, but I felt happy for the first time in years. I knitted stockings for all my adult "kids" and hung them on the fireplace. We were home at last.

Eileen I couldn't eat bananas at night, they'd give me acid indigestion for sure LOL.

caz hope your pain is better controlled, here's a gentle hug.
Liz, are you behaving yourself, have you managed to have a shower yet???

Hugs to everyone who needs one today,
Mary

hi everyone im all wound up when im unwell i cant stand any form of affection sounds strange doesnt it,just feel so bad for my OH because he loves cuddles and i just dont want to be touched.Just tryed to cheer myself up and go to asda but everyone was getting in my way and i spent too much money so now feel guilty about it oh well i suppose life must go on.I must be realy depressing everyone dont mean to sorry its just find this board a good place to let off steam.
Hope everyones ok and not had a bad day
take care everyone
love berniexxxx

Hello everyone,
Looking in tonight so much earlier than usual,I know i dont say much on here,But looking in every evening does help me.
Caz glad to hear the pain is under control for you,I will pm you tomorrow,been so worried about you.
Goodnight all,
God bless.
Christine xxx

Hi again

Bernie you are not depressing, you are depressed and that is an illness, unfortunately it can't be seen by people, but l know as you do that it can be felt and it can also be dealt with.Perhaps you need to change your psychiatrist, my son did!! actually thats really strange cause he's now back with the original one and she's great:o)) She phoned us here at home a few months ago (son asked her to), she says she is determined to get our son better and that we can phone her anytime. She'll do it aswell!!! When our son first saw her he was paranoid, anxious and in a psychotic staight and has wanted to end the horrible feeling he had but he did'nt want to die really...... atlast his meds have been increased he trusts both the psychiatrist and psychologist and he's showing signs of improvement. You can get there aswell, keep asking for help, don't get anxious over it just ask.Look up on the internet the sort of things that can help. l know l'm rambling on here and l'm not you (its easier said than done), but remember we all want you to get better ok?? Say hi to your other half:o)
Take care
jude :o) xx

Hello everyone else, l'm off now to wrap some pressies:o)

DEANNA !!! Come here let me hug you ((((xx)))))) I am thrilled to see you back with us xxx your Tony
was wonderful keeping us up to date with your progress.

Welcome to our new friends, lovely to meet you all.

Well I missed this thread with you all in one place!!
My computer couldn't have died at a worse time. With the expense of paying the credit card for holliday purchasses and Christmas, now a new tower added to it!!

Have looked back through thread and see I have some catching up to do.

It's good to be back with you all xxx

hiya all
im simon,bernies other mind and carer.just a quick note to say thank you to all that have replied to her in the recent past.its comforting to know,we are not alone.keep it up all of you,and never give up on anything.i know we wont.if theres any body whos a carer,partner,or even one who feels low or down,feel free to contact me for a chat too.itll be nice to hear from you.take care,and have a good evening.
regards simon.

Welcome back Carole, good to see you.

Simon, hello and welcome to the thread. Feel free to join us any time, always pleased to see you and Bernie.

Ann
Glos

I fear I'm going to say some thend dreadful on a public forum.

My experience of death is limited, but always associated with grief.

The King, my grand father, a pet, uncles and aunts, my Father then my Mother then my in laws.

My Mother's passing was totally unexpected following a short illness. I was present.

In the 14 years and 11 moths that have passed I have been stuck in a form of retarded griening or shock (sometimes expressing itself as bad temper) its a form of fear, an anger an insidious terror. A terror of death.

Others have got on with their lives and focused on what needs doing.

What is wrong with me ?

hi david i totally understand what your talking about most of my parnoia and anxiety is an underlying total fear that im going to die any minute its pure hell and yes to others it sounds ridiculous and yes sometimes i also get bad tempered with others .Can i ask have you seen your gp and spoke to him about it some medicines may help with it take care
hi jude thanx for your message im going to see my gp on thursday morning to ask if i can see another pshcyiatrist im just struggling on as best as i can take care
love bernie

David you need to see your GP. It is so easy to get stuck in a cycle of continued grieving. To break this cycle you will need to talk to a professional. I miss my dad every day, and yes still grieving for him, but think this is normal as he only passed away 4 months ago. The fact that daughter had a baby 3 weeks before dad passed has to an extent made it easier, as a new life has started.

Simon welcome to our thread. My OH is mostly my carer as well, I am able now to do most things myself though. Bernie, you are recognising there is a problem, you must realise that this is a big step for you. If the pills were not kicking in you would not know there was a problem. Good for you and we are here if needed.

Ann, OH has been doing some overtime, but is not away. My problem is a family member who gets drunk, phones me and is abusive. Because they then say they have no memory of the abuse and were drunk that it is okay, and they then should be forgiven.

Sharron, I hope you are feeling a bit better today and the wheelchair did not go for a swim. I lost my ovaries when in my 20's, so was very fast as did not take any replacements. I did watch my mother go through this and it was not nice.

Claire, Your pregnancy will be fine, you will be fine, try not to worry though. Please let us know how the scan goes as us ciber aunties and grannies are really looking forward to the new addition.

Yeah! Carole is back. About time.

Hi to Jude, Y/Caz, liz Christine and Deanna. Probably missed lots, not meaning to be rude.

Love and hugs

Gail

PS Sometimes there is so much sadness I find it overwhelming, and think that my problems are therefore petty and indulgent. So I edited. I know I am being stupid. You do not need to tell me.

Hi, I have a new computer but have to go to work and leave it ;o(. I hope to be able to catch up with you all at the weekend. Lovely to see new friends helping others on here. I'll start adding my four penneth worth soon :o))

xxx

If anyone can read this, due to new format. YUCK,

I had a fall today, well more of a topple over backwards. I am a bit sore and even sorrier than usual so if I am off a couple of days do not worry I will be back.

Gail

Hi Gail, sorry to hear you had a fall, are you ok? I agree with you about this new layout, it is atrocious, as you may know I am partially sighted and it is a nightmare to try and read things with the colouring and size. Why couldn't they leave things alone, this is my lifeline with being housebound and if I can't read it what is the point. I also don't know how to tell if I have any pm's.
My x-ray went ok but I had forgotten that when I see cancer doc I have to have my bloods taken a week before, yesterday was the day so I was completely exhausted by teatime.
X-ray results will be with my gp in 10 days time so I am keeping fingers, and would toes if I could move them, crossed that the b****r hasn't moved into soft tissue, ie lungs.
You take care of yourself and rest, we will be here when you need us, to shout at if need be.

Love and hugs to everyone
Caz xx

Afternoon everyone:o)

Still blooming cold here, freezing infact:o(( going out in a mo so will do a proper post later!!

Hope everyone is ok.

Bernie & Simon - you both take care, so pleased you are going to ask for another psychiatrist, you have every right if you feel things could be improved.

Gail do hope you are ok, just take things easy today for goodness sake woman....and don't worry about what you put on here, l thought thats what this thread was all about, somewhere you can get your feeling out in the open and get support.

Y/Caz fingers are tightly x'd for you, sorry the site has altered it must make things so difficult for those sight problems, hopefully in time they willalter things again like they did before.

Take care:o)

jude :o) xx
Hello Carole Twinkly watsits....lol see you later:o) xx