General Chat

And a big flask of tea...it's a must ;-)))

L xxx

I read Deanna's posting about pain she is suffering from. I sympathise, sincerely.

I made an earlier posting about having come off a very long term addiction of Valium.

Ive survived, but I get vague aches and pains I cannot account for.

For 2-3 months I've had pain down the right hand side of my neck. It radiates from the crook of my neck to my right shoulder via my right collar bone.

Some days its painful and some days its not there. I find this strange

Could this possibly be a side effect of not taking those tablets?

David what hand do you use to work the mouse? I don't mean to take the micky! I had awful pain in my right crock of my neck, and down my arm. It was from spending so much time on here! Depression makes us think the worse. The pains are blown up.
I am just saying consider if yours could be from sat at the computer. xxx

It's so nice to see how this thread is helping you all.
I could not ask for more. What a great bunch you all are xxxx

Thank you for that prompt reply.
I use the right hand to use the mouse.
My posture in front of my monitor isnt all it should be. Tendancy to sit at an angle to it, back not straight.

So you may have solved the problem, or identified its cause

Thank you

Carole, you are right in saying what a great bunch you all are on here.The amount of support, compassion, and understanding is amazing,this can't be found even with the very best counsellor. Unconditional love is what a parent usually shows to their child, or, as my beloved aunt used to say, "warts and all".Well, this is almost the same as what all of you do on here.You don't judge anyone, only try to help where you can.
I still can't bring myself to talk about what happened this afternoon Gail, but thanks for asking.
Carole, thank you too for saying you were holding my hand.Had to laugh out loud when you said you were coming with me etc. so, you DID help me today.

Am still licking my wounds, will come back on a bit later.

Eileen xx

to be honest now i look back to the ages of about 8 or 9 am sure i use to want adults attention i would like do things to try and be noticed. i dont do that now but i think maybe i had this prob at that age but not noticed it. i think of death nearly every day i dont know if thats a sign i feel emotional every day certain things i cant seem to forget. my confidence is quite low too. i duno really am only 22 so havent a clue. sometimes i watch families like playing with their children in the park too it makes me sad and i duno why it does its odd. and also i think i might stop talking because my name is up lol

Thanks everyone for the sympathy, it is a boost knowing that I am talking to people who *know* what I am talking about.
I was in pain until after 2.00.
I took my tablets after dinner and then took 2 more tablets. I am now busy ruining all the good work i did by resting..... but I'm a bit lonely here without you lot.
David, pain has it's own laws.
you get rid of it in one area and it returns in another.... I don't know why, and I don't think that the medics do either. As long as I have some form of pain relief, I'm happy. I don't abuse it though.
If heat will get rid of it, then heat is what I will use.
Your shoulder. If you don't have one, you really must buy yourself a 'heat pad'. you can buy them in ARGOS for about £15... £16, and they are wonderful.
My son bought me one years ago, and it is one of the best presents he has ever bought me., and he buys us plenty.
Try one especially for your collarbone and shoulder.
I just used my wheat bag (which he also bought) today as it was the nearest thing and they were going out.
Sharron, great advice.
I was a door mat for years.
It took a long time for me to recover, but I'm good now.
There is no insult in saying NO. the insult is when you are too afraid, and you say YES.... the person you are insulting is yourself.
Took me a while to figure that one out.
Can't stay any longer... shoulder getting bad again, I am such an idiot!!
love to all, I wont name you all, but you know who you are don't you?
EVERYBODY!!!
lots of love,
Deanna XXX

PS. forgot to tell you all.
I phoned Ray today to ask about Jill, and she answered the phone!
She is still ill, but she is home and has the nurse 4 times a week.
They are getting her bits to keep her comfortable, and she was EATING when I phoned.
All who know Jill, will know that that is a great improvement.
XX

Well,I have started the narcissism survivoers thread as suggested. What do you think?

Hey Gill what a lovely post you made. Thank you very much for adding that. I'm sure it made a lot of sense to many of us. We have our "things" we think we could have done different. We still worry about actions we chose to take, and wish we hadn't. We have to learn to accept we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. xxxx

Been out to a ballet tonight with a bloke at works girlfriend. Don't really know her. Have been worrying about what I would talk to her about! Do you know when I dropped her off at home she said thanks for tonight, you are good company!! I could have dropped dead. How nice of her to say that. It really meant a lot to hear that.

Dave hope that's you sorted! Next !!!!

Really, I was worried about suggesting that, but I know that's what it was when I had pain there.

Liz......... (nothing just wanted to say your name) thinking of you xxx

Sharron hope your thread helps people xx

Angela are you okay? xx

Haven't seen Jules recently. I'm coming for you Jules xxx

Gail sending you a lovely cuddle ((((xx)))) not too tight was it? xxx

Ben you have been missing too long. What you up to? xx

sleep tight all of you, mind the bugs don't bite xxx

Well,nobody seems interested in my thread as yet. I hope it does take off because one of the worst aspects of that kind of abuse is the feeling of isolation.

It is vital that those who are still victims have somewhere to turn so that they can at least be believed.

Hi all, don't know what's wrong with me, am feeling so tired, slept 12 hrs round almost on Thursday.
I do think about you all and know I owe some of you replies to emails etc so please forgive me, I might catch up soon lol

Sharron, don't lose heart, maybe others are feeling like me at the mo, might be the thought of winter coming on for some of us.
love and hugs, you lovely people
Lizxxxx

Hi everyone, how are you all today?

Carole it is a great thread, but there is also lots that go on in the background via PM's that are absolute lifesavers. Sometimes things just cannot be said on the boards and a one on one session can be just so great to rationalise what is going on at that time.

Ben is on a mission with tracing his tree just now, He was off again today, I think to records office somewhere.

Sharron, please keep your new thread and the first one, sometimes things are just too raw for people to add. I have a brother who has taken my mothers place and I am just learning to stand up to him. But he is never wrong. And, so self righteous.

Love and hugs

Gail

I was thinking about your wall last night Gail. If you fall off on the wet side,you will immediately turn into a beautiful swan and glide effortlessly away.

Should you plummet from the other side,if you have any luck at all,you will land on your brother and he will break the fall.Trouble is that you will have to wash off all that mess afterwards.

Isn't a long sleep great though Liz? Accept that you will get tired, you are not twenty any more and would you want to be? Have that sleep, enjoy it for what it is, warmth, relaxation,you time.

Wow,I'm philosophical today!

Has no one been on today except Sharron?Hi Sharron hope you don't feel rejected love, they will all be here in a minute. ;-0)
How is everyone?
I notice we have someone new, Louise... is she new?
She does sound very low and I'm just surprised that no one has seen her and answered her message.
Hi Louise, hope you feel better today.
Well it is the end of my day on the PC. My usual habit is tea at 6.00 then soaps, then bed with my books, then sleep.... so I just hope you are all well and not staying away because you are sick.
see you tomorrow???I hope so.
Deanna XXX

Hi

I had quite a good trip and I am back home in Norfolk now. I am trying to find out why an ancestors sibling married twice in the same church if neither he nor his wives were from there? Would it necessarily be due to a relative there or could there be other reasons like discounts, etc?

Read my latest update on my thread about why my success story was deleted. I have written a timeline of events at the bottom for when Thomas had to wait until his wife was dead of TB to wed Mary Ann.

Ben

Looks like you all had lives today apart from me. I am absolutely tuckered tonight and have to go out and do a bit of work.It is not arduous but my dad is wearing me into the ground.

It's not that he needs looking after, quite the opposite. The more he can do now the more he wants to.It is like having a hyper-active toddler. Today we pickled onions because that is what he used to do before the stroke. Then we made green tomato mincemeat. Neither of these is a big job I know but it all has to be broken down into little bits that he can do with his left hand and I have to let him do it,which is easier said than done.

Having got the taste he had to go up the garden and pick beans which prompted him to put the seeds on the bird table which I have always told him he could do but he said he couldn't.Awkward old bugger!

Now he has done that I have to think up some more challenges for him.Maybe I should have left him in bed and pandered to his every whim when he came home.

Hi Louise,welcome there great bunch of people on here and you talk as much as you like,we listern and give you support its not catch its because were all friends on here and all have problems one way or another,but we are here for one another
Dutchxx
Hi Deanna,hope your feeling abit better today and hows Allan as i no your worried about him
Vicky ,this is for you as you no she cant get on line but is in alot of pain with her legs,and needs us here to give support wish i could be there to help
Gail,thank you for your kind words on Sharons thread i always blame myself but at the end of the day it was my dad who was always by my side,hope you have better days
Liz,thinking of you my friend and all the sadness you,ve had this week,i hope things get better for you as you such aloverly lady
Tinkerbell,hope your well and things are beginning to get bit better for you
Caz ,my friend i no how you are as we talk nearly every day
Eileen,when the time is right for you to say how you feel,but till then we are still here for you and everyone who needs us
Betty,did you get your parcel as yet and did you copy i emailed you hope it comes
well incase ive left anyone out ,i wish you all better days
Love Dutchxx

I have been on and off today inbetween doing jobs. Had a lot of pm's back and forward with Louise and our Eileen.

Just on my way again to do a bit of shoping. Will have to go on credit card cause I am broke!! We have to eat between now and pay day!!

Love to you all Carole xx

Hi all, still trying to catch up with myself, can't believe it is nearly the end of Sept and I still haven't sorted out something I promised at the beginning of the month. Been so much going on!
Sharron, yes I do enjoy my long snoozes but it's to do with my fm mostly, that I don't ever sleep well hence needing a long session sometimes I think.
Hope to catch up a bit more next week when o.h. is on late shift and I can do things in the daytime lol

Take care, all of you, love and hugs
Lizxxxxx

Hi folks.
Been quiet the past few days due to a kitchen full of veggies which needed canning.
Today I finished and bottled 28 pints of green tomato chutney. How I think we'll eat it all, is another question. Good thing it keeps 2 years LOL.

Some of you will remember my mess with the dosage of Citalopram. I have successfully got down to 60mg daily, but I tried for a week to reduce to 50 mg and had some unpleasant symptoms so I'm staying at 60mg daily for now.
Colleen is home for the w/e is achieving very good marks in forensic psychology, apparently it makes sense!!
Tomorrow we are taking the children to the pumpkin farm, they love it there, it's only open for a few weeks each autumn, opens tomorrow till Hallowe'en,Oct 31.They have hay rides, a train that goes round the farm, several games involving pitching pumpkins, a maze - of course there's food too LOL. Hopefully it doesn't keep raining, pouring right now at 1130pm.
I've been reading sporadically the past few days, I know there is quite a bit of sorrow at present, sending caring hugs to those who need them.

I was reminded, by Gill's comments about sitting on a wall,(thank you Gill) trying to decide which side to fall onto, of several instances in my life where I should have probably fallen in the opposite direction ,
We all make poor decisions at times, display poor judgement, but are oblivious at the time. Only later can we admit/acknowledge those actions as mistakes. Regret them yes, but move on despite them. But that was then, the good and the poor decisions have brought us to the people we are today. I'm now finding it takes too much emotional energy to focus on what I should/could have done differently. As I'm sure many others can, I can think of examples in childhood, in my teens, certainly career choice should have been considered less emotionally, but the heart ruled. Same thing applies to marraiges, I'd give anything to be able to go back and change several decisions, to have had the common sense which apparently comes with age, and make rational decisions intellectually,instead of emotionally. I'd work harder at my first marraige, and eliminate the second completely.
Certainly depression is a chemical imbalance, I know that all too well, but in 60 years, for me, there have been several triggers which have exacerbated a lifetime depression, more than one is the result of impetuous decisions.
Guess what I'm trying to say, is that we shouldn't beat ourselves up for a lifetime, over an incident which should be placed in the rear of memory.

Sending hugs, how I'd love to fly over, for one of the meets.
Night all,
Mary