General Chat

Can I join the crew? Looks like my job is filled (cook). Any suggestions on what job I could do?

Hiya All - Admiral, Cap'n, Slappers et all - have you missed me? Unfortunately a stupid bugger (as opposed to the lazy one) finally managed to get in all 5000 nails in my lid on Sunday morning, and it's taken me this long to get out - needless to say I am rather peckish and could do with a bite - will be reporting for duty once Ive had a whirl around the ship, seeing who is available (I mean, what there is to eat) Then I must get some sleep, nail chewing is a very tiring past-time. I will get the so and so though, as all the while she was hammering she was singing "If I had a hammer....." so I'm looking for a hefty alto-soprano slightly off-key who obviously had nothing better to do with her time that nail me in!!! Be afraid my dear, be very afraid!!! Jac the Drac

Good Morning All Lady Marmalade (Muck) reporting for duty. please please may I work today, I have had a great nights sleep and I am hoping to have Weetabix for my breakfast, as its helps me go during the day (if you know what I mean). Fat Lady - The sparklers belong to Strump, it was the missile Knickers that belonged to me. Lady Marmalade

"Yawn" Morning all breakfast menu will be up in a jiffy and then cook is going ashore for a look around- FAT LADY

BREAKFAST MENU For the Admiral, Dr Legs, Dave the croc hater and all paying passangers. Rice Crispies or Weatabix scrambled eggs and pork sausage toast or fresh bread tea or coffee freshly baked scones Jam of your choice Crew to eat in Galley, no scones left. Lady Anne knows the drill fro the brothel and don't forget the damned dishes. FAT LADY

I am totally confused again - Forgotten due to the drink I had - what my job is/was/will be. can someone remind me please. Liz

Morning all. The bar will open at 10am. Could Madam ensure her girls do not sit with their legs apart, its putting people off their drinks. Please remember - no spitting, swearing or f**ting in the bar. Happy hour at 12 noon till 1pm. Pimms No 1 with all the trimmings served 6-7pm. Thank you. Viv Alcoholic Landlady of the bar.

Lindy has kindly reminded me what I'm supposed to be doing. LOL. The reception/security desk will be open briefly this morning, for the sale of postcards, stamps and most other things. Am afraid David will have to manage as per norm, to do security checks - unless there are men involved. As Viv is Landlady of the bar - perhaps she will be nice and give me some time of to test the champers? Liz

Mommylonglegs As I am a paying passenger, I do realise I can sit back and watch the water go by. But I was wondering if you might need a Nail Technician as I quite enjoy tending to talons!! I'm sure the Brothel girls would love to have a manicure! I dont do feet!!! What do you think? Lady M

Persur, I have a vacancy for a barperson (with experience) and a potperson (duties include collecting and washing glasses, ashtrays etc.) Please send them along to the bar before lunch as I will be too p*ssed to interview them after the happy hour-hic! Cheers Viv. Liz, the champers is mine-hands off!

Oh thank you, I do understand the position is temporary, Chrissie may want an assistant upon her return? I am quite happy to tend to the brothel girls, I think they are quite sweet really (bit smelly and unclean, but quite sweet), must get to work now so all of you that have not been able to get your nails done since Chrissys break then come and make an appointment. I'll be in my room getting ready. Lady M

What's that Elf think this is? the 'Elf Service? get the bounder out of his bed (or lifeboat) and down to the Surgery where my trusty trochar will be at the ready - a good dose of castor oil wont do him any harm. Talking of drinks, I'm partial to a Bloody Mary (or a Bloody Ellen, Judith, David etc etc) Get five lined up for me please for Happy Hour as I need to keep my strength up! Also, that crocodile is wandering around the childrens paddling pool again - there were some kiddies there early on, but none now - has playschool started? or has the croc been fed already? Jac the Drac

Jac, Kids lined up on the bar for you. Viv

As Viv wont let me taste the champers, Suppose I'd better do some cleaning up behind the bar Viv keeps on blaming the boat - on her spilling her drinks - but am not too sure

Hi all- Steph here, i would like to apply for the Entertainment Managers job-x-

no prob for this afternoon, but im afraid i melt in the evening if i am not in my room by 5.30!

Entertainment- Bingo at 1.30 Karioke at 2.30 Any requests? Let me entertain you! Jackpot for the bingo is 100 Euros, if there are no winners it will roll over to tomoro- u gotta be in it to win it!

ok no prob- MESSAGE TO ALL PLEASE COME AND SEE ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO AUDITION FOR SNOW WHITE.

OOOHHHH sounds like a man overboard to me!

Call out a search please people!- i will off for my lunch break at 12.00 but will be holding auditions at 1.00 until the bingo starts-be prompt please people!