General Chat

I've just found cook. I've just been into the dry storage area for some rice wine vinegar to make the sushi, half the bottles are empty. Cook is sleeping it off, using the bottles as pillows. Poor thing - must be bad if she's drinking that. Is there an AA on this ship?

Black Widow, I'm afraid I don't have anything in the stores to sure a stiff Patrick Swayze, so you'll have to sort him out yourself. But I presume that won't bother you. Angela, Quartermaster

Black widow, I can help with Patrick if you are some what tired. I've just returned from my exersise class so i'm ready and reporting for action. Must have a bath first though as I'm a bit hot and sweaty, bit like the sluts in the brothel. I could do a rendition for you, voulez vous cuchet avec moi, sa soi, be you lady marmalar rr rr rrd (appologies for any mistakes!!!!)lol lol. Bet you never knew that song was written for me, did you? Lady M

The midnight buffet is all prepared and ready to be put out at 11.30pm. Could the dining room attendants please pick it up then. If anyone comes upon a chewy piece of sushi please ignore. Strump - I have sent up the whipping cream as you requested, what do you need it for? The head cook has gone on walkabout in her alcoholic haze. If you find her please return.

I see no doctor on board, a mist surrounds her - forsooth I say woe is me for I have come for my prick but I bend not before her. The omens are good my bones rattle my eyes clear I see great things ahead but hist! I hear crockery, but no! I am wrong - a croc is all ! I am away - the spirits call ! The soothsayer ( I think - haven't been appointed yet!)

Message for Fat Lady Cook Were you or were you not skinning a reptile this morning? i distinctlyy saw you, and the croc has been missing for some time (is Boris his name? I never knew that - I thought Boris was another elf) You cannot skin me alive as I am the un-dead (dont you ever see any Hammer House of Horror movies??) for your information in the absence of the Dr Longlegs I am the medical officer, so do not presume to send me to the sick bay - as I have said before, I only work at night, so there is no point in anyone going to the Sick Bay for treatment during the day, I shall be comfortably ensconced in my own compartment (recently moved to avoid the disturbance of the fat lady soprano with the hammer and nails trying to nail me down each night) ~She wont find me tonight, as I am safely hidden in the brothel (the slappers and sluts will only think its a new coffee table in their quarters). I repeat the warning to all of you who think mamoth dung is good for the skin - you will need extra Gillettes tomorrow to deal with the consequences if you place it on your face!! Dont come to me with a shaving rash and ask for assistance!! The dinner tonight Fat Lady Cook was the usual abysmal fodder - could we please have some more rare meat? And, barmaid, there is not enough blood in the Bloody Marys (although the Happy Hour lunchtime Kiddies were acceptable - not too heavy in the middle of the day - thank you for those) I go now to see what is in store for the night - adieu until we meet again. Jac the Drac (Head Mortician, Acting Ship's Dr. and generally clever dickey)

Oh boy, one knackered gardner, I hope Im getting well paid for all this work Im doing on my OWN. Lychee's, advocado, fresh ginger, paw paw, plantins, and sweet potatoe, on its way to you Lindy. Im now off to the bar for a very well deserved huge glass of wine, and it had better be cold. Maggie

Nudging again, just to remind you all. Remember This is not the very first thread and some folks have deleted. Jenny.

Nudging again as requested. Jenny

Apologies, shipmates I've just been through and deleted all my posts because they were posted using my full name. Three years ago I didn't realise what could happen if you use your real name on here. Gwynne (ents)