General Chat

Ann ---- when l found out about my friend with Alzeimers earlier this year, Sue from Sommerset was very helpful, l think she belongs to various groups etc so maybe it was her??

jude xx

I meant to add this information a while back - I found it in a Take a Break Magazine before Christmas.

There is a book called Contented Dementia by Oliver James who is a psychologist - his mother in law helped develop a 'revolutionary method of care' and it sounds very good, it may be what Ann is thinking about, maybe you read the same article Ann.
there is a website called www. special. co.uk which might explain it more, I haven't looked at it .
O. James m.i.l.'s 'brilliant discovery' was that a care plan could be built round the person with dementia's past experience of professional and social roles or of enjoyable hobbies, enabling them to live a find of happy Groundhog Day. It seems to mean adapting their comments to things they remember, say a person gets stressed in a doctor's waiting room and says has their flight been called, as they were used to flying and travelling a lot. They became anxious saying they didn't want to miss the flight and where's the hand luggage. Rather than contradict them go along with it by saying luggage checked in, we just have handbags (or whatever was with them) so that they relaxed and accepted the situation as they saw it. Stops the anxiety and aggression in being challenged.

Hope I have explained a little from the article, I have had it scanned and printed out so I could forward it to someone, but don't think o.h. was able to do it so I could send by email - I will ask him when he gets home and see if he can try again.

The soft toy idea sounds good, maybe you could take something in for your Mum to care for and hold.

Lizx

Thanks for the latest comments. I do go along with her about whatever she says. Most of the time (prior to latest illness) she thought we were in our local Methodist chapel waiting for the service to start. She always asks if I have seen her mam & dad and have I helped her dad to deliver the post.

Cuddly toys annoy her and she uses them to 'batter' the staff.

Thanks again
LW

Hello again LW,
No offence but I had to smile when I read what your Mum does with soft toys (Bless her)
My eldest sister was diagnosed with Alzheimers in November 2007, (she was one of the two sisters who moved in with Mum when she was dying)
It is so sad to see the strong person I have always known slowly disappear and we all try very hard to keep her spirits up, its a horrible disease that can steal a persons life away while leaving them still alive.
Take comfort in the small things.
Patx

Mum deteriorating rapidly. Won't take nourishment. Won't tolerate drip. I feel so helpless.

Thanks for keeping in touch with your additional threads. They are a comfort.

Pat - no offence taken. Whenever I see your name it brings back memories of day trips to Blackpool from Hapton by train and stopping at Kirkham & Wesham.
Love Hazel xx

Liz, missed your post. well done, that is the article I saw, I remember the bit about the doctors waiting room, have to admit it made me chuckle a bit. Thanks.

Ann
Glos

LW ,When Mum kept pulling her drip out,it got to the point where I asked for it not to be put up again.It was clear by this stage that it wasn't going to be too long now and I just wanted her to be as peaceful as possible and kept comfortable.She kept saying I cant do this anymore.So I said why didn't she close her eyes and have a nice long sleep.I had to leave to travel 300 miles and sadly she died just before I walked in my front door.I wish I had stayed that little bit longer ,but you just don't know when it will happen.
I hope your Mum doesn't linger too long .It's different when something can be done for them,but when you know it is just a matter of time,you hope it comes sooner rather than later.Stay Strong for a bit longer.
Helen x

Thinking of you and your mum. Its isnt easy for anyone when its your mum its even harder.

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

pm'd you, love, will be thinking about you and your poor Mum, bless her.

Lizxx

I have just seen this thread Liz and want to send you a very big hug and tell you Im thinking about you and your Mum,I saw my Nana at the mercy of this disease too.

With love,

Caz xxxxxx

Dear LW

My thoughts are with you - God Bless your Mum.

Love & Cuddles
Steph xxx

I dont think it was me Jude. I don't belong to an actual organisation about the subject.

Though I have helped to care for my mother-in-law when she was confused with a form of dementia.
I also took part as a citizen in a UK panel making recommendations on a variety of brain disorders to our own parliament and to the EU parliament in Brussels. Our research showed how sad all dementias are and we did propose that more funds be spent on research.

Last time I heard both the EU and UK had increased funding for this, so it did help.

My thoughts, sympathies and best wishes are with anyone who has any loved one suffering from dementia

Sue

Thinking of your Mum and you.

Little change. Mum is ignoring me now because she only wants her Mam. Won't accept a hug.

LW

Hi LW,
Mum thought I was Nana (her Aunt who brought her up),and kept asking did I love her,and she wanted an arm round her.I managed to do it without her seeing the tears streaming down my face.One of the visitors of another patient very diplomatically brought over a box of tissues for me!!.It is so hard for you now.I'm here if you want to PM me.
Helen x

I've pm'd you love, you and your Mum are in my thoughts.

Lizx

Hazel Im so sorry i mistook you for Liz, sending all my love,

Caz xxxxxxxx

No prob. Caz. Hope you are all O.K.

LW

Only just seen this - thinking of you and your mom.
((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Love Mary xx

The chest infection has apparently cleared but the consultant says it has been too much for her and she is slowly slipping away.

She wanted lots of cuddles today although she didn't know me. She had two sips of soup and a small amount of pureed pears then refused any more.

She is worn out and weary.

Thanks for pms
Hazel