General Chat

Morning all,

Have to be off shopping with daughter soon, something I loath, especially on a saturday.
Kathy, I can understand how upsetting it is for you, not to be able to be with your friend in Spain, when she needs you. My (only) sister's husband died a year ago yesterday, and I couldn't be with her for several reasons.I send her a card and phoned her yesterday morning.
Carole, how is your dad today, any improvement?It is a good thing that your mum will have home care to wash & dress your dad. I had to have this for my aunt, in the last year of her life, but she would only agree to someone coming 2 x per week.Only when she developed ulcers on her leg would she agree to a nurse coming in every day to dress it.
Betty, it would be nice to go to Ireland for a few days in autumn, but we shall see how things go here first.
Gail, I am pleased that your oh's op went so well, and that he is cancer-free now.
Elaine, also good that your o.h is picking up again
Liz, I know that everything you say here makes sense, BUT, it is a big but, I can't feel easy, or even happy,knowing that my loved ones are in pain, be it mental or physical.I would gladly bear all their pain, if it would help to ease theirs.
To all of you on here, who are suffering one way or another, I wish you a lot of sunshine in your lives, and may you all find peace of mind.

Eileen xx

Hello again,

I forgot to mention something in my last posting.
The terrible thing that is hanging over my head these last months is the big bogey man, this started off the depression and strees that I am suffering, making everything far, far worse.I dread every time the letter box rattles....feel invaded in my own home, as it were.This makes all my worries about family a million times harder to bear.
Sorry for not being clearer, but I cannot talk about this at all.Only my old school friend in England knows the full extent of this, to of my children know a bit.

Have a lovely day everyone, should say, lovely bank holiday.

Eileen xx

I have only come on to say good night to you all.

My bay is back... you would think he was 12 to listen to me, but I can't help it. I've missed him so very much.

AND, the man came this morning to set up the freebox, and now I have a new worry.... learning how to us the bloomin thing. Hope I don't go an lose all my favourite TV programmes.

he had to take it through the front of the house so made a hole into the bedroom.... then through to the living room, and stapled all the cable around the doors... FINE!
Bur when he had to move the wardrobe .....I have never been so humiliated in my life!!
The cobwebs behind that were like something from GREAT EXPECTATIONS!! ;-0(
They have been sorted.... but who in my state of health moves a wardrobe every week/ month/ YEAR?? Please everyone, please please don't all shout MEEEE!

Good night all and I hope you have a lovely evening.

Ben, I hope she is willing to meet for a coffee, and that you make a nice new friend who understands your foibles... that is what we all need.
lots of love to all,
Deanna XXX

Hi Deanne

She accepted. Yes !!!. We will meet up in London for a coffee and a chat when I am down there. As she is just like me, we will get on fine and talk about our ocd. Unlike the Polish girl who messed me about.

Ben

Dad is sat in his wheelchair now. Has lots of colour.
Breating so much better. Mention of him still being on anti biotics, but coming home end of next week.

Ben good luck with your new friend

Love to you all and see you when I get home from Burnley xx

Hi

My friend later emailed me and said that she would prefer to meet at the conference but if not, we will meet up 1 and 1. She sounded very determined at first but minds think alike as I was pondering the meet last night.

To ease the pressure, I have offered to take my mum along for the beginnig of them meet so that we can both overcome our shyness, as we have never met before and we are both OCD sufferers.

She did say that she has felt like this before with a bloke who she actually had met in person at a tango class.

She recently said before we arranged this that one of her plans is to fall in love as like me she is single. If I really like her and vice versa, then who knows?

But my mum will be there for the beginning of the meet.

Ben

Tomorrow, 25th august, is my youngest's 37th birthay. Sarah has been having a lot of trouble these last months, as you may have been reading in my posts here.
I am off at the crack of dawn, to try be with her in Amsterdam around 9am.
Had lots planned for today, ie. more jam-making, clearing even more cupboards out, washing etc. because I will be even more busy on tuesday & wednesday.Am leaving at the crack of dawn thursday morning for Brittany.Am being picked up by (handicapped) daughter & her husband, then leaving a couple of hours later with them.Am very worried it will be far too much of a good thing for my s.i.l, but he just 'poo-poos' this.Ah well......

Must get on with even more jam-making, the have an early night.

Love to all from Eileen

Eileen, hope the jam making will be therapeutic as well as productive and you will relax a little. Try to stop worrying about what might be and enjoy the moment, enjoy your time in Brittany. If your s.i.l. seems confident he can cope, then let him go ahead and just help him when you can, and enjoy your daughter's company and pleasure in being with you.

Happy Birthday to Sarah and hope things improve for her.
Take care of yourself, we will talk when you get back from Brittany.
love and hugs
Lizxxx

Ben, good for you sorting things out as you have, a good idea to take your Mum along. Don't expect too much from the meeting, just go with the flow, and see what develops. Even if it is just a great friendship it will be a further joy in your life.
Good luck,
Lizx

Hi Purple

I agree I wont expect too much from the meeting. I think I just want a good friendship, and if she or I dont want a relationship, then well will no doubt remain friends and stay in touch online.

Ben

Ben you are taking a very sensible attitude, very often a friendship can turn to love anyway so take things steady and who knows, we might all be buying new hats lol Most of all,enjoy the outing and the meeting.


Betty, sorry, didn't mean to shock you lol I was surprised when o.h. finished what he was doing and asked if I wanted the computer left on, so jumped at the chance lol

Love to all and hope today is a better day for you all.
Lizxxx

back again from Norfolk with yet another set of flea bites from mums house. Me and my sister both went down and although sis had seen the pictures of mums house seeing it in the flesh so to speak was a bit of a shock. We spent the morning clearing up in an attempt to find any personal papers etc. before the cleaning company comes in next week. the result was about 20 bin bags full of rubbish for half a bag of paperwork and about 15 bags of laundry.

The house is in terrible condition we opened a window and the whole thing fell out because the frame was so rotten, there was not a scrap of food in any of the cupboards but a couple of empty whiskey bottle though. and there are boxes of stuff that my sister left her to sort out when she last cleaned her house 5 years ago that have never been touched!

One of mum friend knocked on the door wanting a picture of his that she had back and he was not surprised by the state of the house yet mum thinks that none of her friends know how she lives!!

Paying for the cleaning of her house is pushing mum to her finical limits and after the placed has been clean she needs a new bed,washing machine fridge, the windows urgently need replacing and god knows when the boiler was last serviced. She needs new glasses but cant afford them needs to got the dentist but cant afford that either,yet she is dead set on going back to that house and continuing to live there on her own!

I am more and more convince that she has a narcissistic personality disorder

Am off in another 90 minutes to Amsterdam.Was up at 6am, just to make sure I have been to the loo often enough. Don't you all hate using the loo on a train.Just trying to get in there with all the 'luggage'is bad enough, but then the smell....
It is my youngest daughter Sarah's 37th birthday today, must try make it a really nice day for her.
Travelling is my middle name, not always by choice Betty.
I am gradually getting rid of lots of things, the good stuff will go to a charity recyling place.It must be a nightmare for you WN, to find your mother's house in such a state, and know it will be just as bad in a couple of months, after all your effort.

Have a good day everyone.

xx

hello everyone

I hope you are all having a better day today, I have been reading the post but can't remember all that has happened.

((((((((((((((((((((hugs for all)))))))))))))))))

and thank you for your support this past month.

Gill

Hi Gill, lovely to see you back, you have been missed.

New grandson has been having tests, as has not been well, his results are he has lactose intolerance, daughter is devastated as has to put him on formula, she loved feeding him herself, and is going to try and keep her milk until they see the specialist.

I hope every one is well, though I see dutch has a thread up for our Y/caz. Think of you Caz, wish I could take away your pain.

Gail

Thanks Gail

hope things work out for baby and his mother

take care
Gill

Whitenancy, well done for tackling that chore, you will feel better for knowing you have done what you could re personal papers etc and with your sister having seen it all too, you both know the score.
You could ask at the local council for help with the repairs, there are grants and things for elderly to get help and also look for a Homemakers or similar charity for furniture. We have them in Norwich and they are sure to be in the area you need too. Not sure if the Homemakers here is Norfolk or Norwich so they might even be able to help, also the Salvation Army might help as they do up furniture too.
Good luck, and hope things work out for her.

Gail, hope little one will be ok, sure they will sort things out and he will be fine, which is the main thing altho daughter will be disappointed, she will have done her best with the feeding.

Eileen, hope you had a safe journey.

Gill, welcome back and hope things will get better for you love.
Lizxxxx

Purple not sure if she would be entitled to any help from council as she owns the house and she has a private pension on top of her sate pension so on paper she is reasonably well off

White nancy, glad you have been able to get the personal papers sorted and also cleared some stuff out pre the professional clean.

I am sure that, even though your Mum has a private pension, there are places she can get help with bed and maybe washing machine and fridge too. There may also be some sort of help with the boiler. I know I asked this question before, not sure if you answered or not, has your Mum any connection to any of the services?

In some areas the WRVS help with furniture, in our area we have a furniture recycling project. you could also try freecycle in her area for goods. and also Social services may know where she can get help with the bed. Or Help the Aged.

another place to ask for advice is the Citizens advice bureau. There must be help out there somewhere.

Ben, hope all goes well with your meeting. good idea to take Mum along, Don't try too hard to impress, just be good friends for a while, no pressure on either of you that way.

Eileen, hope your daughter has a nice birthday and you have a nice trip to Brittany, i am sure your SiL will be fine or he would not have offered.

Gill, good to see you back on here.

Ann
Glos

my dad was in the RAF for a while and have contacted the British legion with a view to getting some financial help but so have heard nothing.

I just wish she would see that clinging on to her house just dosnt make finical sense any more, she hasnt got the money to do the necessary repairs and maintenance and its not like she is going to leave us a legacy as the house is on a lifetime mortgage and unless there is a sudden upturn in the housing market the house is worth next to nothing any if anything is likely to incur a debt rather than any profit.