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Depression / Anxiety

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Claddagh

Claddagh Report 7 Jul 2008 13:59

Thank you for your kind words Ann.Of course I will do my best to enjoy the weeks in Italy, otherwise I would spoil things for my daughter.Maybe if it was another time, when things weren't so difficult with youngest & little ones, I could relax a bit.She wanted me there today.No room at the inn at her place, due to her not having a spare room etc.Since the birth of baby Anna (Easter sunday) she has been ill twice with mastitis, baby does not feed properly at all, which is extremely worrying for all of us, cries a lot, mostly screaming really, and won't go to anyone else, so she never has a break at all.See what I mean?
Maybe my children think I have magical powers, or a magic wand.
Elaine, hope the blood test results are good for your hubby.
Deanna, do you mean to say that Allen's appointment (today) with the cardio. was cancelled? If so, how awful for both of you.
Wishing all of you who are suffering one way or another, a good day, with plenty of sunshine and without too much stress.

Eileen x

Maria

Maria Report 7 Jul 2008 14:46

Snow White

Having read your post I don't know I have any words that will help. What an awful ordeal for you to have gone through, and especially at such an early age.

I think all I can say is that I think it must be a good thing for you that you have been brave enough to face what happened & to tell your story & I sincerely hope that you will find comfort and peace and continue to build your life.

Sorry I don't know how to put it, but I wish you well. I'm sure there will be lots of support on here for you.

God Bless,

Maria x

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Jul 2008 15:18

Jeannie, well done, that was a very brave and I know hard thing for you to do. you are a good person, funny and kind and very likeable. I hope that we on here are helping you to face your depression.
Thank goodness young children no longer have to face their attackers in court but can do it via video. what an awful ordeal for you. and how sad that you were (intentionally or unintentionally) made to feel that you were to blame by your Mother.

By the way, to my knowledge you didn't upset anyone on here I am sure last week.

again, well done for telling us.
(((((hugs)))))
Ann xx
Glos

Deanna

Deanna Report 7 Jul 2008 15:50

Eileen, no.... I think this appointment is for another surgeon... so we will see what we will see, when he gets home!!
They did not put any reason for the visit on the letter. XX

Jeannie, what a dreadful experience for you.
My heart goes out to you love, but do try and talk about it.. not necessarily on the thread.... but you are COMPLETELY INNOCENT love, so if talking helps you. TALK. XX

Feeling a bot sick myself, so I'm off for a while... nerves no doubt.

love to all,
Deanna XXX

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 7 Jul 2008 15:56

Jeannie, how brave of you to tell us of your ordeal and well done to you for coping all these years despite the dreadful way this was handled, and the lack of support and care you were given.
I admire and respect you for facing up to this, it was never ever your fault. So very sad that you had your innocence and childhood stolen from you in such a despicable way, and then not to be nurtured through it by those you trusted was a double blow.
You come on here and talk to us whenever you want to or feel able to. We will all be here for you, with cyber hugs if you want to accept them
You are one brave lady.
Lizxx

Claddagh

Claddagh Report 7 Jul 2008 16:22

Jeannie, what a horrific experience you had as a child.You have managed to survive all these years with little or no support, espcially from your mother, the one person you would have expected this from.God help you.It is sickening to hear about children being abused in this way.As others say, you are very brave to speak about it openly here.Everyone on this thread is very supportive and kind, it has certainly opened my eyes at last, and enabled me to let of steam now and then,after always being used to keeping everything locked up inside.

Eileen xx

Cumbrian Caz~**~

Cumbrian Caz~**~ Report 7 Jul 2008 18:35

Hi all,

I hope you dont mind me adding, I do read this thread and think it is an amazing source of help,empathy and love. I dont read it as often as Id like but am thinking of all of you.

I had a bad day yesterday. It was anniversary of hubbies Dads death so he was understandably short with everyone.He rang his Mum in the eveniong and the conversation didnt go to well. She wants him to go to her house to talk about her will { which she has changed many times}

She said to him she dooesnt want ' her kids' { meaning my older ones} to benifit from her money. I cannot comprehend this nastiness as my parents are leaving theirs to my brother and me and we both have extended families. I just want to have a nice Mum in Law.

OH feels he doesnt want anything to do with her but his feelings are very complex and its such a touchy area, especailly as his son lives there.

Anyway, he said he was upset on the phone. She asked why and he said because its the day my Dad died Mum. She did'nt even seem to think he could be hurting.

Anyway, on the same day I put my new phone that OH had got me from army money, in the wash and wrecked it.Also I knocked the iron over and it burnt older sons arm. He was so upset as it was his young bosses funeral today.

To top it all in the evening there was an upset. Our house joins at the back to a pub. The landlord is an unpleasant bully, we had problems with him when we first moved in but have just kept our distance since. He even tried to bully my pensioner Dad.

I walked past the side glass door with our puppy. He has a very aggressive german shephard that flies at the door. I stopped for a minute as our dog did a wee. He shouted f off at me and said I was winding his dog up. I came home in tears aas I am intimidated by him, he is a very sinister person whom I think is capable of doing something bad.

My OH jumped up when I came in and flew round there. He said ' dont ever speak to my wife like that again' There was a nasty row. I got Graeme away and the bloke just sneered and kept his snarling dog infront of him like a weapon.

I just wanted to let things out. I have so many nightmares and what happened have made it worse. Sorry Ive gone on everyone,


Love to you all,


Caz xxxxx

Cumbrian Caz~**~

Cumbrian Caz~**~ Report 7 Jul 2008 18:40

Jeannie,

Please accept a huge hug from me,

You are a very brave lady and i admire you greatly for putting your awful experience on here.


Love and hugs,


Caz xxxxx

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Jul 2008 21:31

Caz, you know you are welcome to come and rant on here any time. How unpleasant your landlord neighbour is. Is he the pub owner or just the manager? If the latter you could appeal to his bosses to have a word with him.

Yesterday was definitely not a good day for you was it, hope the rest of the week improves. can you claim for your phone on your house insurance?

Best to let your MiL write your children out of her will, perhaps that will keep her quiet then when she has done it. Tell her that they will not want her money. she does sound nasty - not related to that landlord is she? Never mind Caz, tomorrow is another day. ((((hugs)))) for you.


Jeannie, Gill is not posting at the moment, she is too upset, but she wanted to send you a ((((hug)))) as she was very upset for you reading what you had been through.

Ann
Glos

Carole

Carole Report 7 Jul 2008 22:42

Snow White I was going to tell everyone about my horrible morning today, but after reading your post I am going to leave it off.

What an awful experience for you to live with. I'm so sorry you didn't get any help, but back then things were not talked about. You were expected to forget and get on with it weren't you. You have been very strong to click submit, and let us see your pain.
It wasn't your fault, I hope you can believe that, and know that. Do you still feel like that 11 year old girl in your head?
Do you live near where it happened? No wonder you find it hard to trust, things like that give us an acute sense of people, and their intentions. We anticipate what will go wrong all the time. Makes us anxious and so depressed. I don't think you can ever get "better" but with help and understanding we can
cope.

Love to you Carole xx

To everyone else I will be back later in the week if not tomorrow, but I can't get past thinking of Snow White tonight, Love to you all Carole xx

trinny292

trinny292 Report 8 Jul 2008 00:16

Hello everyone

Snow White, thankyou for sharing your past with us, it takes great courage to reveal something like that, I hope it has given you a little release for you to speak about it openly.
Sending a hug to you x

Caz it sounds like your MIL is a little bitter, my mums family is exactly the same, especially about wills and belongings, when my grandad died they didnt even wait till he had gone cold before they went raiding in his room - its disgusting! Take what she says with a pinch of salt - my mum always says "you will never miss what you never had!"
As for your landlord his behaviour is unacceptable, if he is only a manager then you could contact his brewery and report his behaviour, failing that there is always the police.

On a lighter note, i had that indian head massage today and i have got to say i would reccomend it to anyone especially if you suffer with tension headaches, its a very intense therapy but when it is over your head feels so light and clear i know the effect is only tempary but just to have a break for a couple of hours is wonderful and so worth it!

Good Night everyone
xx

RoseoftheShires

RoseoftheShires Report 8 Jul 2008 00:19

My lovely Jeannie I have pm'd you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nite nite everyone sweet dreams
Rachxxxxxxxxxx

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 8 Jul 2008 08:58

Mary Lou, I have always wondered what Indian Head Massage was like. Sounds wonderful.

Ann
Glos

Waveyone1

Waveyone1 Report 8 Jul 2008 09:42

Just just popped in to say a big Hello to everyone,got a really bad cold at the moment, not been out much........

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 8 Jul 2008 09:45

Wavey, hope your cold gets better soon. summer colds are miserable aren't they. I think colds should be banned until winter.

Ann
Glos

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 8 Jul 2008 17:03

Jeanie, I don't know if you ever saw the thread which was on here recently, about narcisstic mothers. I am sure if you haven't we can nudge it up for you, if you felt like reading it.
Well done to you for your strength and courage to live a full life and give you own family good memories.
Lizx

Carole

Carole Report 8 Jul 2008 17:26

Hi Carole,
Life is so unfair sometimes i would love to stay on and chat some more because i have so much to say and read i can sometimes read the thread but it keeps chrashing on me.
Take care Carole i will have to rob someone and get a new computer as i am lost without it now.
Bless,
Betty.
Tell everyone on our thread (or i should say your blessed thread the life saver that i was asking for and thinking about them please,
Thank you so much,
Betty.

Betty has computer problems, and has sent me the above message, which I have pasted here for you all to see on OUR thread

maxiMary

maxiMary Report 8 Jul 2008 17:28

Dear dear Jeanie:
What courage it must have taken to put your thoughts and memories down for all to see. Facing the demon in your past is so difficult, but without doing so, he continues to have a hold on your life. Now you can set him free, and live your life as you want to.
Yes our experiences contribute to the person we are today, but we can choose how high a priority they hold in our current life. We don't ever forget, just set the rotten memories to the back recesses of our minds. The perpetrator does not deserve one second of your daily thoughts.
My daughter has a similar memory, her anger has finally gone, she has returned to school as a mature student in many ways to prove to herself and others that she is worthy of self-worth, of achievement.
You also are a good person, stand tall and tell the world, I deserve to be acknowledged as a unique individual, to be loved for whom I am, despite my past experiences.
God bless,
Big [[[[[HUGS]]]]],
Mary

RoseoftheShires

RoseoftheShires Report 8 Jul 2008 18:43

Jeannie my love I would do it again and again if it helps you know that
Lots of love and hugs
Rachxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Deanna

Deanna Report 8 Jul 2008 18:53

Caz what a day you have had... I thought mine was bad, but no... yours beats mine any day!

I have only come on to see you all and tell you that Allan has to go back to see this doctor.... so one more wasted day.
His own GP knew before he referred Allan that he would have problems. AND they could have told us on the letter what it was about!

Oh I am not saying anything else... I', annoying myself with my moans....

Jeannie, and time love... that's what we are here for.
Mary.... I owe you an e-mail, and you will get it love I promise. I'm just having a nice little depression to myself if I'm honest.

Alla of you look after yourselves and I will be back.
Tonight.... EMMERDALE ;-0)

love Deanna XXXX