General Chat

Even security needs a break sometime and of course a little pleasure, be warned i'm watching and listening, oh hello were did those flowers come from they look a bit battered are they for me!!! David ( security ) Be Afraid

Good afternoon all, had I nice rest in my cabin, although smells a bit musty (or is that me??) Has any one seen my cats tess, tickles. I cant find them anywhere, has boris eaten today or would he be quite partial to tess, tickles? Lady Marmalade

Slutty Jean you are priceless. pmsl You can have Wil Smith, just wanna see the bow legs and the big smile.

Here we go again, just about to sit down for a bite to eat, and get called to the bridge. That damn Sat Nav mast is down again. Ibet by now the ship is well off course. Have to go aloft,again, with me tools, and do some screwing and bolting.

Yay finaly found that roaming croc, he was lurking outside the sluts cabin, with a huge grin on his face......what have you ladies been doing to him? As to the cats, I think I heard a meow in the hold while on my Boris hunt. Maybe you'd better go down there and have a look. Lindy, big box of stawberries, raspberries, melon and guava for you outside galley door. Im hanging on to Boris for a while so that he can recover, and he still needs a dentist. Maggie

Evening everyone, This is FAT LADY, Please, stop fooling around with Boris, whatever you all saw was not Boris as he might look like a pussy cat but is in fact very dangerous to except to myself and Maggie. I have had a busy afternoon in the galley and he has been here all the time. I am glad to see that the Madam of the Brothel has returned yesterdays dirty dishes. that is also a good sign otherwise they would not get any food. The rules are as follows and to be remembered. I am the COOK not a waitress or delivery person. BY THE ORDERS OF THE ADMIRAL.. I am in charge of the kitchen or galley and what I say and do goes for everyone, unless the Admiral says otherwise. Please keep your dirty paws away form the galley unless it is meal times and away from Boris unless you would like to be "pawless" FAT LADY COOK Dinner Menu to follow.

oops!! Maggie did not see your last reply we must have crossed lines thank you for the fruit. I shall keep Boris chained to my side..I believe that we are still waiting on a dentist and a vet. ;-))))))))))

Hey , Fat Lady, I`ve got a big drill, and some pliers, if that helps

And a huge great hammer to put him out with

Righto Capn`, all fixed, try it now.

MESSAGE FOR THE ADMIRAL Due to bad weather the chopper could not deliver the supplies, so once again I have had to make do with what we have. DINNER MENU FOR ADMIRAL DR. LEGS, DAVE THE CROC. HATER AND PAYING PASSANGERS. Cream of Parsnip soup Melon and smoked gammon Southern fried chicken (not kentucky) Mash and gravy Stewed guavas or strawberries and cream red or white wine cheese and biscuits coffee and brandy. FOR THE CREW AND THE BROTHEL Same menu except no alcohol, cheese and biscuits or guavas or strawberries. Will have to make do with fresh raspberries. FAT LADY, COOK

Baz, Please remember that what you eat comes out of my kitchen so be very careful how you treat Boris. Maggie, Make sure you take good care of Boris and keep him away from Dave and Baz.. FAT LADY COOK P.S. I don't want Boris to pick up bad habits by hanging around the brothel.

Will someone please tell me what's happening. I was skiving in a lifeboat and I've just woke up. :-o Yawwwwnnn

Security here Fix It please be careful when your screwing up the mast, don't want any misshaps, if you'll hang on i'll come and help you sort out the waste of space crocodile, i'll hold it while you donk it with your big hammer, we could pull all it's teeth out then it would'nt be dangerous, could only give a nasty suck. David ( security ) Be Afraid

I've check the hold and there is still no sign of tess, tickles. Oh my what a quandry I am in, you see they belonged to my very rich, very late husband - Lord Ivor Hugen. I made a promise that I would always look after his Tess, Tickles. I could never forgive myself if my big fluffy balls of fur have come across danger. Oh where are my pussy cats Lady Marmalade

Now all`s ok, I`ll go and get my jab I think. Just have to find my way, no ones about . What`s in here, blimey , a bar. Gonna get me a drink. Do I get a discount for being crew, ?

Blimey, where is everybody, have they all got food poisoning, or fell over board or what. ?

Might as well help myself. I`ll start with a pint first

Baz, Why don't you pop by the sluts cabin, its the bring and buy sale, everybody is here. Come and join the party bring your tools, plenty of screwing and hammering to be done.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THIS IS THE ADMIRAL SPEAKING! I have to warn you, ladies and gentlemen that we are experiencing some rather rough seas, please do not wander around the ship unecessarily you may get washed overboard. Security Guard! Ah there you are! Can you make sure that if you do give that croc. some dental treatment that he is totally knocked unconscious, we don't want him going amok! Mr FixIt!!!! You are needed in the Engine Room: they are having problems keeping the rudder on course for Cape Verde Islands. Where is he!!!! Still in the bar? Madam Anne: Just be careful what you get up to tonight: You may get more than bow legs! Has anyone seen Madame Purser? Can she please report to my cabin a.s.a.p. and where is young Daniel?