General Chat

Wendy - can I ask what stopped you drinking? Sorry about your loss. xx

Wendy in Wallasey how very honest of you to post this I admire you so very much,you are a very admirable lady god bless you! Davex

Wendy, I got to the stage where I sat on the bathroom floor with the loo one side of me and the vodka the other side , and I couldn't move from there until I managed to keep the first drink down, I couldn't get dressed, washed, eat, so my weight plummeted, and I finally accepted what I'd known for a long time, I needed help, wend xx

I'm so glad you got that help, Wendy. As Dave said, God bless you. xx

Thank you Dave. Thank you wendy xx

I have followed this thread all day with great interest, and must admit to having shed more than a few tears for you all. My Story, and dont hate me for it please! 10 years ago my brother in law met a woman with a 3 year old daughter, we never knew she had a drink prob, tho he did. As my daughter was the same age as hers we became good friends. I could see that her daughter wasnt progressing at the same pace as mine(and was severelly underweight) so i watched the family more carefully, just curiosity really but i soon realised the problem. Then brother in law started to work off shore and the daughter never went to school while he was away, so i had a word with the teachers and they said she only attended school when the new dad wasnt working and on the odd occasion when she did attend they sometimes had to phone the mother to come and get her at the end of the day. To cut a long story short, i threatened the mother with social services, i thought this would sober her up. It didnt and when the child set a fire and was trapped in the house at age 5, with the mother in a drunken sleep upstairs, i felt i had no other option but to get onto social services. It was a slow process and the daughter was taken into care, but today the child is a happy 14 yr old living with her birth fathers rellies and the mother was buried 3 years ago. Not before giving birth to a baby boy who was born addicted to alcohol at birth and now has severe mental and physical disabilities, now living with brother in law. I am still having trouble (8 years later) forgiving myself for intervening, i wish i hadnt!! Now thats my story and it has broken my heart again telling you guys but i just had too. Karen

Nobody hates you for it Karen I believe you did what was needed and first of all we must always make sure that children are safe and that is what you did and it was neccessary. I certainly dont think you should be questioning yourself after 8 years Karen you did exactly the right thing and that is the action I myself would have taken.! Davex

Karen - you probably saved that child's life - never feel guilty for that !! xx

Thank you Dave I kinda know i did the right thing, but when i see the devastation caused by her ( and my) actions i find it hard to live with my conscience. Maybe i could have gone about it a different way. Oh by the way she beat the living whatsit out of me when she found it was me who startred the ball rolling! Karen

You certainly did do the right thing karen, children need people like you to look out for them. I've lived with alcholics as well as being one, and i've seen what effects it has on others, especially kids, through drinking 'buddies' and the way they treated their children. I used to try and stay sober when i knew one friend in particular would be meeting us cos i knew she'd have the twins with her, my drinking wasnt as much of a problem at that time, so i could take the kids home and feed them and put them to bed in mine, it would be days sometimes before she picked them up. GOOD FOR YOU, wend xx

Bless you all, but what if it had been your family that i had ruined??? I am not proud of what i did!! I am trying to apologise!! Karen

karen,you saved that child's life.....thank you!! bryan.

You didn't ruin anyone's family, Karen - the mother managed that on her own. You don't need anyone's forgiveness, just to come to terms with it all. You gave that child the gift of a future full of hope - that was a wonderful thing to do.

Karen You have no need to apologise to any family you did what any nice caring person who cares about children would do! and anybody who thinks about it would have done the same. Davex

IF i ever start drinking again and didnt put my own kids in care myself, I hope to god that there is someone like you nearby karen, you did what you thought was right, the child concerned will know that in her heart, her mother probably did on her rare lucid moments, dont beat yourself up for it babe, its done now and as has been said, the child is probably only alive because of it

Thank You All, I needed forgiveness from someone who's family had been in that situation! Karen PS I updated my message as i hadnt put the final point across as well as i could have!

I applaud you Karen you did what you had to do for the sake of the child. You saved her future. If only everyone was so brave. Jan :-))

i have to agree my uncle is an acholic and he lives with my nan who is 88 he is suppose to look after her but how can he do that when he is drunk all the time he never cooks for her just buys takeaway which she cant stand there is never any food in ,she has gone days without a drink of tea but my nan wont have a bad word said against him

Bryan From Cilfrew Your very wise but alas... tomorrow never comes.

Some thought provoking replies. Wendy how brave of you to admit to your problem when there are so many stories on here against alcoholics. A couple of people made me wonder about my own Dad. I would never have had him down as an alcoholic but he did go out every Friday night, Staurday night, Sunday lunchtime and Sunday night. Often coming back very drunk. He did cause scenes especially Sunday lunchtimes. If we hadn't eaten dinner and were waiitng for him, we shouldn't. If we had eaten we shouldn't have done. I remember lots of dinners up the wall. I also remeber the first Christmas I was with my husband, my then boyfriend and I turned down an invite for Christmas Day so I could be with my dad. He arrived home at 4am, fell near the house and cut his head and spent all day Christmas in bed nursing a hangover. I moved out that year. I do drink, but for many years I was very wary of my Father in Law if he had a drink and it took a long time before realising he was funny when tipsy, not nasty. I only experienced the tip of the iceberg compared to the many on here and I wonder how come you have all come through so sane!! How many of you have been to GR meets and found it uncomfortable with others drinking? I bet many, like myself, would never have thought of things like that. Take care all of you. Jacky xx