General Chat

*In radio room, faint voice* mayday........... mayday help.........help......... There's an enormous whirlpool. We are heading for the centre............ no.... wait..... There's a gigantic waterspout.......it's sucking us up........... no down.....up,,,,,,down The ship's breaking apart........up, up........ up wait........there's some kind of forcefield........ HEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP *Sinister voiceover.......... Join us for the next cruise, somewhere in Outer Space perhaps??????*

***Shakes Woman with the Aussie accent**** Wake Up!!! For heavens sake you have been sozzled for days now. I haven't been able to get much sense out of you for all that time. You slept through Christmas. As you can see the bar supplies are pretty low. I don't know who's to blame. You are all as bad as one another. That Black Widow and the one with the red high heels (well, high heel realy as she has been limping around with just one) they know how to tie one on! And where is that Dr. when he is most needed for hangover cures? I must get hold of the Admiral to make sure she orders more supplies for our New Years Eve Bash. ***Struts off to have a massage and pedicure****** Prescilla

***Fresh from morning massage, eating a room service meal of lox and cream cheese (low fat of course) on a multi grain bagel.*** Before my nap, I must leave a note for Admiral Dorothy. Dear Admiral. It appears that we went into a time warp over Christmas. The 'Triangle' is known for such happenings. I have come out of it, but I can't vouch for other guests or crew members. There was some woman (with an Ozzie accent, I didn't see what she looked like), making announcements on the PA system that we were in a whirlpool. Too much vodka I say. As our Christmas was non existant, I feel that we should make up for the festivities that we missed. I am asking, as a guest of the Utopia ,that we hold a New Years Eve Party. If we can wake everyone from their 'Triangle' sleep, and maybe pick up some new crew members and guests before the 31st, I'm sure that a good time will be had. It would be nice if 'Fat Lady Cook' from previous cruises could make it onboard to serve up the best meal on the High Seas. Looking forward to your reply. Prescilla Goodyear - Deluxe Cabin

Gradually opening her eyes, with great difficulty...... and looking around - rubs eyes and then lies back again ..... thinking, what ? where? there was this lovely place with ...... god-like men and ..... and yet, here I am lying in the penthouse ....... Gradually getting off sofa - she glances in the mirror - phew, shouldn't have done that!! Coffee, that's what I need, and perhaps a croissant - amazingly hungry! What happened on Christmas Eve? Funny, I don't remember Christmas Day!!! Goes to internal phone, and then sees paper lying just inside the doorway - Reading it as she walks back across the room, she sits down with a bump on the sofa ...... What the h------ ?

*** Awakens in the Lap Of Luxury*** Ah, New Years Eve apparently. Who knows on this cruise! Who know's what day it is? I heard screams coming from the Admirals cabin, I wonder what that was all about? ** Reading the 'Daily Events', that was shoved under the door during the night***** *New Years Eve Gala Party Cocktails 8pm Dinner 9pm Dancing 11pm * Off to have my hair done. I hope that maid, Joy I think her name is, learns how to do Hospital Corners. Prescilla

Bumping up for the sequil 2006! Deb ** please resume your positions - new crew needed**

Ooops. My messages from here have gone in one of my mass thread purges. Put me down for an outside cabin. Gwynne

** Puts her down for an outside cabin. Wonder if she can pay for it?** Deb

Ok, get my 'Private Cabin' ready and I'll come aboard in a couple of hours. Oh and can you send someone down for my medical bags please, 'I'm 52yrs and 1 day now you know' achey legs and all that. Dr Longlegs MD ME.

*opens mini bar* Where is the steward to unpack my extensive luggage for me? Gwynne

****taps right foot in my anti slip shoes for the kitchen*** Geez! I'm the lowly peon cook, yet, non of the senior management are to be found. Sleeping off the Christmas beverages no doubt! Deb (Sassy)

Bumping for the day crew. Please report to the staff desk on the other thread. Deb (Sassy)

In the Admirals State Room ''Waking from a deep, deep slumber......'' That's odd, I could have sworn I heard that sassy cook!!! and (thinks......) there was that strumpet Gwynne, I wonder if she's still staggering around in her red stillettos ..... hmmm, got varicose veins by now I'll bet!! (Pushing back the fake fur quilt) - ooooh, I wonder where we are, and what day it is? I'll have a look around on the penthouse deck, before going below, I bet it's bedlam down there - more like the Marie Celeste than a SS Utopia Luxury Cruise!!! Hopefully Dr Longlegs will be around keeping things in order, but not much hope of that ..........

'Ahoy there Captain! --oops sorry 'Admiral'. I've been wandering around this ship for a couple of days by myself. The Doc was here, then she mentioned something about going to get something to prick something or other - you know what she's like, talks in rhymes that one does. And, I can't remember the name of that other one, you know her, fur coat and no knickers, and red high heels, she was going on about the mini bar being restocked. Do I look like a bar steward to you? Just looking for that Fat Lady Cook.........you know what she's like......no fun without Punch. I'll just get on with ordering supples, although its HER job. When will we be pushing off then Captain -- ooops sorry 'Admiral' and where will the winds take us this year? Sassy

Dr. Longlegs is now on duty. But not too sure if I will be needed until I can see what Riff Raff is boarding. New rules WILL have to be made, as there is now a different class of folks around, and still strangers to a lot of us old shipmates. So I do now have newly developed Serums. There will still be the usual anti VD jabs available, but I have now added, Bird Flu, The Morning After Pill and my newly patented Cuckoo Fever Jab. The 'Morning after Pill' is available for all those who disgrace themselves the night previously. Anything they say the night previously will be forgotten as long as they take the serum before 9am the next morning. My new Cuckoo Fever Jab WILL be given to anyone who causes unrest or upsets anyone onboard the SS Utopia. They will be thrown overboard and no member of GR will attempt to save them. Lol. But of course all my Serums will involve a 'little prick' So if any of my past nurses can join me I would be very grateful. Gladys Emanuel, where are you???? Dr. Longlegs. MD. ME.

So 'Black Widow' is about and about to board. Dr longlegs will soon cure all her ill's. Then she can run around spreading her web. DR Longlegs MD ME

Please i dont want a cabin near Guinereve... * whispers I want abetter one please *

bumping for the day 'crew' Deb

'Where's the Admiral, Where's the Admiral' A little bird has told me we are to expect a PIRATE ON BOARD, WITH ONLY ONE EYE, AND A PARROT ON THEIR SHOULDER. We will need an Optition, I dont do eyes I'm afraid. So glad I have my anti Bird Flu Serum. Now everyone will have to report to me on boarding for their little prick. I anticipate setting sail at the stroke of midnight, 31st December 2007. PS. Am I the Pursor again this year??? Dr Longlegs MD ME.

OH MY GAWD, I'M GONNA JUMP SHIP ALREADY. JACK TRELAWNEY, AKA PIPS XX