General Chat

***Walks into dining room surrounded in a mist of 'Estee Lauder-Pleasures***** I see that I am one of the first to arrive, at least I have my choice of tables. The one by the piano bar looks good. I'll ask the Head Waiter to invite the poor girl with the cast to join me. Now where is that Wine Steward? I do hope that that handsome young man is around tonight. .

*wheels herself over to the woman who smells stongly/stinks of perfume...* 'Hello there... I'm Tequila the Trapeeze Artiste... you are?'

Hello Dear! - I'm pleased to meet you, Miss..erm..Tequila. Do have a seat. May I introduce myself, my name is Priscilla Goodyear. .. No.....unfortunatly ....no connection with 'The' Goodyears'. Now young lady tell me exactly what it is that you do, and how you got that cast on your leg. Waiter! - a bottle of Dom for me and my new friend here............

Good god! That womans got the same dress on as me....how dare she wear this black number! tuts loudly. Still, her rocks arent so grand as mine and im wearing 'Angel'.....none of that cheap stuff!! Struts off to change into a red number!

Head of security thinks i've walked every deck and all i have seen is water leaking all over the place, empty bottles and glasses all over the place and a six inch red shoe heel, 'thinks' someone is staggering about a bit one sided, no sign of a crocodle thankfully, hallo what have we here?? a red light Mmmm looks like a brothel, goes off chuckling, that could'nt be on a posh ship like this, mind it stinks like a brothel, better go up to the penthouse and inform the lovely admiral of my findings, we can have a canodllllllll erm i mean a drink, off he goes whistling merrily with a spring in his step, Head of security David

Was that that cheap trollop that I saw yesterday? Yes, thats her! Wearing an imitation Vera Wang - can't afford the real thing like I can! Where did she go? Left in embarrassement no doubt. I don't know how long I can keep up with the charade of me NOT being one of 'The 'Goodyears' Ahh- I love the smell of rubber..... **spys a man walking past the dining room window***

Whooooooo look what I have found a door with a bright red light over Hi ladies is the light for any specail reason or must I go in to fined out whispers dont tell the black widow where i am going x

*Penthouse* Having eaten an excellent supper in her Stateroom, she is looking at the Navigation Routes to Bermuda. Mmmm, yes, yes, ah! We could call at the Azores perhaps, let the passengers and crew have a few hours there, and then on a South Westerly towards Bermuda. (She takes a sip of the excellent Chardonnay) Right, now I must speak with the Captain - I wonder who that is this trip? Providing that everything is in order, we should be able to sail almost immediately, she glances at her Louis Vuitton watch, (such an elegant time piece) and walks over to the Tannoy link. Quite the easiest way to reach everyone on board, I fear, will be to use this - although I really would have liked to meet everyone personally...... (ah well, one day, she hopes that can happen!) I hope that Mommylonglegs, the Doctor/Purser is up to date on everyone's vaccinations - especially that questionable lot of girls with Madam Jean.... Right now! TANNOY Good Evening everyone. Welcome Aboard!!! I have to say how delighted I am to be able to say that to so many friends. I do hope you will all enjoy this Cruise. Once I have spoken to the Captain (don't know the name yet!), then we shall set sail and should reach our first Port of call very shortlly. Please make sure that your name as Passenger or Crew is logged. Security Guard David has just left me, assuring me that the Ship is in very good order and well stocked and totally secure - although I understand that one of you may be hiding a pet Crocodile, which he has been unable to find so far - but I don't think that is any cause for concern. I am going to the Captain's cabin now, and hope to meet you all later.

Returns to bar in a hot red number.............*thinks* He thinks i dont know where he's gone...........all those husseys!! tuts, he will return......oh hello young man.......yes id lovea dwinky

Just look at her! I see that she has changed into her 'K Mart, blue light special' dress. Mutton dressed up as lamb.... I suppose that I should invite her to my table. Matrede, could you please ask that (cough) young woman if she would like to join me for a drink. And while you are at it, ask that muscular young man if he would like another Drambuie! ***puffs up hair and fixes lipstick in anticipation***

She wants me to what!!!! Oh lord, if i must........struts over to table

Is there a Dr on board? I am so sorry shipmates, but I have not been too well today. Have been rather sick since just after 5am this morning. Dont seem to be able to hold anything down, tea or toast. Perhaps once Utopia sets sail, and we are in much calmer waters, all will be well. ' I hope' Just wish the 'sick bag giver' was around. From a very pale and weak Dr longlegs. MD .ME.

Dr Ron here

Welcome Dr. Ron! Do you think that you can fill the post of Ships doctor until Mommy is better?

I think i can do that for you. And i may enjoy this. lol

Strump i'll be your toyboy. lol

*Penthouse* Looking at note she has just received. Oh, dear,poor Mommylonglegs. If I'd realised that ..... picks up inter-deck phone Yes, Is that the Bar? it's the Admiral here. Please send down a bottle of the best Brandy to the Purser's cabin with my compliments. Yes, straight away please. Thank you. Now I wonder, who is this Dr. Ron who's come on board? I hope his quaifications are in order! I think I'll have a quiet word with Security Guard David, to watch out for him. (Feels the ship is now moving) Good, seems we are on our way, hopefully it will be a quiet, pleasant overnight cruise, because I think I must have an early night.

Dr Ron Has been a Dr for the last 22 years and has a first class record.

Spots the Dr.....oh heaven!! All mine me thinks!!

Dr see's strump and thinks Nice Dawn I am a Dr of Gynaecology. lol Nooooooooooo I am a brain surgeon. no i forgot. lol