General Chat

*stomps off.... * 'Just because I drink Power Shandies that doesn't make me a sozzler....'

Gwynne, have you got the map?? Here is a list of our old crew. Please let us know asap if you are able to make the voyage. Dorothy G The Boss. Mommylonglegs the Doctor and Purser. Joanne Prior The Cook. Ann Lynda Charles Madam in the Brothel. Gwynneth Teacher and Dir. of Panto. John with the compass points Dr's Locum. Daniel Longman, self appointed King?????? Bryan from Cilfrew Nurse Gladys Emanuel. Terri from London Incognito. David Beard Security Guard. Wendy Wrigley Embroiderer. Judith by the seaside Surfer. Jean Hindmarsh Bouy's Carer. Marion from Merseyside Lazy Buggar. Chrissie Smith Manicurist/Pedicurist. Valley from Yorkshire. Ship's Physic. Angela in Kent Quartermaster. Elaine Farrence Sick bag giver. Gwynneth Teacher. Gillian from Eccles Trolly Dolly. Liz Cornish Reception /Bar work. Jill Price. Divvy Viagra Controller. Elaine in reading Paying Passenger. Strump. Black Widow. Joy Kentish Maid. ??? Ann Lazenby Nurse. Melanie Dunn Pole Dancer. PMPL. Just reading through the copy of the old thread. How i wish we were all still around. David, can you remember putting the rolled up magazine down your underpants, ready for your little prick. Obviously loads of are no longer members. So if you could all let us know if you have changed your name or profession, better still announce you you are going to be. Ship's Purser. Dr. Longlegs MD.ME.

Jenny, I'm handing over the ropes to you (if you don't mind), time difference and all that. I have just won the lottery, so I will be a pampered guest for this voyage! Deb (aka Sassy - Assistant Cook)

Hi Gwynne, Deb. 'Sassy, please get back in that kitchen, we need you' Cannot hold the ropes for too long, thats Dorothy's job. I am away Saturday for four days. Will concentrate on getting new passenger list drawn up. Then get my old back bag and start handing out the anti VD Serum amongst other little treats. I hear there is a new strain of 'Bird Flu' about, Women are carriers, but only men can catch it. BRB. Son want me to cut his sausage up. Lol. Jenny.

Elaine, can I put you down for Bar Person then? You will be in charge of all the stock, and use your discretion as to who you serve. If a Lady comes in asking for lambrini, you will have to decide if she has already had a few in her cabin though. Sometimes she carries a bucket. Jenny x

New passenger list will be posted on this thread soon. Will add to it as crew and passengers enlist. Dr Longlegs/ Purser.

Pacing the decks searching in all the life boats and likely hiding places for stowaways and creepy creatures and crocodiles, being careful not to bend over in case the Dr is around, i'm sure those needles have been used more than once, must pop off for something to eat, must be ready for sailing time 21-00hrs. Head of security David

New Crew and Passenger List. Crew. Dorothy. The Admiral. David Beard. Head of Security. Becs. Entertainments Manager. Jean Fairy Queen. Madam. Elaine Red Red Robin.I Love Arsenal. Head of Bar. Mommylonglegs. Doctor and Ships Purser. Passengers. Strump. Black Widow. Gwynne. Deb from Vancouver. Lady of Leisure. Howie. Yvonne from OZ.

***Saunters around ther 1st class cabin with a large Drambuie in hand*** Well, not long now until we set sail. I wonder what happened to that woman with the gaudy red shoes? I can see there are a lot of riff raff on this voyage. And what on earth was that young woman with big (cough) baubles doing with her leg in a cast? I must go and change for the Bon Voyage party. ****pours another drink and heads to the 'head' *****

* a slightly familiar figure in grey striped buisness suit, arrives on board, complete with Gucci briefcase* Cruise, just what i need over xmas, now that i no longer have to work it! now wheres the staff???

*Black Widows Cabin* Perhaps too much champers for me......just rest my head here......oh blinky hell, its the loo.....oh well, no one will know. (been asleep in real, going to bed now)

Nudging for Jo. Jenny xx

*Cabin* Changes into clean dry clothes and sits and thinks. Turns down intercom. Not sure about this cruise - someone definitely pushed me into that pool. Thinks about the two women she has already met. Smiles to self - I'll call one the 'black widow' and the other a 'red back' - chuckles at private joke. Goes out in search of food.

*Black Widows Cabin* I didnt sleep in here all night did i? *Tries to clamber up, puts hand on flush.Pulls the toilet over on its side.The En-Suite is now covered in water.* Noooooo!!, oh ek, when i fell i must have damaged the loo..oh god what to do? Im soaked, look at me hair!!!!!!! My heads thumping as well...ok get a grip woman....pads into bedroom, dries down.....clothes....track suit, that'll do. Hmmm, hair? Tie it back.....no one will know its me, i'll go and find a nice young man to help me out and god i must find some food! *Leaves her cabin in search of help and food*

*Penthouse* Sitting on sofa looking at list that Dr. Longlegs has put under door. Leaning back she smiles to herself at the names - nice to see so many famliar names. Stifling a yawn, (it was a very good dinner last night, but very late when she got to bed). Oh, I see that Deb has decided she is a Luxury passenger, well what about .......... (she runs down the list)...... Me! as Admiral? But I thought ........ oh, and Mommylonglegs IS the Purser, well that's good, hmph, so much for my semi retirement eh! W-e-l-l, must admit I'm thrilled to be asked, but I had reckoned on just relaxing - but, oh heck, I've relaxed all Summer, so ....... now then. Firstly I must go and thank everyone for their confidence in me - but before I do that, I'd better get the Navigation Routes out of the Ship's Lockers ...... I guess the keys are on the Bridge? Gosh, this is going to be fun I hope!! Getting up and straightening her skirt, a quick look in the mirror, she leaves the Penthouse.

Oh where am I the last I remember was drinking with Black widow and now she has flooded the cabin the tiolet is wrecked I must go and find some where else to sleep for now oh my head strump where are you and what was we drinking this is going to be some cruise Howiexxx

*Dryer Cabin* What a nice young man he was.....he didnt moan once moving all my trunks.....hmmm, maybe i did bring too many clothes? Oh well! Right, this little black number should impress Howie. Leaves the cabin and makes haste for the bar!

*wheels herself into the room (thanks to whoever exaggerated her injury and gave her a cast)*

***wakes up in cabin**** Oh My! My head is killing me. Oh, I can see why (eyes the empty bottle of Drambuie). All was well until that handsome, muscular, bronzed, nice eyed man with a large spanner knocked on the door asking if I had a problem with my water. Apparently some fool had managed to pull the toilet off the wall. I offered him a drink, then showed him my plumbing. ***Announcement over PA, 'Dinner will be served in the Grand Dining Lounge at 8pm'**** I'd better get my face on. I think that this little black number will impress.

~In her cabin~ 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Can't find anything to wear that'll go with my cast!' *Kicks wall and possibly breaks other ankle!* 'OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW'