General Chat

i had my 1st son when i was 17,and unmarried!! i got married at 19,(i was 6mths pregnant). by the time i was 23 i had 4 children.i wouldnt change a thing. i would do exactly the same again if i lived my life over. my eldest son got married 2 months after his eldest son was born. my daughter and my youngest son have 2 children each and neither are married. they are so happy with their partners and the children are well behaved and wonderful. sorry lucia but i think you have got to start living in the real world hun lol susie

i actually spoke to my mum about this, cos she waited until she married my dad, i said do you think i should wait, and she said its not worth the bother to wait!! lol so i didnt, and cor am i glad i didnt LOL xxx

My goodness YES !!!! I'd still be a virgin otherwise lol

yes and No!! If your in a loving relationship;yes I dont however believe in casual sex.

If I remember rightly (and its a long time ago - 38 years) but I didnt have time for sex befoe marriage - too busy having me hair done, getting dressed, getting flowers etc - lol lol lol Jacqui

Marriage as we know it now did not exist in biblical times. I think the Bible advises against sex outside of a loving relationship, which I would agree with. You do not need to be married to have a secure and loving relationship. I am illegitimate and was given up for adoption due to the prejudices in the sixties even though my birth parents were in a steady relationship, which continued for 3 years after I went. I cannot say I am sorry now, as I have a wonderful life, but the adoption has had a massive effect on my life, as well as the lives of my birth parents and, to a lesser degree, their families. It is ignorance and prejudice that I believe to be wrong. Liz x

Couples who do not live together before marriage, are more likely to stay together. Couples who do live together are more likely to break up. This is statistics. I'm a 66 year old virgin, and I am quite happy about this. I certainly have had a happy life. When I've gone for medics, I've always been asked if I have any chiildren, and my stock answer is 'No, I never married'. Only once has anyone said that I don't need to be married, to which I replied 'I do'. Anne

you know what they say Lies, Damn lies, and statistics.

missed all this last night, and to be honest I think some of the replies have been flippant & possibly intended to be provokative. First, I agree there is too much casual sex, and children are encouraged to indulge (if thats the right word) far too young. I remember discussing this with an 18 year-old work mate who'd just lost her virginity 'because she felt she was missing out on something' She was very disappointed & wondered what all the fuss was about. At the time I was in my twenties and very happily married. Sex is far more fulfilling when you are in a truly loving relationship. As I see it, its far too easy to mistake 'lust' for 'love' when you are young. Sex gets in the way, and you think you're in love when its just pure lust. No wonder there are so many broken relationships. I'm old fashioned enough to see marriage as a sign of commitment, but I don't hold it against anyone who choses not to marry, or have children when they are not married. Its the quality of the commitment to each other that really matters. The issue of teenage pregnancies is a separate matter, agree with Fred some do it deliberately, not out of ignorance. There are massive social issues here that no-one seems to want to address.

yes i do. I think its a perfectly natural thing to want to do and is up to people whether they want to before marriage or not. What about people who never marry - are they not entitled to a sex life? That said if you dont want to then its entirely up to you

I think it is up to the individual to make up their own mind. Lucia, Just want to say what a lovely young woman you are. You have views that a lot of people disagree with but you are not afraid to voice your opinions. I notice a lot of people on your threads have said, quite patronisingly, you are young and your views will alter as you get older and see more of life. Maybe they will and maybe they won't.......but I do admire your honesty. Stay with your beliefs whatever they are. Jean x.

Jean, I agree with what you're saying, apart from the partonising bit. I do think its a fact that our views on life change as we get older, as we see more of life and have our own experiences. I don't think its patronising to say that. Paul

Not to put too fine a point on it Paul you are not 17. Just because your views changed as you got older and lived life it doesn't necessarily mean Lucia's will. I think it is patronising to tell any 17 year old that their views will change..... you are in fact telling them that what they hold dear at that age is inconsequential because as they get older their opinions will change. Not looking for an argument... just voicing an opinion. Jean.

i hope i didnt sound patronising cos that wasn't my intention its just that i feel as though maybe in a few years time lucia will have a different opinion. as my dr told me when i got pregnant at 17yrs old'its the good ones that get caught'. the ones that do it for fun or pleasure are more careful lol work that out if you can lol. i was in a relationship for 2yrs and thought it would last.how wrong was i!!! as soon as got pregnant his feet didnt touch the ground lol luckily for me,i found someone who accepted my son and we have been happily married for nearly 28yrs now. susie

Jean, Glad you aren't looking for an arguement, as you aren't going to get one from me lol I'm sorry if you think what I, and other said was patronising. That wasn't the intention. I stand by my opinion though. I'm not saying her view is wrong. I do think its likely to alter. Just my opinion. Paul

Lucia, Did I believe in sex before marriage when I was a teenager? No - and this was the very permissive 70's so I was way out of line with the popular opinions of my time! Do I still hold the same opinion now? (40 years later) Yes If something happened to my hubby would I still have the same opinion? Yes. Worked for me :) Vonny

Hello Lucia I have 4 children all born out of wedlock, ( to the same man who i have been with for 14 yrs), I dont have loose morals. x karen PS Obviously I do believe in sex before marriage

i have 3 children 2 born out of wedlock all 3 have the same dad and yes i did finally marry him Dawn

some of the attitudes and opinions on this thread really astound me...........how can someone at 17 say those things and that there views will never change?? i think majority of all little girls want to meet a handsome man fall in love and get married and have children, but views and circumstances do change.

I know it's perhaps irrelevant, but I think she's 16 lol