General Chat

Sorry for my rudeness for going yesterday but I became so overcome by the kindness of you all and the lovely messages, I was sobbing so much and couldn't carry on.

When I find the courage, I intend sorting Wendy's photos from birth until the last one ever taken when we were visiting them last August. That is of my husband, me, the three boys and Wendy, sitting on a log bench in a wildlife park close to where she lived in Staffordshire (it's a smashing photo). I like the idea suggested about the scrapbook and stories of her life, I shall do that as well, there is so much to tell, the boys can keep that for ever and pass it onto their children.

Wendy never put lids on properly, you needed to be very careful in her house. One day my husband went to make a glass of Rybena, shook the bottle and ended up covered in blackcurrent, it was all over the walls, the cupboards and the floor. Wendy laughed and laughed and laughed, she thoought it was hilarious. Another time, she was showing me a drinking mug for toddlers where the drink did not come out of the holes when tipped upside down. To demonstrate, she held it over my head, the lid fell off and the contents went all over me. That got the same response as the blackcurrant. I have a smile on my face at those memories.

It seems cruel that Wendy has gone so young, in the 200+ years I have researched, most of the females lived to a very old age, my mother was almost 93 yoa when she died in 2005. Still I can't blame God for wanting Wendy back, He only loans our children to us, their lives belong to Him and she really was special.

Sorry I have gone on, I just find it easier to write than to talk.

Thank you all so, so much for your loving messages and prayers, also the pm's, it is helpful to share.

Next time you see a yellow rose, please think of Wendy they were favourites and mine.

God Bless You All...............love Pat

Pat, go on all you like. There is always someone here at all times. If it is easier to write your feelings down on here then go ahead. Bless you all, can only imagine what you are going through.
Hilary. xxx
PS The Ribena brought a smile to my face, I remember my husband shaking a bottle of tomato sauce at the breakfast table in a hotel & the top was'nt on tight. Splattered all up the wall, over next doors table & I had a red streak across my hair. Can giggle about it now but could have killed him at the time.

Pat,

The times you have described will have brought a smile to all those reading about them. We will think of you each time we open a bottle of Ribena or see a toddler with a non-spill cup.

Treasure those funny moments. They are the ones to bring happy memories, and will dull the terrible grief you are feeling just now.

Bless you all.

Elisabeth
x

Awww, Pat......tip the Ribeena over everyones head, when you you feel like!!!

Just got in and saw your thread Pat, have read other people's condolances and would like to add mine, with love and prayers for you and yours.

Pat
You talk as much as you like, people on here are so friendly willing to listen.

Sue..xxxxx

Yellow roses were mine and Stephens flowers,
I will now think of Wendy each time I take Stephen some, bless you XX..

as sue says, talk as much as you want,
Thats if you can get a word in!!!
xxxxxx

sorry to hear this Pat, she sounded a very special daughter the ribena and the cup made me laugh.

sending you positive thoughts and wishes,I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
c
xx

Pat, I am so very, very sorry. No one should have to suffer the terrible pain of losing a child.

You will find friends here, believe me, please keep posting people here really care,

Angels sing your lass to her rest and give you all peace,

Caz xxxxx

Hey Mum,

I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. It's nice that people care so much, even though they didn't know my sister.

If you were to believe the newspapers, you'd think there was so much badness in the world. It's not true.

Most people are good, as has been demonstrated by this thread, and just want themselves and everyone else to be happy. It's heart warming that people have taken the time to write.

Thank you all.

Paul

You're very welcome Paul.

There are some lovely people on here who will help all they can.

Look after your mum.

Paul ,I take it you are Wendy's Brother.How good of you to pop on here.So sorry you have lost your sister,I can't imagine how you must be feeling.It sounds like you have a lovely family.Chin up ,remember the good and the funny times.There is always someone on here for your mum or you .
Take care now.
Helen xx

agree with helen, your sister sounded lovely, you must miss her so much and I can't imagine how you all must be feeling
take care paul and my thoughts with you all
catherine
xx

To Paul and Pat,
My heart goes out to you and your family at this very sad time.
The only thing I can say is that remembe all the good times, and tell her boys that she loved them, and give them as much family history so that they know where they came from.
God bless wendy rest in peace.

Dear Paul,
I understand your pain and shock, all I can say is take heart from your Mum as she surely will from you, bless you both, you have my heart felt love, remember the good times, and I know that sounds corny, but it helps, eventually, bless you Paul and your Mum XX..

Pat

I really do feel for you, i cannot possibly imagine the pain of losing a child no matter how old they are. My heart really does go out to you. I can only imagine what you have to endure on a day to day basis and to not know what she died of must only add to the pain.

I lost my father 2 years ago on armestice day and still find it hard to come to terms with. There isn't a day that goes by that i wish with every bone in my body he was here with me.

Its sounds like you have a loving and supportive family and thats a great help.

You talk all you like if it helps.

God bless and take care

Deb
XXX

Your more than welcome Paul, how are you coping?

I'm trying to get life back to normal, which is in some way, all too easy. If that makes sense.

We all have enough to worry about at the moment with the credit crunch and stuff which seems to distract from the mourning. Not sure if this is good or bad. Being distressed about one thing to take your mind off another.

Probably better to remember the good times. And have another glass of wine. Time for bed I think.

Thanks again.

Paul x

Paul, my sympathy to you and all your family as you learn to live without Wendy in your lives.
I wanted to mention another little memory aid for the children that would be nice in a memory box especially for the two older boys who will be moving from the familiarity of the house they shared with their Mum and stepdad. If Wendy had a favourite perfume or talc, whatever, it would be nice to put some on a pretty handkerchief or scarf of Wendy's so the boys can smell it sometimes, it will keep her feeling close to them. In fact it would be good for the two older lads to have several things of their Mum's in a box to take out and touch when they are away from their little brother, and maybe he would like to give them something to take with them of his too, to keep the link going while they have to live apart. It will be so hard for them, having to leave their school, friends and familiar surroundings for their Dad's home, altho being nearer you Pat, will be a help to you all I am sure.
Maybe a little notebook for them each and the younger lad, so you can write anecdotes in like the ribena and cup ones, and they can write their own in as they come to them, and his Daddy can write them in for the little lad. It is always better for people to talk about their lost loved ones if possible.
I think it has a lot to do with the way my o.h. is, his Mum died when he was 18 and it wasn't till he asked his dad recently what she died of that he really knew. His dad is the sort of person where out of sight is out of mind, his attitude was he didn't need a grave to remember her, but he married again only a couple of years later, and my o.h. didn't get to talk much about his Mum or even have photos of her, his father kept everything and got rid of lots of stuff, so o.h. barely has any memories.
Much better to keep talking about the person gone before, when the children want to than bottle things up inside.

My thoughts will be with you all, a hard time ahead but you will get through because you all care about each other and you know Wendy would want you to be happy as well as miss her.

Lizx