General Chat

Pat, You have been very brave to express your inner emotions on these boards, I would like to offer you and your family my deepest sympathy at this sad time for you all, And as many of the members have said there are alway's people on here who will listen and offer comfort when needed.
Thoughts and prayers for Wendy God bless you all.
Dave.

So sorry to hear this Wendy, but keep writing, I'm sure it must help just to 'let it all out'. I'll be thinking of you and your grandsons...though they've lost their Mum they are very lucky they've still got you.
x

My deepest sympathy to you and those boys. Also to Wendy's husband.
I wish I could say something to make it a little easier, but, of course no one can at the moment.
Please post as often as you need. There are many people on here who want to listen and help however they can.
x

My thoughts are with you Pat, please accept my deepest sympathy

Tina x

Such a tragedy and hard to cope with especially so suddenly with no warning, Those poor boys and especially the little one - he has lost his mum and separated from his big brothers. Thoughtst and prayers go to all of you and may you have the strength to support your g.sons.

Pat, I am so sorry to read this, how heartbroken you must be and still in shock too, no doubt, so please if you haven't already, see your doctor and get any help he suggests, also talk to us whenever you feel like opening up, I am usually around at night if you find you can't sleep and want some company by pm or on here. Don't try to put on a brave face with Wendy's sons, they need to know it is ok to cry but also to laugh, tell them funny little anecdotes about their Mummy when she was small etc, so they have lots more memories and things to think about. I love the idea of a scrapbook or memory box for them too, it will help lots. There are places you can contact for help with bereavement so why not ask the Samaritans, they are sure to know where you can go or contact, and also talk to them if you feel the need too.
In Norfolk there is something called Nelson's Journey, which helps bereaved children - have a look at the site, as the people who started this did so because of two little girls whose Mummy died in a similar way to Wendy. There are sure to be many other similar set ups across the country, and you might find one that the children can go to later on and get help to accept what has happened. They will be your mainstay in going on in future, without your lovely daughter beside you but always in your heart and mind. Such an unfair thing to cope with but life is unfair, we see so all the time, when good people are taken and evil ones sail through life.
I know the pain you are feeling and it will take a long time to become even bearable but believe me it does, you learn to live alongside it. I know because I lost my daughter nearly 35 years ago, only 3 days old so no memories to sustain me, but altho she is always in my heart and soul, the grief eases a little as time passes altho you will never ever forget.
Today is the anniversary of my friend taking his life, at the age of 51 - I sent his Mum a card as I always do and she will phone me tomorrow and we will talk about him, she is well over 80 now but has coped even tho she already had the sadness of another son killed in a car accident when he was just 18, she only has one son left out of the three, and a daughter who is estranged from her, but she gets by day by day because it is what we have to do.
I will nudge up the Remember Me thread as there are some beautiful verses on there that will bring tears, I hope they will be healing tears and you might find a little comfort in some of the words.
My thoughts will be with you, and all the people your daughter touched, including her husband and ex husband and the children and her siblings, relatives and friends. You raised a wonderful person, so be proud and thankful you had her for those years, so she could raise her sons and live on in them.

Lizx

My heart goes out to you Pat. Can feel your pain in your writing. The support you need will always be here when ever you feel the need for it. Sending you a big (((((((hug))))))).
Hilary. xx

So very sorry for your tragic loss.
My heart goes out to you and all your family.

Lin xxx

My heart goes out to you ,Pat,trying to come to terms with the unexpected loss of your lovely daughter,I really can't comprehend the pain you would be feeling. Please don't feel guilty that she has gone,I'm sure that she would not want you to feel that way.I hope that you can continue to enjoy the company of your grandchildren,and remain close to your sons-in-law as the boys grow up.Please accept my deepest sympathy.

Margot .

Pat
My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. You must all be devastated. I know in time the wounds will heal but in the meantime you have your lovely Grandchildren to focus on and there is always a listening ear in Genes if you are feeling low.
Please take care
Hugs and Best Regards
Jackie

Dear Pat.
Im very sorry for your loss and I do know how you must be feeling. I lost my husband last year after being married 40 years. The feeling of sadness can only be understood by others who have been in the same position.
The first year is the worst because you cant talk about them without getting upset.
Having written this I too am in tears because its all been brought home to me.
Just keep busy because that helps

Dear Pat, I am new to this forum but wanted to say how sorry I felt in reading your posts. It seems there are good people here to support you and to listen, and I am glad that you feel able to talk here and hope it is a help to you.

I lost my husband very suddenly in Dec 2006 and today I am going to travel some 120 miles to see his mother who is near the end in hospital. I know the pain of loss, and my heart goes out to you x

Pat,my thoughts and prayers are with you
at this very sad time,i to know the pain loss.
Lily

Oh! Pat, losing one's child is doubly heartbreaking but I can assure you, by sharing your grief on here you will have all the love in the world, good listeners and friends for ever.
The good people on here helped me through my darkest days, and even now after a few years, they are still here if I need them. I have no words of comfort for you, because right now, they will land on a heavy heart, but please know, so many people here are with you XX.. Bless you XX..

Pat, I am sorry sorry to read of your loss.
Sending you and your family my deepest sympathy xxxx

xx Jill

No words of mine can possibly ease your grief, but my heartfelt prayers and thoughts are with you at this dreadful time.

My deepest sympathy for you and all those who knew and loved Wendy.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Daff xxxx

I,m so sorry to hear your news .....as many have said there are no words to put right what has happened.

But as many of us know time will help some and the boys she had will fill some of the gaps in your familys heart ...they will fill you with pride and joy

Take care of each other at this time

my thoughts and prayers are with you.
we are all here for you.
take care
tina x

So sorry Pat, My boyfriend is also going through a bad time as his brother died aged 42 in July and is still going through it now as it was a shock to all his family but his brother wasn't the healthiest of people but i can understand the pain your going through. Take care
Debbie

Dear Pat, Let me first offer you my most sincere condolences on the loss of Wendy.
I am so glad you chose this site, I wish I had a p.c when I lost my Girl (just over 2 years ago), she also left 2 little boys, one aged 4, and the other aged 10months.
What you are feeling now is "normal"( if there is such a thing) youre grieving Pat, and thats healthy,its a long and painfull process, but HAS to be done.
Every one of us on here that has lost a child, would have swapped places with them in a heartbeat, but thats not to be, so the best you can do, is concentrate on your grandsons, even that is painfull, as every time you look at them, you see your Wendy.And the emotional pain becomes a physical pain, that ebbs and we are left with that empty feeling, but that in time will become bearable.
Please try to stay off the "what iffs, and If only Road", that only leads to blame, and no-one is to blame here,
I wont lie to you and say it gets easier, because it doesnt, its just gets a little more bearable.
If you need to chat personally, you can always PM me.
So take care for today, and DONT forget to breath, it sounds daft, but it does help.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx