General Chat

Morning Pat, just a quick hello to you and your family. Thinking of you all XX..

Hello Pat,

just popped by to say hello. Very glad this thread is helping you. I'm with your Wendy on the jacket potatoes, I don't scrub mine either :0)

Maria x

Hi again Pat, and Paul if you're there too.

The suggestions from everyone for a memory box/book all sound fantastic to me. If I remember correctly, when I first read this thread you mentioned a picture of Wendy with her sons (and you Pat?)...I'm sure the boys will treasure that. I can imagine that perhaps the older boys will not yet be ready to open up such a box or book yet but knowing it is there when they are ready for it will be a great comfort.
Hope you are both OK.
LittleEm

Funny that you should mention light-bulbs Pat. A few weeks after my dad died, I switched a light on and the bulb exploded ( I was finding glass for weeks). The replacement bulb lasted a week and then that one packed in too. The third one has been in for about 6 months now, so fingers crossed...lol..

Please feel free to pm me if you think it will help.

Maggy
xx

Thankyou all of you for letting me talk to you, blimey, it really does help.

Two weeks, two lightbulbs. I switched the outside porch-light on tonight and it blew, I heard Wendy laughing and saw her laughing (the little sod) last monday it was the landing. I had better get a supply of bulbs in.

My friend came round today and I found I could actually talk to people and not 'hide behind the pen' so to speak, if you understand what I mean.

My other son Tony (he will hate me for this but I call him Tiggy - I don't know why) has read this thread and he is as impressed with your generosity of streangth.

Thankyou so much for letting me talk to you, it is a bit weird, I told my son that I have some really good virtually friends, he said welcome to the 21st century. Shit, you have helpd me so much, in fact I think you have actually saved me.

For all you lovely people who have PM'd me, I will be writing to you (If you don't mind), I have so many questions, which probably don't have any answers but I have to ask them.

My Wendy, she picked strawberries but she didn't wash them before she served them. She cooked the best jacket potatoes in the world but she didn't scrub them first and although she liked cooking, she didn't likr using onions and lets be honest, you can't cook withoug onions.

I willl go now, Dave is home and I guess I have to feed him, although to be honest, he will do most of it (he just told me that ther roast spuds are rock hard)

Thankyou for everything,..........................Pat

Patricia, it is lovely to share some of your memories of Wendy, please if you want add more I am sure we would love to hear them if it helps you a bit, holding you close gentle hugs,((((((( x )))))) .....


Jean x

So sorry for your loss Patricia.my heart goes out to you.There are no words to ease the pain but when i have faced loss of loved 1's in the past i have always held onto the good memories of them and always rested in knowing they are looking down at me from a better place.Wendy lives on through your Grandchildren as they are a part of her,take comfort from that.


Michelle xxx

I'm sorry Pat and Paul, I just saw this thread, I also send you big hugs and the knowledge that your sorrow is shared.
Pat, nothing can replace your precious daughter, nor Paul your sister, but time will allow the preservation of memories, memories in boxes orphotos or books or scrapbooks - or minds, will be valuable for many years to come.
sending you love, remembering Wendy and her legacy of her precious sons.
Mary XXX

You will never believe how much you have all helped me, I don't feel so alone. You have sent so much love to my Wendy and so many prayers that it really does help but of course it dosen't bring her back.

I spoke to my son Paul last night and asked him to see if he could acess your responses which he did and joined GR so that he could repond to your kindness, he did and found your messages very comforting He is phoning my other son Tony as I write. He has also told my son-in-law and I will tell the other son in law, I am very fond of them both.

The help and strength you have all given me is something I will never forget. Two weeks later, the pain is unbelievable but I will never forget all of you who have said prayers for my baby and me, Dave and her brothers and her sons and husband. Thankyou and may God Bless you all.

I want you to know my family, my Tony is in the top section of MENSA my Paul could pass if he applied - my Wendy's favourite expression was 'you 'reap what you grow', she got everything wrong but she was a darling and I loved her millions.

You know, there is a video of her walking Toby when he was little around on a horse (I don't know where they were) and she walked him riht into a tree, although he laughe and laughed, she did feel for Toby.

. I am goimg to shut-up now, God Bless you and Iam alright now.......................love Pat

Paul, my sympathy to you and all your family as you learn to live without Wendy in your lives.
I wanted to mention another little memory aid for the children that would be nice in a memory box especially for the two older boys who will be moving from the familiarity of the house they shared with their Mum and stepdad. If Wendy had a favourite perfume or talc, whatever, it would be nice to put some on a pretty handkerchief or scarf of Wendy's so the boys can smell it sometimes, it will keep her feeling close to them. In fact it would be good for the two older lads to have several things of their Mum's in a box to take out and touch when they are away from their little brother, and maybe he would like to give them something to take with them of his too, to keep the link going while they have to live apart. It will be so hard for them, having to leave their school, friends and familiar surroundings for their Dad's home, altho being nearer you Pat, will be a help to you all I am sure.
Maybe a little notebook for them each and the younger lad, so you can write anecdotes in like the ribena and cup ones, and they can write their own in as they come to them, and his Daddy can write them in for the little lad. It is always better for people to talk about their lost loved ones if possible.
I think it has a lot to do with the way my o.h. is, his Mum died when he was 18 and it wasn't till he asked his dad recently what she died of that he really knew. His dad is the sort of person where out of sight is out of mind, his attitude was he didn't need a grave to remember her, but he married again only a couple of years later, and my o.h. didn't get to talk much about his Mum or even have photos of her, his father kept everything and got rid of lots of stuff, so o.h. barely has any memories.
Much better to keep talking about the person gone before, when the children want to than bottle things up inside.

My thoughts will be with you all, a hard time ahead but you will get through because you all care about each other and you know Wendy would want you to be happy as well as miss her.

Lizx

I'm trying to get life back to normal, which is in some way, all too easy. If that makes sense.

We all have enough to worry about at the moment with the credit crunch and stuff which seems to distract from the mourning. Not sure if this is good or bad. Being distressed about one thing to take your mind off another.

Probably better to remember the good times. And have another glass of wine. Time for bed I think.

Thanks again.

Paul x

Your more than welcome Paul, how are you coping?

Pat

I really do feel for you, i cannot possibly imagine the pain of losing a child no matter how old they are. My heart really does go out to you. I can only imagine what you have to endure on a day to day basis and to not know what she died of must only add to the pain.

I lost my father 2 years ago on armestice day and still find it hard to come to terms with. There isn't a day that goes by that i wish with every bone in my body he was here with me.

Its sounds like you have a loving and supportive family and thats a great help.

You talk all you like if it helps.

God bless and take care

Deb
XXX

Dear Paul,
I understand your pain and shock, all I can say is take heart from your Mum as she surely will from you, bless you both, you have my heart felt love, remember the good times, and I know that sounds corny, but it helps, eventually, bless you Paul and your Mum XX..

To Paul and Pat,
My heart goes out to you and your family at this very sad time.
The only thing I can say is that remembe all the good times, and tell her boys that she loved them, and give them as much family history so that they know where they came from.
God bless wendy rest in peace.

agree with helen, your sister sounded lovely, you must miss her so much and I can't imagine how you all must be feeling
take care paul and my thoughts with you all
catherine
xx

Paul ,I take it you are Wendy's Brother.How good of you to pop on here.So sorry you have lost your sister,I can't imagine how you must be feeling.It sounds like you have a lovely family.Chin up ,remember the good and the funny times.There is always someone on here for your mum or you .
Take care now.
Helen xx

You're very welcome Paul.

There are some lovely people on here who will help all they can.

Look after your mum.

Hey Mum,

I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. It's nice that people care so much, even though they didn't know my sister.

If you were to believe the newspapers, you'd think there was so much badness in the world. It's not true.

Most people are good, as has been demonstrated by this thread, and just want themselves and everyone else to be happy. It's heart warming that people have taken the time to write.

Thank you all.

Paul

Pat, I am so very, very sorry. No one should have to suffer the terrible pain of losing a child.

You will find friends here, believe me, please keep posting people here really care,

Angels sing your lass to her rest and give you all peace,

Caz xxxxx