General Chat

I'm not deaf, Dave. I heard you the first time. Now get yourself off to the bar or your booze ration will be cut to zero. *sips vodka* Gwynne

Helen, There are no rooms in this hotel. Please read the brochure. The guests will be housed in chalets in the grounds. *sips vodka* Gwynne

Well I'm at a bit of a lose end now. No customers to service you see, and I am the customer service manager.......Any one got any odd jobs I can do to fill in??? Other than that, It's the bar for me! Claire CSM

Hi Clare, Perhaps you could persuade Helen to dress a little more appropriately for a high class establishment. And go and have a look in chalet 101 to see if Dave is lurking there. I'll see you in the bar later. *sips vodka* Gwynne (ents)

Ahhh. Ok then. So will you be turing the matresses over and checking that there is fire retardant foam in, and making sure the fixings etc are all in order then? Good idea. Can't have any nasty accidents can we? Claire CSM

My goodness! Bouncing on the matress, I can't be doing that. I might wrinkle my armarni suit, break my attractive horn rimmed specs, or my very neatly pinned hair might come undone....Oh, and Gwynne wanted you for something. Perhaps she will help you test the beds. I think I'd better pop along to my nice quiet office now....Dear me! (wanders off muttering) Claire CSM

Ahh Heln......Oh....It seems you have your top on back to front......Anyway, Gwynne wanted me to have a word. While it is perfectly acceptable to use your natural charms as we spoke about yesterday, she feels that there is such a thing as going over the top if you see what I mean....Nice lip gloss though dear. Claire CSM

[Penthouse apartment - having looked through all her paperwork last night and this morning, Mrs. G decides she must have a quick lunch and then do a proper walk-round of all the complex. Picks house phone ] Hello ..... hello hmmm no-one seems to be answering. Wonder where that girl is who was on the Receptio desk yesterday evening .... I'll hang on for a few minutes (thinks, Oh Dear, I do hope I am not going to have to have words with a member of staff so soon after my arrival - very regrettable!) Mr. Blue comes through, obviously looking for his lunch ... he rubs against her legs and taps her knee. Putting phone back on the cradle ..... OK chap, come on then, you can have some more of that cold meat and milk. Tail up, he trots along behind her. Perhaps Lindy, that nice lady chef, can arrange to have some special titbits put by for you eh? The supper we had last night was good, wasn't it? He purrs loudly .......

Pssst Miss? (It is the Snake Woman but she has covered herself in flour to hide her tatoos). Whom do I see about the Cabret acts? I am a Hungarian Fan Dancer of International repute...Would you like to see a little of my act?? She throws her 45in chest out and whips two large pink moth eaten fans from behind her back... Teetering on her 5in heels, varicose veins bulging, she dances around Reception to the tune of 'I. Have Lost My Heart in Budapest'

Far Lady shuffles in... I am exhausted been down at the jetty all day supervising the off loading of supplies. If this lazy lot thinks I am gonna check and transport there supplies up to the hotel they have another think coming. I hope nobody is expecting lunch the hotel isn't even open yet! Maybe miss Dorothy needs feeding and that Blue! Boris please! stay away from that cat. Fat Lady cook Shuffles off to the interhouse phone...

Ring..ring... Hello! what's you name! I can never remember. Please get down to the kitchen and fetch Miss Dorothy's lunch...NO! I can't bring it up...I am a CHEF.. not a WAITER.. I also have some poached Salmon for Blue. .....Bangs down phone.. damn cheek!.. lazy..so..and so.. Fat Lady Cook does the duck two step back to the kitchen.

OUCH!!!! What a very SILLY place to put a cactus....BC

Sorry Buttercup thay was me!!! i just dont know where to put it, belongs in the garden if you ask me i know i will hide it in the cellar,

Swish! Swish! Think I'm losing me feathers.....

Fifi's busy doing a quiz.

[Penthouse Apartment - Mr. Blue has enjoyed his poached salmon and she has enjoyed a very tasty omelette, so having combed her hair, donned a smart business style dress, she is setting off to have a good look round the Complex: wishing to give that girl on the desk every opportunity to pull herself together - she picks up the house phone .......] Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr getting increasingly impatient now ......... Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrr

*wakes up on floor of flat clutching vodka bottle* The light, the light................. too bright. Think I'll stay here for a while. Gwynne (ents)

[Penthouse Apartment she is walking around, with phone in one hand and pen in the other - trying to balance a pad on which to write notes ..... Mr Blue is sitting on the sofa placidly watching her as she gets in more and more of a temper ...... Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrrr and she continues striding about . . . . . .

ok ok what the heck has been going on here in my absence? why is there bottles all over the floor elaine

Into the Reception strides a short but confident young woman with a stern look on her face. Prissy Douglas is the best of them all, the cream of the crop... and she knows it. She peers through her square rimmed glasses at her clipboard... <So this is it... the Utopia Hotel and Leisure Complex... looks nice... very nice... but I'm sure if I look hard enough I will find something wrong with this place... vermin... or maybe undertrained staff...> She sniffs the air... <What is that overwhelming smell of alcohol coming from?> Prissy walks over to the UNATTENDED Reception Desk and rings the bell RING RING, RING RING Prissy looks around <I wonder where everyone is...? I'm sure the office rang to let them know the Inspector would be calling today....>