General Chat

What was that, downing drink in one. Oh my goodness.....sits down very quickly and misses the stool. Maggie

Daisy sneaks a puff and takes her glass through to the back saying 'Just need to er work on the menu through here for a while, HIC. Back later. HIC' Trips over a crate of mixers and lands on the floor holding glass aloft 'It's ok - didn't spill a drop. HIC' Daisy

Can I be Head of Entertainments please? Reference available at www(.)Comedystampede(.)info. Click on The Herd. Me lotions packed and waiting to go! Nev

Me thinks the position has been filled Neville - but, just in case I am incorrect, put forward your credentials for scrutiny George the Parson

*Fat Lady yawns... loudly and gets up from her chair, walks toward the bulletin board and starts writing out instructions for Sassy* Sassy, As of tomorrow the breakfast menu must be more complete to give the guests a variety of choice. You have a busy night ahead of you taking stock and making a list of what needs replacing. Don't forget to put in an order of Mr. Blue's favorite smoked Salmon. Fat Lady Cook

Gazing with horror at the Gardener's bare red legs.....My my Miss Maggie the Gardener.....your legs are like....the Tundra....Brings me back to when I was in Russia with the Dancing Bear......

Pardonez moi, mon ami, Jacqui/George Just noticed. I saw a fella outside of Marks & Sparks banging away on a Tambourine singing 'OUR HOUSE, IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET'. I said 'That's Madness'. He said 'I know but I couldn't get a proper job' I'll get me coat!

Well at least someone could help me up. And get that horrible man away from me. He smells worse than I do. BC Im in your hands sort me out, make me beautiful. And no cracks about miracles please. Maggie

Gawd 'elp us (says George) I'm the parson and I'm the one who's supposed to provide the miricles, not the 'airdresser woman!!!! I'll need all me powers to make you beautiful, gardiner, but I'll do me best. Have a puff of this, it'll make you feel a lot more at ease........................... Neville - this is Madness, so you should feel at home my friend - lol

Inspired and tired, George, by the way I'm a big fan of root vegetables to! Away to pee-pee's now as I'm a few decades behind when it comes to beauty sleep thanks to Gene! Nighty Night

Yuck, why on earth would I want to smoke crocodile pee flavoured fern leaves for. Go away you silly little man, before I do something nasty to you. Gets up off floor, and brushes herself down, sits carefully on bar stool as rear end is a bit tender now.

The menu below will be a standard breakfast served on a daily basis for Paying Guest. It will be available between 6am and 11am in the Dining Room. Those wishing the privacy of their chalets may order through Room Service. *UTOPIA HOTEL BREAKFAST MENU* CHILLED JUICE Orange, Tomato, Prune, Pineapple, Cranberry. Grapefriut, Apple. ********* FRUIT Sliced Bananas with cream Orange Sections Stewed Prunes Grapefruit Halves Assorted Fruit Yogurt ********* COLD CEREALS Bran Flakes Rice Krispies Corn Flakes Shredded Wheat ********* FROM OUR BAKERY Croissants Bagels Assorted Danish Pastries Toast Fruit Muffin Bran Muffin Orange Marmalade, Strawberry Preserves, Apricot Preserves, Honey. ********** UTOPIA SPECIALTIES Eggs Benedict - Poached Eggs, Ham and Hollandaise Sauce, presented on an English Muffin. Banana pancakes, Buttermilk Pancakes, Blueberry Pancakes French Toast. Served with Maple Syrup. OMELETTES Plain, Cheese, Fine Herb, Ham, Smoked Salmon and Onion. *********** EGGS 'SERVED YOUR WAY' Boiled, Basted, Fried, Poached, Scrambled. ************** FISH SELECTION Smoked Salmon and Chream Cheese, Broiled Kippers. ************** SIDE ORDERS Ham, Pork Sausage, Bacon, Hash Brown Potaoes ************** BEVERAGES Coffee- Regular and Decaffinated, Tea, Herb Tea, Hot Chocolate, Milk. SASSY - Assistant Cook.

*wakes early* *checks mail* Who is this Mr Larkin who has applied for my job? We may consider you for another post should you apply. There is no vacancy for Entertainment Manager at this establishment. Gwynne (entertainment manager)

a somewhat bedraggled woman is sitting surrounded by battered designer luggage. She is sobbing into her hanky. 'Will I never get to the wretched island and my poor sweet baby? I've visited most of the islands in the southern hemisphere. Where is that boatman?' *sniffs* Gwynne's Mummy

*rings down for service* I'll have some croissants with strawberry preserves, please. And a Bucks Fizz. Busy day today with paperwork (I'm going to the LDS) *tries to phone Mummy again* Gwynne (Ents)

Picks up bedside phone-speaks ,This is Lady Fartington-Wellby in room 215, will you send up a full English Breakfast please and I want my clothes pressed and shoes cleaned' 'WHAT? wHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NO RECORD OF ME-I BOOKED IN AT 2am''

OK Maggie the Gardener. I've waxed your legs.. What? Oh! well the skin will grow back soon, dont worry. Now I've noticed a few wrinkles round your eyes, probably from staring at the midday sun. I used to be called Bridget the Botox....see this needle???? Well a few little stabs with that and you will never have an expression on your face again...I mean you will be beautiful. How Much??? Why its Free dearie, Im just practicing I mean...just give me one of your man eating plants ha ha ....

Where are you all?

Oh gawd...be gentle with me. Ouch, oooooooh, what is that??? Maggie

*Fat Lady Cook shuffles into the reception area and there is not a soul in sight, she hears singing and laughter coming from the pool area and peeps through the doorway* That lot are enjoying themselves with the guests! I spy the Queen of tarts, tarts, and whatsyourname melons...There in the back is Daisy ..slobbering all over that creepy guy..Oh Ho! and there is the queen herself doing the striptease this should be interesting....heh! heh! watch everyone run off ...Well now, I guess the poolside barbeque luncheon has gone down well. Come along Boris back to the kitchen and I will make you a nice snack.....Stop growling at that plant with the eyes....I must speak to Maggie about that Giant Venus Flystrap, maybe she can tell me the story, surrounding it.... I might even be able to make use of it...Hmmm...