General Chat

THIS THREAD NOW CLOSED please add WEEK 2 thread Gwynne (ents)

Hello Mrs. TO BE, I would love to cater your wedding !!!!!- the only thing is - I have to get the OK from Fat Lady. Sassy (who loves sushi and will be going out for it at lunch tomorrow)

'Hello Sassy! great job you're doing with the catering, we're so impressed we're hoping you and your larger associate could cater for our joint wedding? Heston and his missus (Elaine) were talking about sausage rolls etc but Daddy was thinking sushi, caviar and blinis, and other sophisticated delicacies... maybe you could supply me with a suggested menu?' Becx (casino manager, bride-to-be and multi-gizzilionairess)

Coooeeee! Over here.....At last someone other than a plant or a croc to talk to. Sassy

(Bec awakes briefly to get bottle of water... she limps over to the fridge... my.... Preston is VERY well endowed... '

Tee Hee!!!!! Just hope my boys have not inherited their Daddy's er.. TINY.....appendages.....Hee hee hee hee hee Wondermum

(Bec falls asleep next to her hunk and fiancee Preston... she's so glad that she's so rich and and that Preston signed the pre-nuptial agreement... I love him but if his mother is an absolute nightmare then I have no problem in excluding her from all the arrangements.. I find money talks...) Becx (Casino Manager, bride-to-be and multi gizzilionaire)

Elaine better be careful sweetiepie......I am a woman who has been around the blocks a few times....I may appear to be unsophisticated tho artistic...but I pack a mean punch if you know what I mean. Dont mess with Mummikins..... you never saw me when I was Millie the Mesmerizing Masticating Monstress, did you???? watch out.....

No son of mine will wed a BAR PERSON!!!!! who snitches!!!!! SHE knows who she is!!!!!! Mummikins

Strange how everyone is wearing Stillettos.. she thought. digging her beautifully formed tiny feet into the warm sand...and FOOD..... endless discussions of food! And booze of course...well thats o.k. Sings in her extraordinary sweet voice 'Mother Macree'..... it brought tears to her eyes...all those years when nobody had called her Mummy.... they had called her everything else but....Maybe it was'nt too late!!!! Oh how exciting.....I am going to be a Mummy.....I shall tell them the sad tale and they will understand why I had to give them away...But the names would have to change...they were ridiculous. Arthur and Harry would be good... and of course they could'nt possibly marry those two ghastly wimmin.... Well I've looked after snakes and camels and such...twin boys couldnt be much different???? .

Yes please another large vodka and coke ect. Oh no, Maggie dashes out as fast as her stilletto's will let her, and into the kitchen where she grabs the braised lamb shank with garlic and rosemary sauce, and some chips, hurries back to reception and feeds the plant. Plant gobbles down food and opens its red pot shaped flowers and poor Maggie gets a facefull of garlic breath. Yuck, Lindy you where very heavy on the garlic no wonder there was so much lamb left over from dinnner. Goes back to the bar..... Elaine lilac, me, do you think. Stands there and does a twirl, be honest now. Maggie

Having finished putting the plastic roses into that awful gap amongst the real roses, and having a good look at possibilities for the wedding flowers, Maggie goes and has a shower and gets changed. She even puts on make-up ( a great rareity) and takes care with what she is wearing. Hey if those two can grab a man theres hope for me yet, especially with my new face. She totters into the bar wearing 5 inch stillettoes ( feet very painful as she is always in wellies ) checking the seam on her very fine black stockings she carefully sits on a bar stool. Right Elaine you and I need to have a really good chat about what you want me to wear as your matron of honour. Please, please think very carefully, I do not suit namby pamby horrible pastel shades. Oh and yes a very large vodka and coke with lots of ice please. Maggie

Well I'm not touching the fish and chips... Worcester Sauce is supposedly at the source of these Sudan food dye problems... are they trying to poison us?!?! Becx (Casino Manager, Bride-to-be and Mulit-gizzilionairess)

What - no chips on their own??????????????

********DINNER MENU******** STARTERS Steamed Manila Clams with Garlic and Herb Sauce Dungeness Crab, Vegetable and Lettuce Sushi Rolls Chilled Jumbo Prawns with Two Cocktail Sauces Honey Smoked Salmon on Green Onion Mashed Potatoes Angel Hair Pasta Alfredo with Grilled Rock Prawns Beef Tenderloin Tips on Fresh Herb Polenta Mashed Potato Martini with Pesto Chicken and Sun Dried Tomatoes Chicken, Ricotta and Spinach Pasta Pockets with Sunflower Seed Pesto Baked Portobello Mushroom with Goat Cheese and Wilted Spinach Goat Cheese Wrapped in Grape Leaves with Merlot Braised Garlic Oven Baked chips and tomato sauce SALADS Mixed Organic Greens with Buttermilk Garlic Dressing Seasonal Greens with Raspberry Vinaigrette Bibb Lettuce with Pink Grapefruit and Citrus Dressing Spinach, Bacon and Mushrooms with Honey Mustard Dressing Traditional Caesar Salad Swiss Quartet Vegetable Salad Tomato and Fresh Mozzarella with Basil Vinaigrette Green Salad and Chips SOUP Wild Mushroom Soup in Sesame Puff Pastry Light Sun Dried Tomato Gin Soup, Mozzarella Fritter Potato, Zucchini and Crab Bisque Alaskan King Crab Bisque with Fresh Dill Halibut and Vegetable Minestrone Pacific Northwest Seafood and Wild Rice Chowder New Mexican Corn, Chicken and Tortilla Chowder Smoked Chicken, Potato and Spinach Corn and Potato Bisque Mixed Vegetable and Chips FISH Grilled Halibutwith Tropical Fruit Salsa . Halibut on Vermont Cheddar Mashed Potatoes with Sun Dried Tomato Sauce Parmesan Herb Crusted Atlantic Sole on Red Bell Pepper Polenta and Chardonnay Sauce Pan Seared True Cod with Shiitake Mushrooms and Asian Greens Pan Seared Scallops with Spicy Bacon and Spinach Sauce Scallop and Prawn Skewer with Citrus Sauce Local Red Rock Fish with Asian Black Bean Sauce Grilled King Salmon with Sherry Dill Sauce Poached King Salmon with Grain Mustard Hollandaise Fried Fish and Chips with Vinegar and Worcester Sauce MEAT Pan Seared Chicken Breast with Rosemary Grape Sauce Chicken Breast with Olives, Leeks, Capers and Mozzarella Scandinavian Chicken Meatballs with Dijon Mustard Sauce Santa Fe Spicy Chicken Turnovers Satay Chicken Skewers with Thai Peanut Curry Sauce Smoked Chicken and Ricotta Croissants Asian Barbeque Pork with Kim Chee on Crispy Wonton. Roast Sirloin of Beef, Apple Horseradish Salsa on Whole Wheat Baguette Grilled Beef Tenderloin with Green Peppercorn Shallot Sauce Grilled Veal Chop with Crimini Mushroom Sauce Roasted Prime Rib of Beef Au Jus with Horseradish Cream Beef Tenderloin Tips on Linguini with Soy Cream Sauce. Braised Lamb Shank with Garlic and Rosemary Sauce Mixed Grill Fried Egg and Chips Served with Warm Rolls and Butter, Potato or Rice and Fresh Vegetables VEGETARIAN Mediterranean Couscous and Feta Salad Green Salad with Vinaigrette Eggplant with Herbed Goat Cheese Filling and Roasted Tomatoes Red Lentil Salad with Cucumbers and Fennel and Chips DESSERTS Chocolate Pavlova with White Chocolate Sauce and Chocolate Ice Cream Caramelized Upside Down Apple Tart Tatin with Apple Sorbet Northwest Caramelized Pear and Hazelnut Meringue Torte White Chocolate Espresso Mousse in a Sesame Lace Basket Espresso and Kahlua Tiramisu Chocolate Hazelnut Bread Pudding with Frangelico Chantilly Three Fruit Sorbet Terrine with Fresh Fruit Crème Brûlée - Assorted Flavors Individual Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes with Raspberry Chantilly Flourless Chocolate Cake with Mint Ice Cream Riesling Poached Bartlett Pear with Almond Cream and Rich Chocolate Sauce Floating Island in Caramel Crème Anglaise Rosy Apple and Chips Cheese Plate - Selection of Five Imported Cheeses and Crackers and Chips Red and White Wine of your choice Coffee and Brandy HEAD CHEF Fat Lady

G'day fair middens......................oh, sorry maidens - how fare thee this fine day? Would you like to partake of what the good lord has provided in the shape of this rather wobbly looking ciggie? hee, hee, hee (drawing deep and long on the reefer) I am off to find a copy of the good book, from whence cometh all knowledge......wassit called again..........ah yes, The Carpetbaggers byHarold Robbins...that's right. In there is the fountain of all things carnal, and of course as part of my parson's duties I will have to test the forthcoming brides and grooms on their knowledge of such matters. I think page 452 is probably the best to read first, and then ask questions. It's no good ploughing straight into nuptuals without a bit of knowledge......................... Thinks -- one of them bridies has some huge appendages, must remember to stand slightly back and raise my voice - don't want to die of asphyxia, especially if the bridal dress is anything like the blooming thing she's wearing at the moment - all straps and no front............ see you soon my children, as I have to away now to minister to the sick and needy - I feel sick, and I'm always needy George

Think Parson George has been on the wacky baccy!!! Ricky Vally...hee hee lol BC

Bec spies the Parson wandering around absentmindedly... hmm... am starting to wish I'd agreed to Robbie's (Williams) request to marry us... Will need to speak to Elaine about this...

Parson! PMSL !!!!!!!

G'day - Parson George here (having trouble with my computer actually - but bear with me please) Do I hear the sound of ding dong bells? will my expertise be required? if it's to be a double wedding I can present my current price list - two for the price of three!! Do you lovely maidens (ha!) fancy your nuptuals on the beach, in the Reception, in the Penthouse - where shall I present myself and on what day, pray tell please? I shall ensure that my surplice is washed and pressed (mind you it wont be that dirty after I've worn it for Charles and C's wedding - oh, sorry State Secret that, forget I mentioned it) Do you want the traditional version, the hippy version, the Buddhist version, the Hell's Angels version, which? Are we concecrated? are there hymn books, do you want recorded music or live music? are there to be best men? best women? best friends? George Best, George Bush, Flaming Bush, Flaming Star, Ricky Valle? How deep is my valley? How green is her valley? How much is that doggie in the window? giggles insanely........................... Oh, I nearly forgot - what's the names of the cobbers who are splicing their whatsits? Looks around absently............................who's stuck those plastic flowers in the ground? did she get them free with Persil? Must visit that cannabis shrub again on the way to my hutch, personal supplies are down but that's because I have arranged with Manuel the Skipper of the Club Yacht to ferry some little parcels over to the mainland for me......... Wanders off in the direction of the garden