General Chat

Oh......Looking helplessly at Maggie the Gardener's face which seems to have turned to stone. It was just a little prick she whimpered....and you WILL be able to smile again, honest... Could'nt you pretend to be a statue or summat just for a few days, stand in a corner of your garden....Venus de Milo!!! Thats it.... you could wear a sheet and....oh did'nt she have one arm or summat....let me think this out.....

Gmmph, arrgghh, snmmmmel. Mmmmumph. Thinks Oh no what has she done to me. I cant go round like this. Frozen faced. Grabs pen and paper, GET ME SORTED OUT NOW!!!!!!!!

G'day - George the Parson here......just popped in for a little light refreshment, liquid type of course. See's Maggie the Gardiner...............................Gawd, I said just one little puff of the weed, not a bloody lungful girlie.........it's 150% proof is that stuff, enough to turn your blood to stone, let alone yer face!!! to the beautician:- I reckon Dave the Maintenance has a blow-lamp in his shed, run and get it and give her a quick once over, if we're lucky it might only just be temporary paralysis, but I don't hold out much hope, I really don't!! ambles over to the bar, and helps himself to a pint of something long and brown and wet, Amber Nectar and throws down 18 yellow beads (slightly different shape beads to those the rest of the staff have)...................

<bec sits in her office counting all her money> That Sheik really doesn't have a clue how to play cards... <evil cackle> Becx (Casino Manager)

<bec sits in her office counting all her money> That Sheik really doesn't have a clue how to play cards... <evil cackle> Becx (Casino Manager)

BBBringggg Bbbringgg Bbbringggg Bbbringggg *I am so sorry the Reception area is not attended at present, please leave a message and we will return your call as soon as possible* She looks at the phone in disbelief!! Surely someone must be around the Reception area who could lift the phone and answer. Oh well, message it will be: Ms G here, I am still with Herman Finkelmeyer and his wife on Amity Island. Please tell Dr. Longlegs I shall be back to the complex tomorrow. Please ask Lindy to ensure that Mr Blue gets his supper this evening, and tell him I'll see him soon. Thank you. Now then Herman, what were we saying .......

Sorry to be late for work again, but I still cant find the SALON!!!!! AND could I please have an assistant for days when I feel a little lazy? Or when I have visitors, like today? Deanna

No Sir I am the hairdresser, but I will gladly sign you in and take your money. Just give me that £200 and someone will settle up with you later. NO NO.. no need to SIGN in.. I'll sort it all out for you. No trouble sir. JUST put this money in my pocket..who is to know? They are all P****d as N**ts. Deanna :-P

***********DINNER MENU************ STARTERS Garden Salad with a Selection of Dressings Zesty Caesar Salad with Aged Parmesan Curried Coconut Shrimp with Pineapple Salsa Wild Mushroom and Phyllo Triangles Caramelized Onion and Goat Cheese Tarts SOUPS Minestrone, Potato Leek, Cream of Broccoli, Corn Chowder Chicken Vegetable PASTA Pasta Puttanesca - Capers, Black Olives, Leeks, Plum Tomatos and Onions Pasta Primavera - Medley of Julienned Vegetables in a Garlic White Wine Sauce Pasta Carbonara - Proscuitto, Mushrooms and Peas in Alfredo Sauce Accompanied by Fresh Garlic Bread FISH Fillet of Sole with Seafood Stuffing Topped with Lemon Dill Sauce Oven Roasted Salmon with Citrus Champagne Sauce MEAT Grilled Chicken Mediterranean with Tomatoes, Garlic, Capers, Black Olives and Onions Breast of Chicken and Natural Chicken Herb Sauce Sliced Oven Roasted Sirloin of Beef Oriental Beef Stir Fry Stufffed Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple Scented Pork Gravy Served with Warm Rolls and Butter, Potato or Rice and and Fresh Vegetable White or Red Wine Coffee and Brandy Assorted Swiss Cheese and Crackers DESSERTS Warm Apple Strudel, Chocolate Mousse, Fruit and Berry Tart, Citrus Carrot Cake, Chocolate Mousse Cake With Oreo Crumb Crust Philadelphia Cheesecake Topped with Fresh Berries Fresh Fruit Salad and Ice Cream ..................... FAT LADY HEAD CHEF

Just how old is the Aged Parmesan???? cos I can smell it from here!!

That dinner looks scrummy... shame I'm on a (liquid only) diet! Am glad I'm not working tonight, obviously I'll still be in my Casino doing the 'socialising' thing... wonder if the Sheik will be around tonight...? Becx (Casino Manager)

That's me! Fat Lady Cook....I took my shoes off..;-)) I am off to my own humble kitchen!

Miz Bec.....You try my patients, last week it was vegetarian then fish, now its liquid! I suggest you have dinner in the bar! Fat Lady Cook

Fat Lady Cook - Oh i shall Think I'll start with a Martini... Then maybe a pint of lager.... Ooh and then a bottle of wine Becx (Casino manager)

Bar.did you say Bar......now you're talking!!! Fat Lady Cook,please keep me a portion of the Magic Mushrooms and a plate of chips on the hob - I'll be down in a bit. thank you in anticipation. George

Grrmmmppph, snnnaafff, Thinks: starving how am I gonna eat with a frozen face, I hope this wears off soon. Soup and straw, and maybe Lindy can liquidize something really nice for me. Creeps into kitchen hoping nobody will see her.

G'day gardiner - what you doing with your face over that gas hob? it wont thaw out you know, unless you get a blow lamp to it. On the bright side, you aint got any wrinkles now.....sorry, what was that you said????? Now where are my chips and magic mushrooms - sure that lovely lady cook put me some up - she's fair dinkum she is George

Head of security checking the garages are all clean and tidy, no cans of petrol or oil lying around, must make sure no one gets injured, turns around falls over a car jack flat on his face, looks round sheepishly hopes no one saw him, dusts himself down, walks off whistling as if nothing had happened, thinks! i'll head for the bar and have a few drinks and hope it's a quiet night, must remember i have to report to Mrs Houty Touty in the penthouse suite later, must say it seem to be getting a regular evening appointment, wonder if she fancies me, reaches the bar pint of bitter please and i'll sample one of those volcano cocktails too, thanks. David H>o>S

Back slinks the long raincoat person with ginger wig and black mustache, or was it the other way around?.. Large diamante studded sunglasses complete the rather off the wall look.. Avoids eye contact with the statue that looks a bit like....? Venus de Milo with arms and red looking legs? Creeps into Reception, looks around...Nobody as usual... Sits down rather shakily, so many jobs, so little time, he/she muses.... I need something to take me away from all this stress....I need a magic mushroom omelette!!! Yes!!! Wonder if Fat Lady Coolk or that nice girl Sassy cook me one????

Starts to feel tingly all over, very carfully moves arms, legs, wiggles back, shakes bum, pulls a very strange looking face. Very slowly staggers towards the ladies. Once in there steels herself to look in the mirror. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!