General Chat

Hmm thought Allan as he surveyed the outfit....if the sub lieutenant didn't give me any clothing then where did this flowery top come from?

The flowery top didn't really go with the rest of the ensemble, but who was Allan to beg and choose? He'd rather have had a jacket with fetching braid, but guessed that might look as if he felt he was superior in rank to the Captain. "No", he'd accept willingly the donated outfit and so presented himself to the Captain.

The Captain welcomed him and ushered him across to a huge table, where large maps were spread out, weighted at their sides with weighty books.

Allan felt bewildered. What were all those strange markings? Lots of mentions of fathoms, troughs and sandbars. Where was this place ? It didn't look at all like the England that Allan had known. Surely coastal erosion hadn't changed things that much since he left the old country.

Then he realised....

…. that the Captain looked remarkably like Captain Nemo.

and he was being asked to literally save Nemo!!

Now thought Allan, will those maps help me escape Captain Nemos underground city once I have rescued Nemo?

Allan's head was crowded with thoughts, as well as multiple personalities, including a more recent one that he couldn't put a name to.

He had also armed himself with some tools which he hoped could help out once he knew where he was.

One of these tools was a can opener purloined from the galley. Why they couldn't fit submarines with a ring pull like ordinary sardine cans he just didn't know.

Still, he had the Captain to face first.

"Tell me, Captain, do you have a sextant?" queried Allan

"What, one of those church wallahs? I'm afraid not; we don't even have a Padre" replied the Captain.

"A sextant, not a sexton. it's a device for taking sights on objects to determine the position of your boat. It's a weird looking instrument " explained Allan

"Oh that thing! We were issued with one but no one knew what it was for or how to use it so we advertised on eBay"

Allan knew that not only was it going to be one of those days, but possibly one of those weeks or even a year

Allan helped plot a course and hoped no one would realize it was a figure of eight too quickly.....this bought him some time....

OH meanwhile was rather missing Allan and his silly little ways....everyone around her wanted to help find Allan just to shut her up.....dear Allan this sweet Allan that.....even Rick had enough and went off with one of the crew.

Allan meanwhile found the Galley....he suddenly realized how hungry he was now what's for dinner.......

He lifted the lid of a large saucepan bubbling on the stove and peered in.

He was none the wiser, but it did look like a brown liquid that could be tea.
"Strange way to make a cup of tea", thought Allan, but then life was far from normal at the moment, so he accepted that things might be done differently, when at sea.

That was until he saw something come bubbling to the surface.
"Whatever is it?" thought Allan, then realised the object had stripes on it.
"That looks just like one of my socks", he said, then noticed a similar object had also come to the surface. " They ARE socks, ............"Why?"

Just then he was joined by the ship's cook, who ladled out some of the saucepan's contents into a mug. Noticing Allan's mystified look, he proclaimed that the liquid was "Just right", and set it aside.
Allan felt that the situation did not look at all promising regarding drinks, but would the food be better?

He lifted the lid of another saucepan and peered in............

A duck's head peered back.

Ah, thought Allan, this must be peeking duck.

but as the duck adjusted it's headwear Allan realised it must be a Bombay Duck. Hmm though Allan there is something fishy going on here so he ….

So he saddled up his unicorn and rode away into the sunset.

However, saddling up anything and riding into the sunset would be impossible in a submarine, particularly one that was currently submerged at about thirty metres.

The unicorn would, however, come in handy later.

So now there were two ducks, not a good way to start the new Ashes Tests

Magic and unicorns are very much in vogue especially with submariners.
Andrew Marr had one on his show this morning armed with the latest admiralty charts and some recipes pv varying attractiveness depending on your unicron.

The thought of all that puzzled Allan no end as it had nothing to do with the current situation other than a mere passing reference from another vague rambling.
Allan smacked himself around the face with a wet sock, rather foolish to say the least it just out of boiling water and all, but it did the trick.

Back to food.....Allan found something he might actually eat.....a little bit of toast...for some reason Paul Young came into his mind in an 80's flash back...Allan shook his head...too many bumps on the head.....now all he could hear was a woman singing....was it a Mermaid??.....

Allan’s OH knew that sounds could carry through water. So she got hold of a boat - speed rowed through the ocean and then sat there singing to Allan.

There was only one song that would get a reaction from Allan.

All togther now ——- We,re all going on a summer holiday. No .....

:-D :-D

on hearing no more worries...Allan, as men tend to do, jumped to the wrong conclusion........well I never he thought now she's with Rick she has no more worries we'll see about that....

He turned the sub around and yelled full steam ahead he was off to find himself a fair maiden........

Of course, this being Allan and OH nothing runs smoothly.......

The water it soon came in, it did,
The water it soon came in;
So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
In a pinky paper all folded neat,
And they fastened it down with a pin.
And they passed the night in a crockery-jar,
And each of them said, “How wise we are!
Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
While round in our Sieve we spin!”
Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are yellow,
And they went to sea in a Sieve.

Obviously, by these ramblings, one or both of them had been drinking sea water....

There was nothing for it Captain Nemo didn't need a madman on board...well no more as there was a crew of them already so he dropped Allan off in an inflatable life raft...gave him a compass and a flask of his sock soup and wished him good luck....

After a few minutes, Allan thought he heard the woman singing again......he rowed towards the sound...and who did he find but the young lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts with Rick on a luxury yacht and OH little dingy being trailed behind....

What luck thought Allan.....or was it.....

Allan was relieved to se his OH was in a little boat away from Rick but was a bit concerned as Pea Green wasn’t,t really her colour!

Allan did a double-take.

Cold it be a Jumbly girl, for her head appeared green?

But as Allan drew ever closer he realised that it WAS his OH, who once again was being ravaged by seasickness.

She hung over the side of the dinghy alternatively feeding the fishes then calling for Huey.

Allan could also see that scoundrel, Rick, playing with the young lady's coconuts, but she was being a little shy.