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seen his mole since he was about three years old - but it was still there plain as the nose on his face - Nanny would confirm his birthright - all she had to do was

so he walked towards the animal pens, though there was a big chance that Nanny was now in the place all goats go when they pop their hooves.

He walked quickly past the sheep

As there was a Ram being quite rampant so he shouted "Mint Sauce" to put him off.

taking care to keep his neeps well covered, and there was Nanny, God bless her - still smoking a pipe and not looking a day over 94 - she saw him walking - nay limping - towards her and with a cry of joy she

Shouted, Where,s my wages? I have,nt been paid for years so now I want my pound of flesh in Leu

calm down Nanny he cried - I'm back now and everything will be sorted - he fell into her bony arms and she kissed his bald patch - come away into the house my lad she said and I'll tend to your

Bits and pieces,which she did singing away to the tune of Neeps and shepperds while using a lovely big jar of

Vseline which she always kept for such emergencies - he fell into a deep peaceful sleep of dreamt of the days when

He first met the young damsel from the beginning of this story,and thinking is it to late for him to

cosy up to her? He thought not and when he finally awoke he

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

he just couldn't get her out of his mind - how would she feel about him having damaged neeps - would it make a difference - chafed thighs were one thing, but damaged neeps, well

He would have to ask her, but if she rejected him he knew that he would be neep deep in trouble

so he decided ti play it cool - perhaps when she discovered he was of noble blood she might be interested in more than his neeps - she might have an interest in his

Rabbits Rampant on his Coat of Arms. He also had something Rampant in his Trouser of Legs but this was only a small detail so

He clung to his knee hoping the neeps wouldnt roll down his leg .omg what an earth is that ?

Nanny lurched from the goat pen, her beard singed from excessive use of her pipe.

"My God!" thought Eldrick, "She's been at the liniment again. I've told her time and time again it's for rubbing, not for drinking! I'd better try to help her even though her hair does have a nice sheen."

Eldrick strode forth. he would have strode third but he was a bit slow. Grabbing nanny under her arms he

threw her over his shoulder, unfortunately rightover his shoulder, and Nanny ended up back in the goat pen - cripes thought Eldrick - I do hope she's OK - and with that she stood up and fetched him one around the ear - just like she used to in the old days - heaven!!! He really was back in the bosom of his ancestral pile, and speaking of piles

the nether regions of his neeps were itching like crazy.

Eldrick let out a loud sob.

Well the sob had been locked up all day. Once the sob had been tended to, Eldrick turned his thoughts back to Nanny who was desperately trying to catch his attention by

Waving her red bloomers in the air and dancing up and down to