General Chat

Thank you Susan for understanding.

Went to see him this afternoon.He seemed drugged,but when I asked to see what medicines he was being given(he takes over 30 pills a day),they said they hadn't added any.Took him for x ray while I was there,and then the 2 young physios came for him to try to stand up,,,which anyone could see he couldn't.
However, I am going to the meeting on Monday armed with a list of all the things I have had to do,especially for the last year,and MAYBE they may get him into a local nursing home....but I WILL CHOOSE IT.

Best wishes for a good result from your meeting on Monday, Brenda.

Huia.

Good luck for your meeting Brenda,

one thought sprang to mind, do the medicos give any thought to your OH being left with any dignity ??

Take care

Susan

Went to see him today and he was all packed up to go to the main hospital that he should have been in this time last week!! It's unbelievable as he has a chest infection and is hardly conscious.I don't think leaving him outside last friday did him a lot of good!!He has been pushed from pillar to post and I have been 5 hours there waiting to see a doctor,who was a young woman full of a cold.
They thought I was stroppy,but they haven't heard the last of this.
I am using this thread to remind me of all the points I'm going to put in my report so I don't forget anything.
My OH was a Met police officer and hated inefficiency as I do,and we wonder what the world is coming to.If only they had admitted him last week all this could have been avoided.

I am soooo angry!

Brenda my darling my heart hurts so much to hear the awful way you and your husband are being treated .People in the 'healthcare system' really should take a trip down the yellow brick road, meet up with the wizard of Oz ,and ask if he's got any spare brains they could purchase!!! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that the best way to assess the patients needs is to talk to the person who has been caring for them for the past x months and years!!!!
Will be thinking of you and sending a strengthening hug to you for Mondays meeting. xxx

hi brenda.what aterrible time you have had.couldi ask you from which part of wales you are from?do you have homecare(carers coming into your home to help you?(local council).you may not be aware but carers or nurses arenot allowed to lift(its costs local health trusts thou in sick pay for staff who have hurt themselves through lifting,and in some trusts you could lose your job) you should ask your council or health trust to fit hoists.also you said that your hubby was sent home from hos,well satsof 60% for someone with chronic lung problems is not a serious condition,but a frightening time for you all the same,maybe someone should have spoken to you about the reason for sending hubby home.i hope hes well soon.x

Thank you everyone for listening to my gripes.
Suzanne,we have had carers twice a week,but sometimes it's been more hassle for him.
They have talked about a hoist ,but I think the time has come where I can't take this.I have lost a lot of weight and feel weary.If he does come out of hospital and go to a nursing home for a couple of weeks I may feel different,but I have had this for over 5 years with the last 12 months terrible. Without a carer living in it would be a lot of the same as his needs are not at specific times.
We will see what tomorrow brings.
Izzy,with all the stress and worry you are still having it is so nice to see you caring for others.You are an amazing family,and for young Ashley he is only at the beginning of his life,Dan is 76,he told me the other day that he wants to reach his 77th in Sept.I said was that his short term goal!

Hi Brenda, been off line so trying to catch up with things on here now

I am sorry your poor Dan has had such awful treatment and your needs have been ignored as well. So glad you found the energy to stand up to the idiots who think they know it all!

Hope your man can be looked after better in future in the hospital and home and you can get some rest as well. You have been a real star looking after him so well

Take care and good luck, keep fighting back

Would you be able to type out a list of your complaints to leave behind with the people at the meeting, after you have explained them all to them first?
They wouldn't be able to say you had missed telling them something then.

Big hugs,

Lizxx

That is a good idea Liz. Typing it out would help Brenda to see if she has missed anything as well. And welcome back, Liz. We have missed you.

Huia.

So sorry to hear of your problems, have you tried contacting the Police Welfare Dept., perhaps they could help,
All good wishes,
Liz

Dear Brenda
My heart goes out to you re the treatment that you and your husband have endured. I trained as a nurse in the 1960s and believe me we would have been dismissed if we had reacted as you have told us on here.

Please please do not allow your husband to be placed anywhere until YOU have
a) visited the home, rehab or any other place
b) send me a personal message if you need help with what to look at and see.
c) telephone the local authority and ask and ask for the latest Inspection Report of ant home before you visit it.

You also should receive support, so if there is anything else I can help you with just send me a message.

On a fantastic note I have just realised who Izzy is!! So am saying hello to Izzy as well. My son is still in the Army and doing well. Going back you know where early next year.
Hope you remember me, Izzy

Bridget in Spain
13.58 hrs
Sun shining after twelve hours of torrential rain and thunderstorms
:-) :-)

brenda, at last you may get your chance to have your say. you are the only one to be able to stand up for your OH and yourself. Try not to lose your temper but be Very certain that they are going to have to listen and be sure of your facts. I have to stand up for my OH as he will not complain, but i wont have him treated badly. You should be able to get support from the police federation too. Health authorities do not see the smaller picture of how their decisions affect peoples lives and they need reminding that people are not counters to be moved about as they please. My thoughts will be with you on Monday and hope you get what you need.

I am a nurse livung in wales and ive neverheard anything like it.here in wales ,we have one of the best homecare services around.(this is not a n.h.s.problem,but one for your local council)homecare services do provide overnight care when its needed,andalso provide carers to come out and help you with toileting,putting to bed and washing.but like i said in my previous post,they arenot allowedto lift very heavy patients incase of injury to themselves andto the patient.x

Thanks Huia.

Brenda I hope you have managed to get some rest this weekend so far so you have had a chance to gather your thoughts for the meeting.

Take care,

Lizxx

Not been on here as had family.Sorry to say Dan is giving up and we don't think he has long.He is refusing medication,food and is now on morphine and not always lucid.We can hardly make out what he says,and believe me he was always loud.I thought he was saying side yesterday,meaning his side was hurting,but it was fine as had been his stock saying to everyone all through his illness.
friends and family are being fantastic,but I am so tired as can't sleep much.Think it's just a waiting game that's been hastened on by his bad treatmentand being pushed from here to there.

Not been on here as had family.Sorry to say Dan is giving up and we don't think he has long.He is refusing medication,food and is now on morphine and not always lucid.We can hardly make out what he says,and believe me he was always loud.I thought he was saying side yesterday,meaning his side was hurting,but it was fine as had been his stock saying to everyone all through his illness.
friends and family are being fantastic,but I am so tired as can't sleep much.Think it's just a waiting game that's been hastened on by his bad treatmentand being pushed from here to there.

I am sorry to hear that Brenda.

Best wishes.

Huia.

So Sorry to hear that Brenda, sending love and prayers to you and the family.
Take Care xo
Ingrid

Brenda, am so sorry to hear that. You need to hang in there for a little while longer to be there for him, then you need to take a long rest, knowing that you couldnt have done more yourself. Take care now.

I am sorry to hear that Brenda. Please know that we are all here for you, to listen to and to lean on. Nobody could have done more for Dan than you have and I am sure that he knows that. He has been ill for so long that he is probably just tired and ready to let go. Please don't worry that there is more you could have done, you couldn't. Maybe he would have been ready even if he had not had the recent hassle, the body can only stand so much.

Bless him and I hope the morphine is keeping him pain free.