General Chat

Hi Susan and everyone else who added to this thread. Was going to delete a few days ago, but will keep it open for a while longer. Susan if you could keep us up to date with the latest I for one would be very interested. Thanks to everyone else for adding.

Will do Captain Pugwash,
Marriag cert is already ordered.
Thank you for the original posting.
It is all a mystery to me as well.
I know that Harry Griffiths "married" !! someone else called Evelyn??
Sounds to me that he "liked women"

hi captain pugwash don't delete the thread just let it "die a natural death", people may want to come back for reference? once again thanks for starting it

UPDATE. Agnes C. Pow

I have now got the cert for Agnes C Pow.
It is
Agnes Cunninham Pow 18 spinster of Ladbroke Grove W.10 (London/Middlesex)
Father William Cunningham Pow (Shipwright)

married 1948

Michael Murphy 27 Bachelor of Lancaster Road W.11. (Lond/Middx)
father James Murphy (Farmer)

in the presence of
Mr. A Pow
Mr. J O'Brien.

I looked on BMD and managed to find death of
William Cunningham Pow b1934 d.1992 Ealing (London/Middx)

Does this help anyone to sort me out??
Thank you,
Sue

To Grumpy.
n
Sue

I was born in 1959 and adopted in 1960 after staying with my mother for 10 months and then she was tricked into having me adopted. Through social services I did meet my mother in 1985 when pregnant with my youngest. Thats what provoked me into looking for birth family. Although she lived in Australia where shed moved to in 1970s she came over for a visit. We kept in touch for several years but because of feelings of guilt against my wonderful adopted parents we lost touch. Following death of both my adoptive parents and my family leavng home I decided to join Genes inSeptember 2008 and have now met a cousin and am in regular contact with half sister and half brother. Would still love to find Gordon Cook my father who was living and working in Carlisle in late 1950s.

have spoke to susan through pm thanks

In the 1930's, my Gran was married with 3 little children & a husband who wasn't very nice to her. Some 70 years plus later, just before she sadly passed away she told my Mum (her youngest daughter) that during the war, she had an affair & found herself pregnant. Nobody knows what happened to the man she had an affair with, Mum didn't ask. Grandad allowed her to have the baby but forced her to give him away to be adopted as soon as he was born and he was never to be mentioned again.

When Gran told my Mum, she cried and said never a day went by when she didn't think of him. She had carried the secret with her for so long.

My Gran was such a lovely lady, I would love to find 'Gordon' who would be in his 70's now & let him know that she was a beautiful, loving person and not someone horrible who 'dumped' him. How, for the sake of her other 3 small children, she was forced to let him go.

Knowing that time is of the essence & as Social Services said that their waiting list was over 18 months long, we joined Norcap. Mum had to join as she was next of kin, sadly we had to stop because it was so expensive.

I have his birth certificate which shows that he was born in a Salvation Army Women's Hospital, I have spoken to the archivist there who confirms that he has the adoption file but, understandably, cannot give us any information from it. How frustrating!!

There is a man out there somewhere who maybe is unaware that he was adopted and if this is the case, we would never push for him to be told but, on the other hand, if he does know then I would love to let him know how lovely his BM was.

Hi everyone ive been trying to do some research for a friend at 48 he,s just discovered that he has a sister who was adopted. He has no other family alive and desperate to find her. I sent off for her birth cert i had the mother area and year right but because i didnt have the exact DOB they wouldnt send the cert but i know it is the right one !! What can i do to help him any suggestions please
Best Wishes Sarah

Hi Sarah

Why did you need the date ?, I ordered my AS cert I just wrote a letter gave the quarter and the name and MMN and was able to put down the ref number, the GRO did phone me to ask why I wanted them, as they where under 50 years old, but they did send them out to me.

Sue

Have you put your Uncles details in your tree along with your grandmothers details ? also will the Salvation Army not help you with your search ? did they actually arrange the adoption.

Blackrose

There are 197 Gordon Cooks down in the uk, was your BF local to that area or just working there ?

Sheila

Yes, I have him & my mum & my Gran in my tree on GR in the hope that someone will see it but no luck so far.

I received an email from the Salvation Army Archivist which says 'Sometimes our women's social work officers were asked to assist with finding homes for babies who were adopted, I have checked this adoption record and found that we were involved in the case'

He later says 'Ask your local authority Social Services Department about Intermediary Agencies in your area as we cannot give information to you directly but we would be willing to assist an Intermediary agency'

Social Services advised us that we should register with Norcap and Norcap do the initial research & if Gordon was found, Social services would make the contact with him.

We joined Norcap & paid the £40 membership fee and then a further £150 when we sent them a copy of Gordon's birth certificate. Then I heard back from Norcap asking for another £495 which is an awful lot of money. So, sadly, we stopped.

The Salvation Army did not offer help with the search, only for me to find an Intermediary & they would liaise with them. Do you think that I should contact SA again?

Thanks for your advice Sheila, its appreciated.

Hi Sue

Phone up your SS and see if they will have someone there who can act as an inter-mediator, and ask if they can do is there a fee.
At the moment there seems to be no hard and fast rules about who will charge and who will not, Norcaps prices seems really steep to me, especially given that this a male adoptee that they are tracing so his name will have remained the same.
To be fair if he was given a common surname like Smith or Jones it may involve a fair amount of work, but given that they have the new adoptive name the address at the time and also the parents names, it should not be so difficult to trace, unlike a female who may have married once or twice his name remains the same.

Explain that the SA are prepared to work with them and give them some info, problem is you have to have a designated intermediator, to access the adoptive name, and this gives the monopoly to some agencies to be able to charge. :O(

Have you also posted messages on any other sites ? you know at the very least ask the SA has anyone ever viewed this file and can you place a letter with it telling your Uncle your Mother would welcome contact with him.

The problem you have is given his age, he may not be aware he is even adopted :O( it was very hush hush back then, so it may be a case of trying to get an agency to act on your behalf as he may not be looking for his BF.

Hi Sheila

I have already spoken to SS & explained the situation, the lady who deals with these things told me that their waiting list is 18- 24 months & in view of Mum & Gordon's age, we should not wait that long (didn't tell my Mum that bit!!) She said we should pay Norcap to make the initial investigations/search and if/when he is found, Social Services would make contact etc which would be free. Even though I know where his file is and, as you say, his adoptive name will not have changed, SS said it will still take up to 2 years for them to make a start & Norcap have set fees that they won't change.

Are there other Intermediary Agencies?

I have not posted anything on other sites as I really do not know of any but I think your idea of asking the SA if we could put a letter in his file is a great idea & I'm going to do that - thank you.

I tend also to think that this adoption may have been kept secret and if he is unaware of it, we certainly would not want him to be told at this stage of his life - could he not tell from his birth certificate though?

Sue

Hi Sheila I was led to believe that Gordon Cook was probably born around Carlisle but have followed a couple up to know avail!

sue might help? i know people poo poo them but take it too your local mp and explain that your parents can't wait 2 years any option is worth a try? he may be able to put pressure on local social services? after all my years of working with social workers (fostered 210 children, adopted 4) i know that he who shouts loudest actually works?

Hi Sue

What area are you in what is your local authority ? will see what I can find out, it is not who can help you with records, more who is allowed to get the info from the adoption register.

Blackrose

Do you know Gordons year of birth ?

Hi Sheila - we're in Worthing, West Sussex.
West Sussex is our local authority. Thank you so much.

Hi Grumpy - thanks for that, never thought about approaching our local MP. It might be something to resort to in the future though.

Sue

Hi Sue

Try this site, you are not in one of there areas,

Birmingham Solihull
Coventry Walsall
Dudley Warwickshire
Herefordshire Wolverhampton
Sandwell



but they do say they may be able to still help you or find you another org that can

http://www.adoptionsupport.co.uk/

Good Luck !

Adoption Support are fantastic thats who helped me, so very worthwhile contacting them. If they have to make a charge (and I think it depends on your local authority) that their charges are not as much as Norcap. Good Luck Sue. Keep us in touch with how it goes.

Hi

Thank you Sheila & Captain Pugwash for that - I've just got home from work & seen your messages. I'm going to go on that website right now and, of course, I'll keep you updated with whatever happens.

Keep your fingers crossed!!! Sue