General Chat

morning everyone sorry i carnt mention you all by name today as my mind is elsewhere just like to say thank you all for your wishes for today and hubbys hospital visit for pre opp apiontment ,this time next week he will be in theatre as you can gather im on count down ,gettin myself prepared ,sons girlfriend is cooking tea for us tonight so i dont have to do it when i get back bless her well im of now ill update when we get back tonight hugs to all xxxxx elaine xxx

Hi all, glad I am seeing counsellor today, after a longish break due to her hols and mine.
Back to the old routine after my holiday - can't get myself motivated to do anything much, am just going week by week, currently looking forward to next Saturday's Norwich meet. Nearly the longest day and then I start going downhill with a vengeance, don't know why, except I am sure it is linked with trying to move on with my house when my son was younger, and school hols when I wasn't working yet never got things done. Also my son and I have our birthdays in July and that just reminds me how the years are rolling by, can you see how melancholy I am getting. It is silly when I have a lot to be thankful for but my head doesn't see that. The holiday was pleasant but not long enough and except when I met up with some people off the boards, I only really had his company so was as bad as being here. He didn't get what I meant about having 'me' time, said it wasn't right we didn't do things together.
I felt I was searching for something all the time and not finding it but couldn't say what it was, if that makes any sense. I was very bored a lot of the time tho.
Living with o.h. is pulling me down too, we have nothing in common, I was happier when he was away this weekend, but the time alone wasn't long enough. Also another year going by and no closer to sorting out my life and moving out.
This week he is on early shift so I have to cook everynight for him and put up with his attitude all week as well, roll on Saturday and the meet, and then next week when he is on late shift so I don't have to spend much time with him.
Sorry to be a misery guts, when so many of you have much bigger problems and worries.
Lots of love to you alll and strength to get thru whatever life chucks at you.
Lizxx

Would you flippin Chritmas Eve it?
Counsellor has just phoned and said she can't see me today now, so the earliest I could get was this Thursday but at 1pm and as many of you know, I don't do mornings, will be a real stressful experience to get there then, and was looking forward to talking with her today. Also she told me the cognitive behaviour therapy she was thinking about, is expensive but did suggest I talk to my doctors about them funding it, which should have been done years ago as far as I am concerned. Don't they realise it is my life slipping away with this ocd taking the quality of life away?
P'd off now.
Lizx

H Liz and welcome back.
I hope you will tell the counsellor exactly what you wrote here today, there's a common thread running through all the information.
Please set yourself some manageable goals for a specific time frame. Otherwise one week rolls into another and no progress is made.
We want to hear you sounding happier.
Love and hugs,
Mary

Elaine, I am thinking of you and your husband a lot these days. I expect that sounds untrue.... but please believe me... I do. I hope all goes well for him and that soon you will be back home together, and he will be *fantastic* after his recuperation.
I just remember how you PM'd me about my fears over Allan, so I do know how you are feeling.
God Bless both of you... XXX

White Nancy.... I have been where you are now. An awful lot of us on here have...
I met my second husband 3 years after no 1, had done me the favour of leaving.
Did not realise at the time what a favour it was!
But my recovery from the mentally debilitating state I was in.. well that took a good while to heal.
I thought that I would never get better, that I was a 'third rate' wife and mother. I trusted absolutely no one!
It takes time, but it will happen.
my recovery came without my seeing it happening. I just suddenly thought one day.... My god, I'm better.
As for your sister, Nancy you cannot help her... only she can help herself.
You can be there for her, but look after YOU and all your little family.
Good luck love... and we are all here telling each other all our worries and woes, so you are not alone. XX

Liz.... that must have been a dreadful disappointment for you.
What was the counselors excuse ... if she/he gave one for putting you off today?
After all you were all set up for the visit and then to be let down like that... it would have been enough to have me in tears, so you are not alone.
And... I am with Mary on this one. You MUST tell the counselor that this is not good practice... you need to be able to depend on your appointments NOT being broken. XX

Gail enjoy your time with your daughter.
Your dad will be fine, so don't worry too much. XX

Jeanie.. why would you do that to yourself??
Ouchhh...! ;-0(
I have quite a few hairs too, and I use Tweezers. I cannot use that creme stuff (Veet ?) as it hurts my skin... and I would never do anything to hurt ME! WAX?? NOOOOOO..
And I did not giggle.... I really felt for you.. XX

Now my news of the day.

Because Tony went to his OH's fathers day do yesterday (well you have to give and take don't you?) We all went out today for Allan's father's day dinner.
We took Lisa, who should have had her baby by next Tuesday (C. Section) and the four of us had a really nice day.
A lovely meal...
different on each plate. ;-0)
And Allan had a beautiful Sirloin steak dinner... something he rarely has at home.
Must have really enjoyed it as he did not say much throughout the meal. ;-0)

This will be out last meal out before the baby... so hubby was not too pleased that he had to go to work!! (joking)But still sent us some bedding plants.

It is very dark here now, after a lovely sunny day.. still nice though.

Well everyone....
Carole who never forgets a soul on here.X
Gail
Sue
Gill
Kathy
Ann
Caz
Jules
Christine
Sharron
and the other Sharon
Ben
All the boys, who don't seem to be around much, or am I missing you?
Mary and her family
And anyone I may have forgotten..
Have a lovely time whatever you are doing.

love Deanna XX

hello everyone
Jeannie,I did a very painful thing today too--flicked a dollop of toothpaste into my eye.---not recommended let me tell you.It's still stinging now. Good news about your mum in law.

whitenancy--sadly we all are products of our upbringing and we all have oodles of baggage.
I think insecurity and lack of confidence are par for the course for most people on this thread.My youngest bro is also an alcoholic--he lost a very good job because of it not too mention his marriage and his home.Stay strong,we are all here for you.
Elaine,thinking of you and your hubby and pray that all will be well.
Gill,-hope today has been better for you.
I had an awful day yesterday but not too bad so far today.love and ((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))))) to everyone xxxx

Hello to you........
Just wanted to let you all know im still around and looking on now and again....Hope everyone is ok and im thinking of you all...

Kerry

{{{{{{{{{{~BIG HUGS EVERYONE~}}}}}}}}}}


Thinking of you all.....

All going ok my end....changed tablets yet again..!!
Waiting for an appointment for 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy', hopefully it'll help me with my 'social phobia' & 'Anxiety'. Had never heard about it before but reading up on it it sounds ideal.... :o)


Easter Bunny...... Bet that bought a tear or two....ouch..!!

Jules :o)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't want to put a downer on anybody suffering at the moment, but will you please send up a prayer for a lady I know who committed suicide a few days ago, she hung herself in her garage. She was fragile in many ways.
She is Catholic and leaves young children and I'm hoping the power of many prayers will help..
Thank you.

If anybody finds this offensive please pm me and I will delete...

hello everyone we back after a very long day at stoke hospital with hubby ,well looks like its all going ahead he had all his pre opp tests and opp sceduled for next monday afternoon ,they went through everything with us both ,he being admitted on sunday afternoon ,and theyve booked my room so i can stay there ,and i managed the trip there only hato stop once on way there ,done it without panicing hugs to all be bk on later xxelaine xx

snow white i think you hit the nail on the head i am still scared that when the going get tough my hubby will up and leave or just loose interest like the first one and i will be left to cope on my own again. I was a single parent in all but name for most of my first marriage and i didnt cope fantastically well then.

one bit of good new is that my mum rang me last night manage to get through whole hour and a half without calling me by my sisters name and actually took an interest in my life!!!

but on the other hand my 12 yr old daughter seems to be having a crisis of confidence at the mo. She seems to lack any motivation/will to succeed at anything and she insist on putting her dad on a pedestal even though he constantly lets her down and because he has been off work since before xmas she has seen him once in that time so she forgets that every time she see him he never spend and time with her.

Who said life was easy was a big fat liar

Good evening to all my old friends and the new people I have yet to chat to xx
For many reasons I have not posted recently but those who do know me understand my absence from the thread of late...suffice to say I read all your postings, two of which today prompted me to put ink to paper.
So to Jules, Liz and others desperate for help I will relate my tale.......
Obviously my problems ' challenges' started many years ago but it was when I had to rush to my doctors with a very bad allergic reaction to an in-depth scan that my doctor suggested that I needed to get back on track, anxiety wise.....and for me apply to take part in new therapy course, one could only take part if one was referred by one's doctor, which she did and which I agreed to do.

The course is called: BEATING THE BLUES COMPUTERISED COGNITIVE
BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY.

I received a letter a month ago from a Primary Care Mental Health Service department, which read:

I have recently been contacted by your GP with regards to you starting the B T B C C B T.
If you are stressed, feeling down or unable to cope, Beating the Blues is an easy to use self help computer programme using Cognitive Behavoural Therapy.
Cognitive Behavourial Therapy focuses on the here and now, on what is happening in your life, rather than what has happened in the past. It creates a link between how you think, how you behave and how you feel and targets unrealistic or unhelpful patterns to help you think in a more helpful way.
I am not able to offer you an appointment at this time, as this is a new service being offered in your area .....( I live near Basildon, Essex)..... but will contact you as soon as an appointment becomes available.................

I received a telephone call last week to say they have an opening for me and I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon for an assessment. All I could learn during the call was that by being computer literate, having a computer and possibly a printer would be a great advantage. It was even mentioned that one could do 'whatever', from home....whatever that means?
Will certainly update you tomorrow but with my appointment not till 4pm it will be sometime later rather than sooner.

Am not sure how many of you are aware that this facility is out there, especially with it being a 'new service', which to my mind should have been in place many moons ago...

Though I would post this item so anyone wanting to approach their doctor would have a course title and a little knowlege under their belt.. best of luck to you all xxx

A special goodnight to Y Caz, Deanna, Carole and Ann G..miss you to bits xxxx

JoyceP

Joyce, thanks so much. I will talk to my doctor about it when I see her next week, gosh I have a list as long as your arm, and forgot to book a double apptmt, but she is very good and never cuts her patients short, have had to wait an hour sometimes when she is so behind, but far rather that than a doc who is looking at his watch all the time,as my previous doc did.
I think Malc did this course or something similar.
I will certainly tell my counsellor I don't think the spasmodic apptmts have helped, but she is the therapy manager and sees only a few patients/clients, usually she sees them to assess who best can help but I think there was no one versed in ocd so she decided to try and help me herself and it sort of backfired a bit. Anyway, considering most people have to pay for the counselling she said she would see me for free for a while to see how things went, so I can't grumble too much. I didn't have to wait too long either but was on a different counselling service list and they messed me about for months then said they couldn't help after all.
Will keep you posted, feel a bit better now, but was very tired earlier, so had a snooze for an hour before cooking dinner.

I am glad we are all here for each other, that poor woman who took her own life might not have felt she had anyone to turn to. A woman in Downham Market went missing yesterday I think it was, and they found her body in water a few hours later, she was my age. So sad when things get that bad.
Thank heavens I have never got that low.
Will let you know how I get on.
Lizxxx

Hi to everyone. Been missing you. Have been in pain overload since getting home from my dad. I think that because I am also disabled it was a bit easier to get help put in place for my dad. It really was a ridiculous situation. They let him out of hospital too soon in the first place, now that he is back in hospital he is better off as is getting the care he really needs. It looks like he has lost the sight in one eye, but it will be awhile before they are sure.

Purple, I do know how you feel. We had the same problem with my daughter, her councillor also kept cancelling or was very, very late for appointments. Daughter became even more withdrawn as felt was not worthwhile, as councillor could not keep appointments. Councillor could not see a problem when I pointed out what she was doing, and accused me of being over protective. Our GP ended up talking to daughter on a weekly basis and helped her back on her feet, just by giving her some confidence in herself.

We are all here for each other, please remember that.

Ben I am so proud of you, in many ways you are a very strong lad. You are doing so well.

Very Very Sad, Prayers have been said for you and you friend.

Even when I am away, I think of all of you and wonder how you are getting on. You are never far from my mind, and it is probably the same with all our posters, so there is always someone thinking of you and you never are really alone.

Thank you for all your support. Will try and look back in later.

hugs to all

Gail

Joyce....Thank you for sharing that with us, hope it goes well this arvo, will look in after work to see how you got on. I live in Chelmsford, not too far from you.

Very very sad.....how awful, poor lady must have been desperate, her family must be in pieces....so sorry to hear this. xx

Positive thoughts for everyone for a comfortable & constructive day.

Jules :o)xxxxx

hi everyone hope you all well today ,well ive been doing absolutly nothing i think yesterday caught up with me am drained and tired not sleepy tired but body tired if you no what i mean ,have been to sleep twice today me and hubby have had a real lazy day ,hugs to all elaine ,deanna hope you and hubby are well ,how he doing love? bye for now elaine xx

Any news on Joyce yet...??

Hi everyone

Sorry to have been off for so long .

Did some thing I promised I wouldn't do .Got arm twisted to go back on a committee !!
We had a meeting on Sunday and I found out one of the others is a hypnotherapist .He suggested I go see him today just for a chat .Well I went and he did some sort of rapid eye therapy ???? Any one had that ??

Will have to wait and see if it has any effect . I thought we were just going to chat so didn't have any money to give him .

J arrived home yesterday with some of his gear he was supposed to come last friday .He has gone back today as he still has exams.He still doesn't know if he will get kicked out due to the time he missed following his operation .They have lodged an appeal but we will have to wait and see .If only he had explained to them earlier why he was not attending !!!

Any one else sick of football ? I need my daily dose of soap how dare they take off enders .

Moan over .
Hope you are all having a good day .
luv
Kathy xx

To Liz, Jules and everybody, good evening.

Not a lot to report regarding Beating the Blues therapy course, yet... I attended surgery this afternoon and spent half an hour watching a video which highlighted most aspects of anxiety, stress and other related illnesses. The video mirrored exactly what I read in many persons postings on this thread.

There was a general discussion between my 'clinical helper' and myself about my need to be accepted for the course. I was accepted and start whenever I open up a given website and enter my activation code which was given me there and then, this was followed up by an email confirming same.

So tomorrow I enter this website and start a programme which includes expressing my thoughts, problems and other concerns which affect my daily life and which are detrimental to my lifestyle.

I am not sure how the format is set out, possibly questions and answers?, will be able to tell you more tomorrow night once I have completed the first day's session. I believe one has to have a daily input and then print off the results after a week, what one does with the print off I am not sure.... sorry I am being vague here folks but all will be revealed soon so be patient please.

As was my intention I brought up the subject of our anxiety/stress etc, thread and how so many of our members were being let down by counsellors, time and time again, and desperately needed help from a reliable source such as a NHS Trust..

She knew of only three areas in Essex who were participating in this program, as for the rest of the country she had no knowledge. I asked her what the
criteria was in setting up in other areas, she said it depended on individual NHS trust's being awarded say ten units which would allow them the funds to employ a Graduate Mental Health Worker, equipment required and general running costs, but for what duration of time I am not sure.

I would hope this program is in place all over the country and I will attempt to find out with a little research of my own..in the meantime can I suggest that if you feel the need to go down the route I am taking then chase up your doctor's because if one NHS trust can offer assistance then the rest should follow because the demand is certainly there !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just hope some of what I have imparted make sense and watch this space for an update.

Hi and bye to all of you good folk out there, I have not forgotten you xxxxx

JoyceP

my love and hugs to all

carolina xx