General Chat

put the kettle on for a nice pot of tea,hopeing to change rita's mind about moveing,after all she had been born in the cabin just like 3 generations before her,what was she thinking

of selling up, then he remembered he was a partner in this emporium, ah, he thought there are two things i can do, one buy her out or take the half share and travel even to morecambe or some other distant place, it was a great deal to think about, so he went for a walk down by the canal, just then a very weird thing happened

some idiot went wooshhhhh passed him on a green and red striped pushbike,almost knocking him to the ground,he ajusted his glasses and all of a sudden he could here a scream the scream was coming from down low in the canal,he also noticed about a dozen people standing beside the canal,looks on there faces was enouh to tell him it was bad,and he noticed becky,violet and jason,leanne,todd were amongs the crouwd so he

ran towards them while frantically unravelling the wrapper off his Trebor Mints and offering everyone one.

as he looked into the water he could see floating there a red wig, that looks like one of Ritas he said, oh, no she hasnt done herself in has she, Becky cried, have I eck Rita cried from the back of the crowd, That was pinched off the line after I washed it.
who did it , come on own up, Chesney held his hand up I cannot tell a

lie, it was Schmeical (sp). He though it was that ginger moggy who falls asleep on the walls in the back alley. He grabbed it off the line and I chased him to the canal where he dropped it in the water. Im sorry Rita I'll fish it out and put it in the drier.

Eh lad dont worry, I fancy a change of colour now what do you think, blonde, brown

Chesney was so relieved that Rita didn't give him earache over it he told her thought she'd look good blonde with a hint of red - she was pleased with his comment and headed back to Audrey's. Audrey was still in recovery from Gail's 50th and Gail was still in recovery from visiting her demon child in jail. Through it all though it has to be said, Gail seems to have taken on a new persona - has she had Botox or a personality transplant? Norris had also recovered from thinking Rita had topped herself in the canal and began to think how he could persuade her to take the Kabin off the market. To this end he

put the 'CLOSED' sign on the door and went out the back to enjoy a nice hot cuppa and a read of today's paper. After all, Rita was having fun at the hairdressers so why shouldn't he take advantage of the situation. Taking the paper, he noticed the headlines.............

they read... Lady in the u.k has won the biggest jackpot ever worldwide , she is now a multi millionaire, the lady lives in a small dingy lancs town, it is believed she has a menial job and has always been on the bread line, ..wonder who she is thought Norris and where does she live I could do with a rich wife i must do some searching and I willl begin now ,I have accsess to all newspaper editors being in the business so to speak and

so he started his search thinking, could it be Janice? He'd never found her attractive in any sense of the word but then again if she was the winner of this mega prize he started seeing some positive points. Surrounded by newspapers he was surprised when Rita walked in with a striking blond hairdo. What on earth are you doing and why is the shop closed! He faffed around for a bit trying to think of a feasible answer and suddenly came up with

my keys fell down the grate, i was trying to fish them out, how did you get in then asked Rita smelling a rat, I, um,ah, climbed in through the window the flaming window is two storeys high, she replied, pull the other one! then she spotted the headlines in the paper, so thats what is going on , you are trying

discover who the lucky winner is - you little toe rag!! Norris was affronted - actually he said I was looking in the small ads for an exercise cycle. A likely story thought Rita and asked him what he thought of her new hair colour. Ever the creep Norris said he thought it suited her very well, made her look years younger in fact. Pleased with this reply Rita decided to pop into the Rovers and see what the general opinion was of her new coiffure - she stepped inside and

walked straight into a party for Liz the new multi millionairess!!

Steve looked very proud as he stood shoulder to shoulder with his mother and everyone was toastting Liz. Have I missed somethin said Rita. You were under the drier you probably didn't here said Blanche who was smiling (yes smiling) at Liz.

Just then the Rovers door swung open and in walked BIG JIM.....

it's me so it is Liz he said. She was more than a little surprised when he said he just happened to be passing and thought he'd say hello so he did. What's happening he asked, celebrating something are you. As a matter of fact I am she said, I've come into a spot of cash if you must know. Well there's a surprise so it is he said - and me just happening to call in on speck!! Vernon suddenly appeared from the cellar - he'd been dopwn there a while and missed all the news - on seeing Jim he flew into a range and poked Jim in the eye with one of his drum sticks. Within seconds the Rovers resembled the set of a John Wayne film, broken chairs and tables, glasses smashed and general mayhem. Liz screamed, call the police someone and

in walked a very handsome young policeman, who started to take his clthes off!!

Not now said Michele can't you see theres a skirmish goin on, she ushered the stripper in to the back room.

Just then a bottle zoomed passed Janice's head and smashed the Newton & Riddley Mirror, Oh no said

the whole room,everything was silent,as everyone jut stood still and were looking at the mirror.
the mirror had een donated over 80 years ago,from a local family estate,and had always been thought of as a

as a lucky mascot,rather like the ravens at the tower of London,oerr, said Blanche, now the Rovers is doomed, nothing good will come of this, rubbish shouted
Liz,I will have a new one made exact copy, phew thats a relief said Vernon , who by now was lying on top of Deirdre who was felled in the fight, Ken walked in and said what are you doing on the floor yet again , I have told you heavy drinking at home not in public,Jim lifted Liz up and took her into

the smokers annexe as the back room was full with this and that - as he tried to give her the kiss of life (which she did not need)

in walked Vernon ,so this is what you are up to you slapper he cried ,Jim knocked him to the ground and started to kick him, stop it dad yelled Steve, get out of here, or I will call the police, I already have, said
Blanche, you cause nothing but trouble Jim decided to leg it as he was still on probation, Jim, Jim cried Liz , Its you I

thought I was dreaming - Jim - I wish you would have kept your promises then I would not have married that daft thing with that stupid bit of hair in the middle of his chin - but as it is Jim you had better go and go for good