General Chat

find st peter 129 in your bible and read it to me,it will make me feel safe,help me to sleep and not be affraid of what is about to go down between

Steve had Alex pinned up against the bins,Michelle was in her nightie, crying "why did you do it Alex,you cant steal off us ,if you had wanted anything you only have to ask," get lost he replied, Liz appeared , in the shortest nightie you have ever seen,"let me at him",she screeched ""weres me money, over a weeks takings," Alex replied, "David and I are

really happy together. I bet you did not realise that.

Anyroad, it's Betty's day off & I wonder what she cooks at home. Hotpot solo I'd bet my last tooth, but there's nothing so queer as ........

someone trying to eat hotpot through a straw!

but the onion gets stuck - though if you put it in a liquidiser there is no problem with the straw - just suck really hard or have some soup instead as did Jack when Paul would not cook him a dinner

Dinner? Paul enquired - it's the middle of the day Jack. In my elevated position, we have lunch in the afternoon & dinner over the road at the chippy after a few pints.

Well, the pigeons went mad when pigeon pie was mentioned but relieved when Jack said he hated the thought of feathers blowing everywhere in his large back-garden patio just built from the proceeds of Vera's life policy.

The patio is similar to the smoking area at the back of the Rovers where Mrs Sharples often .......

used to sit with Albert Tatlock talking about the price of hairnets. Those were the days - how racey they were!!! Jack decided that he would renovate the pigeon loft - make it more eco friendly and a bitg up market to boot. He went round to see Jason to ask if he had any wood offcuts and was surprised to find that

Jason, sitting on a upturned box,, crying like a baby
eeh whats up lad asked Jack, Sarah has just told me she is up the duff again, and its not me...well never mind says Jack you can afford to buy that new razor that you badly need, not having to pay

us to listen to this drap story-line. Why not build a groto in honour of Mrs Walker or, better still, in honour of her saintly husband who had to 'put up' with her airs & graces for so many years.

The pigeons would keep company there or, more likely, it might become handy for Roy to hang-out there while Becky & her builder are checking out the size of the bed upstairs.

Talking about groans in the night, did you .........

have any trouble with your sciatica Jack"

please don't mention sciatica again pleaded Jack - a martyr to it I am to be sure. With David banged up and possible due for a long stretch in prison the street was remarkably quiet except for Becky and her builder mate - Roy was having much difficulty in coming to terms with Becky's liberal attitude and felt that it was time Hayley came back from wherever she was doing whatever she was supposed to be doing - surely she wasn't still wearing that red anorak? Roy had other problems at the moment anyway, he had mislaid his shopping bag and feared it had been stolen because in it was

the razor's that he had gone out and brought from the local corner shop,for jason would'nt get of his behind to go ad buy them himself,alwys waiting for

the betting shop to open.

Well, you wouldn't believe it if I told you what happened next! So I will not - my lips are sealed - as Hilda Ogden used to say.

But between you & me - and this must not go any further - Leslie & Hayley have eloped. Imagine that! Janice & Roy will be comparing notes shortly - she with her handbag & him with his shopping bag.

In the Rovers this evening, Norris enquires in his own fashion ...

has anything been happening lately - as you know I never listen to gossip nor do I indulge but feel I must keep up to date with events in order that I may converse with my customers - your customers queries Rita - me laddo - they were mine first then ours but yours alone never

queried how you manage to fit behind the counter with Norris there too. Two fat lumps together! And another thing Rita, talking about fat lumps, when did you last visit your dearly departed
husband(s)?

As Roy will confirm, even in Roman times, the deceased was placed in a tomb that became an alter of worship upon which pious descendants periodically placed some flowers. Norris has just reminded me that you have no descendants - just like himself.

So, here's a suggestion. What you should do now is .....

sell the shop realise your assets and go on a world cruise as Norris will not have the assets you have accrued - there is not fear of him being on the same ship but should you be concerned you could always

start a rumour about him being a wanted criminal - that should keep him off any cruise!!! Rita pondered going on a cruise but remembered the last time she had gone on holiday to Blackpool and that Alan Bradley turned up - very nasty memories. She decided instead to get her hair re-dyed from that marmalade colour to a subtle red again. She wondered if Bet Lynch was still on the go and if so was she still blonde and wearing leopard skin - maybe not. There was no talent in Coronation Street for Rita, or anyone else come to that - perhaps they should try and get Liz to do some speed dating in the Rovers. To this end Rita

headed towards the travel agents. Meanwhile, back at the Platts, Gail was eyeing a letter which had arrived that morning. Nothing strange about that, except it was addressed to Bert & Ivy Tilsley and dated 1960 something and she couldn't quite make out where it had come from and why it had been delivered to her house, especially after so long. It hadn't been re-addressed or owt. Should she open it. What would the contents reveal about that old witch Ivy. That was it! the post mark ended in 'something' 'wich', but which 'wich' and why!

It was David up to his old tricks - remember when he found Ivy's diary?

These thoughts were running through Gales mind, well,was it David! Only one way to find out.