General Chat

Mommylonglegs, I have had a quick look for this unsavoury gentleman and the notes you made about him, but cannot find the original 'warning' sign. Can you help me? Perhaps Joanne Prior got left in Lisbon....or did she embark at all?

Revd Christopher is on his way to exorcise the ghost ... and anything / anyone else that needs it.

MOMMYLONGLEGS: You are needed urgently. I have just received a message from our Assistant Cook, Lindy, it was apparently her who got thrown overboard by the Portuguese Coast Guard and she's now been picked up by a passing fishing boat and she want's to return to our Cruise. She's suffering from amnesia and can't remember whos who (who can!) can you help her? Organise an immediate Rescue? I can't see her name on the original passenger list?

Security here Admiral Dorothy, i have been lurking around keeping an eye on things, heading for cabin 69 to see whats up, could do wiyh Kevin on my team if he's willing, have'nt seen Lisa for ages, should'nt have left her in charge of all those bottles of booze. Just twigged on those thigh lenght boots were probably ment for the princible boy in the panto, ( but why the latex rubber clothes) On my patrol David ( security )

Quickly, Elaine ... confession time now ... could take a long time now. Revd Christopher is on his way.

Steady Doctor LL its not me, I've been in my cabin all day, sitting quietly with my headache, bed sores and bunions. Wish I knew who the fat lady was who has been slung overboard, does anybody know yet? The security around this boat is disgraceful, David spends all his time in the brothel as per Jeans report.lmao

Dr Longlegs, Please stop drinking the wine in the wine cellar and then you won't see old men that disappear into thin air. If that is not possible then please pass the bottle!!!!! Viv the alcoholic landlady in charge of the wine cellar ;-) hic!

Whats this how can you question the security, i'm all on my own Lisa's gone awol drunk in a corner somewere, i have to carry out lots of body searches, get called out at all times of the night, can't get much sleep with all the high jinks from the brothel, and now i've got to sort out this connundrum in cabin 69 with sightings of ghosts and stuff going on, personally i think it's all down to the drink half of them can't stand up let alone see straight, I'm on my way be afraid David ( security )

Hi Jenny, That might have been Mr Depp. He's been wandering around looking for Elaine who left some shoes for the elf to mend. I keep asking but nobody answers - has anyone seen Elaine at all? Security Put that wench down and do your job. Early night tonight - have to audition young Nigel tomorrow. Gwynne (and the elf who has taken up permanent residence, it would seem)

Put that splif out! Viv A.L.

Ok not a happy bunny. Have just been for a stroll around my patch of garden, checking out my plants...and someone has been in there. Garlic plants have been uprooted, herb garden is a right mess, and the carrots and cucumbers...well. Funnily enough the flowers are fine. Maggie

Jenny Dr. L, consulting my sister who's a spiritualist. Get back to you on it. Viv A.L.

Sis recommends Bell, Book, Candle and the Rev. Viv A.L.

Revd on his way for exorcism once he's finished with Elaine and the prospective wife.

Right thats most of the garden put back as best I can at this time of night, my back is killing me will, be going to see the doc for some linament in the morning. Maggie

Thanks Joy, We might get some sleep if we can quieten the Doc down. I'm pretty sure I saw Canibis growing in with the garlic and herbs. I hope the Doc isn't self prescribing! Viv A.L.

Gwynneth - think Elaine's with Revd Christopher ... !!!

Cannabis.......are you sure. Mind you this strange man came up to me and told me he had these magic seeds and to plant them. If I did wonderful things would happen. Will keep an eye on these strange plants. Maggie

Hope the Revd hurries up...to do the exorcism silly! The Doc is a little high. Wonder if we now have a drug dealer on board? Doc, stop moaning. Oh, sorry. Thought it was you. Don't like the sounds coming from the wine cellar. David, we're very afraid! Viv A.L.

David - Security Guard!!!!! I have been told there's a man dressed as a cockerel who is coming towards my cabin; I am going to move my belongings to another cabin: I will be in touch in the morning to let you know which one. Thanks for your work so far: I do hope you sleep well, if not alone! Mommylonglegs! We definitely need to get these 'passengers' sorted out before we set sail tomorrow night for the Bahamas! If anything were to happen on the wide stretch of sea between the Azores and the Bahamas I don't think any of us will be safe. If anything untoward happens to us as we are sailing across there, I wouldn't want to rely on an unruly lot of drunken sluts and ne'er do wells in our lifeboat. I'll speak to you tomorrow. I definitely think we need a roll call, as this Lindy, whoever she is, has perhaps changed her name, we need to find out who she is before we bring her back on board. Although she DID sound very distressed! But perhaps that was just her amnesia talking. Did you let her have a Passenger List?