General Chat

AC Here Reporting back on duty, had to get over the hangover first, but, Hic, sorry, does anyone need counselling? Sorry but I am a bit tipsy so you might have to come back tomorrow and repeat yourself, but you can join me in a drink and tell me all your troubles, as I wont remember a damn thing the next morning, so you can tell me anything. Confidentiality and all that. (but bribery will let me spill the beans, anyone got a bottle for some juice!!??)

Vampira, the cabinboy, my grandson, thinks he's a rotweiler, and one of the dogs, the loyal but alcholic mutt called frankie, is my staffie. Every thing sanitary and above board. I used to the ass cook and. you dit'nt bump into me, was it a very wrinkly slut? or a lazy bugger who can't be arsed?

In confidence only Just been told those damn sluts are in the garden necking again, I can't take much more of this! I'm stuck in here with only alcohol and whinging and wineing people, they are having all the fun. I need a male!!!

I thought it was you I bumped into last night Chief Madam - dont be surprised if you find yourself fast asleep all day tomorrow as well (little nap before sailing! what hogwash) Examined your neck lately??? I dont mind a nice stake now and again though, but easy on the garlic if you dont mind. I'm off now, to do the "rounds" so to speak - perhaps catch you later? Drac the Mortician ps. Red satin cape from Freeman's Mail order Catalogue Page 245, Sizes 10-38 £5. 99 p & p extra!!

Well, it was one of you ladies I met last night (she was wearing a sort of black lace basque, red knickers and had feather in her hair - looked like you Missus - sorry if it wasnt - anyway, she wont be on duty until very late tonight, and will be lunging for any neck in sight - polo-necks might be favourite tonight) dont think it was Lazy Bugger, cos she put up too much of a fight! Drac the Vamp

I sounds as if the drac ran into Kim the alcholic counsellor, I'm sure she wears a feather. Have a good slutty night jean.

Chief Madame - I only had a size 14, but I thought I would tell you about the size 38 - you would have a little room to move about in it!! And another thing, if its a company rule about no knickers, what's all them doing in the laundry - washing their dirty linen in public? Get to your work now and keep them men happy - I'll look for you later!!! Drac the Vamp

My apologies for missing the boat earlier. My elf had left home for the Isle of Wight at 4.30am yesterday I was quite worried as he had not returned. As he left from Southampton, I thought he'd been kidnapped and was on board!! Maybe he was the one who was wailing earlier cos he was missing his soul mate?? Anyway he turned up ok and I made him a lovely meal, resulting in me not being able to board at Lisbon. Let me know the next stop tomorrow and I'll try and make it if that's ok. Hope David saved the thigh boots for me but if you don't need any more sluts, I'm happy to take on any other job. Bye for now. Lynne

Mommylonglegs: We are under way again ow, just pulling out of Lisbon docks....on our way to the Azores. Glad Eileen got on board just in time, what is her job? Not another lazy slut I hope! Wonder how she bribed that taxi driver to reach the ship in time? I'm sorry about the garden, I'd forgotten the Ornate Italian Garden on the upper deck (so the rain can keep the grass green) hope those lazy sluts who are walking with the cabin boy are not rolling around on the wet grass, especially with no knickers on, we don't want them getting haemerroids! They wouldn't like that, because they wouldn't be able to work and Madam Anne (Lynda) would be very cross. I wonder if the Security Guard might make an appearance soon and send them all back to their cabins.

I am finding it almost impossible to use this communication system at present! It either doesn't do what I want it to, or I get 'Page expired' driving me mad!!!! Lynne : You can join us tomorrow, we dock at Porto Delgado, on Santa Miguel in the Azores tomorrow afternoon.... time for shopping before we proceed to the Bahamas.

Sorry, not into this confidentiality stuff, this is too juciey!. Have to tell you guy's, Dr Longlegs just came to my counelling meeting and................. A C

Will do the rounds early morning when you least expect it be afraid David ( security )

Oh Dr Longlegs! You have now revealed what we get up to on our nights out! (pissed & fed!!!!!!) ps. was a good night though, really enjoyed it A C

David, that's a good idea! Catch them all and round them up! This communication system has really got to me, am taking to my cabin, to give my right hand, wrist etc. time to recover for tomorrow.

Dorothy! Do you need councelling!? Hand & wrist? what will you be up to through the night? and then be able to round up what????? My office is available if you want to talk about (and give me some ideas!) A C

Hi Kim: No I don't need counselling: apart from my tendency to lose patience with the communication system here at the moment! I' shall be resting my hand and wrist, because they're tired with pressing the b....y button on my cursor. Cursor's a good name for it! Rounding up...? well, pulling together might be a better phrase, for all those 'Slack Alices' we seem to have on board. Speak to you tomorrow when my temper and wrist is better. 'Nite

Nite nite Dorothy, rest everything, ready for tomorrow!. lol

Sorry Everyone, but A C is jumping ship tomorrow, swimmining back to Eastbourne as they boast the most sunshine in 12 months than anywhere else. See you in the Autumn PS. If anyone needs A councelling, just get another drink and everything will look rosey again. Have a good journey Kim

Appologies to all passengers and crew. The bar was not open today due to sad news. I will re-open tomorrow. Viv. Alcoholic Landlady of the bar.

*Yawn* Morning all. I will be auditioning Mr Depp today. Mr Clooney is on the shortlist and I may re-audition him at some point. I've got used to the Elf's wailing and singing so he may as well stay for now. Any red shoes in need of repair leave outside my cabin and I'll see that he fixes them. Gwynne