General Chat

My son is coming up to 11. Originally he was in a village school near us but after 8 years of reports stating that he wasn't trying, lack of concentration and us asking for an in school assessment we pulled him out. The new school was brilliant and worked with him on his problems and came to compromise on some points-in January this tear he was assessed as ASD/Aspergers but not serious (I am an LSA and have worked with higher ASD children). The consultant says he is typical and noriceable within the first 15 minutes). we have moved again but this time the information has been passed on and he is settling in well. I just wish that it had been sorted when he was younger and I had not felt like a failing mother ( M-in-L and husband also felt the same way as school as the 'school' must know). we actually had a run in with the heamaster who wrote on his report that Alistair would nebver succeed unless he changed his attitude. It took me two hours to calm him down. Life is easier most of the time now and it is only occassionally that we have the tantrums due to misunderstanding.

Wow - what a response!!! I have been at work today, so this is the first time I have checked back on the thread. There seems to be a lot of common ground here - mainly to do with teachers, health professionals, friends and family just not understanding Austistic Spectrum and what it does to our kids. It really is the invisible disability isn't it? The other issue seems to be centred around the fight to get a statement and then get it implemented. At our school (me and Karen's kids are at the same one) we started our own parents group for those of us with SEN children. Its not going any more - have to think about that - but it really helps to have someone to compare notes with. Also, the school can't ignore you if it knows you are all meeting. I am certainly going to have a good look at the website that Nan has suggested - www*adders*org - and hope you all will too. I know there are some others out there who haven't joined in yet - feel free to e-mail me or anyone direct if you would prefer. It can't be said too often - YOU are the person who knows your child best. No-one else is going to do it, so MAKE yourself heard!! Don't let anyone tell you that you are fussing over nothing or that nothing can be done. Read everything about ASD's that you can lay your hands on - plenty of excellent books in your library - so that you know what you are talking about. Don't take no for an answer. Maz. XX By the way - did/does anyone else have an issue with others in the family disagreeing with you over this??

My 3 yr old son has recently being dianosed as probable ASD. I think he has asperger's, though, I'm a long way from having him diagnosed officially. I took him to a doctor with 2 autistic children who told me he thought he was OK and only referred me through one thing I mentioned, the spinning, lucky I said it or he would remain undiagnosed. Thank you Lorraine for bumping this up so it was easier for me to find!

Hi Julie My three were all born in Colchester maternity home, demolished several years ago now. I moved from Colchester to the hells of Harwich nearly 5 years ago. Cheers Diane

Right, Im bumping it up again. Please, any parents of children with ADHD, ADD, Aspergers, autistic spectrum check out the website: www(.)adders(.)org/ (remove brackets) This is a UK based web site for supporting parents of children with these sorts of probs and for adults with these conditions. Caroline who set up the site has a 20 year old with multiple problems and that is why she started the group. Caroline attends all the ADHD conferences all over the country for us and knows the experts personally. There is a very active forum. An experts advice board and even some positive things about our kids with these conditions. Trawl the site for template letters for statementing , advice on exlusions, applying for benefits, and lots and lots of other stuff that you will all sigh with relief when you realise you are not alone!! There is also MSN for online moaning or larfing. Hope to see you there!

Shaz, Sorry for not replying earlier - work!! - and hasn't this thread grown!! No need to apologise for your comments!! My point was that LEA's councils and head teachers encourage children with special needs into their schools for the extra income, but fail to pass the income on to the people with the responsibility, and I have noticed many people mix up the words 'care' and 'patronise'!! As I said in my earlier reply - I would love to do the work again, but can't live on the income!! Also, I probably haven't got the right qualifications now - I may have a degree in Education - got as recently as 1999, but haven't done any of the recent LSA training - ironic eh? maggie

One of my twins,in fact the eldest was not diagnosed until three years ago.He is 43!!!!! Age makes no difference.He is a lovely man but all relationships fail,He is too intense and tries to control his partner.He is totally obsessive with whatever is of current interest to him. He has an exceptionally high IQ as do most who suffer from this disorder. He cannot work as he gets the sack from most jobs he has ever had.He will competely redesign an office,or resheduled an existing working practice.It infuriates his employers as they are not as quick as he is and cannot cope with him.He is a brilliant inventor but cannot get practical things together, To those of you who have young Autistics,you must accept that they grow into adults with the same problems.I spent thirty years telling myself that he would be better. THEY DO NOT GET BETTER. What ever you do keep them OFF drugs. In my experience few medics understand the condition and try to deal with any problems with a chemical cosh. My son manages to live in his own flat and cope for himself. He finds shopping an absolute nightmare as he cannot stand crowds and being surrounded by people. He tends to be fairly reclusive now .He does have agroup of quite understanding friends.He was doing a few hours work a week recently for a friend who runs a reclaimation Centre.We talked bout just relaxing into the job nd not getting too involved.At first it was fine,He enjoyed the odd weekends work but as he got into the job the old problems began.He began to redesign the site. Hwanted to change the methods of retreival and traffic control .He became obsessive again.He cannot help himself and he cannot learn from past experience.He is always right . Inhis eyes we are all out of step.He goes through good and bad phases.When we are ging through a good phase with no dramas,I am just waiting for the Sword to fall. When he crashes he goes right down nd tries to committ suicide. We all try and cope as best we can. Best Wishes Eveyone. Rose

I have a 6 yr old son who is waiting to have a assesment for aspergis. he also has epilepsy, a communication disorder and dyspraxia,he has a left sided weaknes left over from a very servere fit when he was 2 but as he is left handed it is not helping with him learning to write. I have been told he can not be statmented but is placed on the iep register.( I think that is what it is called) Julia

I am a Special Needs Assistant working with children with a range of special needs - physical, emotional and behavioural- this is a job that I thoroughly enjoy and find very rewarding. In my experience most of these children are blessed with caring and understanding parents/carers - so well done to all of you - keep up the good work. Clare

Thanks for the nudge, As I said my son is a trainee teacher, this afternoon his session was about inclusive education. I just thought it would be good for him to see this, from parents' perspective. Thanks Suex

my eldest was statemented a few years ago,the trouble i had getting help was terrible.they kept saying he was naughty.eventually they listened after alot of shouting that he did have a problem.he is dyslexic and did have delayed speach.he has an lsw 4 days a week and is doing really well.my 4th started school this time.what fun!she has delayed speach and suffers from adhd.she too was classed as a naughty child until diagnosed.she hates supermarkets,last visit ended up with me charging out in a temper as some old bag decided to give her opinion,believe me if she had been 20 years younger i would have knocked her block off!!both have settled into school really well.i think people are too quick to judge kids.mine are very good most of the time.come off it we all have bad days!

Can I assure you all that there is light at the end of the tunnel. A friend of mine's son has what I believe to be mild Autism. He has never been diagnosed as such but seems to have all the textbook symptoms (speaking as someone who trained in child care and development.) He has been through the education system and after leaving school went to college. Well, though he was unemployed for over a year he has now got himself a job. It's not the best job in the world but it is in a field that he finds interesting and his parents have had glowing reports about his performance.

I have 3 boys 1 of my boys is 18yrs old now he has ADHD, METHYMALONICACIDURIA and HYPOGLYCEMIA my middle boy is 12 yrs old he has ADHD, speech problems has not long been STATEMENTED only because I pushed it as my eldest didn't get help did test when he was 15yrs and 6months reading and writing ten yr old had more help when went to college and my youngest who is 6yrs old has DYSPRACCSIA not sure of spelling he has problems writing and falls over when walking and might be DYSLEXSIC as well he can't eat food with knife and fork uses hands as they hurt though he is very bright

This is such an important topic I make no apologies for nudging it Rose

Valerie - its spelt Dyspraxia - if you google it you should find a lot of info! Maz. XX

I have to say that I think that it would be a good idea if everyone kept nudging this thread to the top. As some of you know, I have a son who has ADHD and a question mark hanging over whether he has Aspergers. There are times, well most days really, when things become very difficult for us to handle at home. I believe that there are more people out there that have the same problems and just want someone to talk to or ask for advice. It's so much easier talking to someone who know's exactly what we are all going through, rather than talking to someone who dosen't. Could I make a suggestion that everyone deletes their nudges so that this thread hasn't just got nudge on it. Nicola xx

THANKS MAZ FOR INFORMATION WILL CHECK OUT LATER. At least with your thread people know there are not alone cheers VAL

hi maz i have little girl with down syndrome and a boy with dyspraxia and no one has ever offered info on these spacial needs always had to find out for myself. i look at thread board all the time so its nice to see a thread for special needs. sam: )

my 3 boys all have ADHD and survived to make it to 16,19 and 22 my youngest also has dyspraxia and is dyslexic. I am pleased to say my daughter age 20 is fine. As my youngest was leaving school and the so called professionals started to back off i decided to go private and have an assessment on myself as a psychotherapist for the boys suggested i might have it.As the psychotherapist is the only professional i believe in and trust i thought a lot about my past and how scatty my father was-- maybe he had it.This then started my family history search!!! my assessment proved i had it and was the best money ever spent....i only wished social services looked into my family history a bit more before taking my children into care.

Hi Sue I am so sorry that Social Services let you down, I'm afraid to say that unless you pay for something professionals don't seem to listen to what us parents say. I have been battling the system since my boy was 18 mths old, at first they seem to listen and that was only because they thought he might have epilepsy, after that not much happened. My boy is now 8 1/2 and I am now having to got private to get the diagnosis that my son needs. I'm hoping we will at least get some results from the assessments. Nicola xx