General Chat

I'd just like to say that I can empathise with the loss of those that have lost children. We lost our first child through premature birth (21 weeks, officially classed as a miscarriage, but not in my mind), and our situation with regard to our second child is not as it should be. I agree, that there's no loss more painful.

So many sad stories here Devonshire so unfair about the little girl Emma when life is dragged away from an innocent child, and Jenny's sister so sad and all of you who have experienced miscarriages and cot deaths,So very very sad how anybody can deal with that I dont know. Its was really bad for us when my daughter had miscarriage 6 years ago it took us a long time to bring her round after it.! Dave

Yes, my daughter lost a twin at birth, only one survived. The surviving one will be 22 on 6 April, so extra special day for us. Sylvia xxx

We lost a daughter at three months of age. She was born with a massive heart defect, and various other problems such as a short leg and a hernia. We were fortunate enough to have her at home for some time, but when she caught a chest cold the Hospital decided to take her in and operate, although she was the youngest they had ever tried it on. They fixed her plumbing, but the shock was too much for her little body to take and she died. Her Brothers and sisters have a Pilgrimage to Esther's graveside for a family picnic on her Birthday which is coming up on the 15th of April. She would have been 29 this year. After she died I wrote this:- For Esther We had a child so beautiful that God would not agree To let her stay and suffer in this world like you and me; So He has called her home to be a sunbeam in his town, A flower in His garden, and a jewel in His crown. We were very sad to lose her, but we know that He knows best, And thank Him that our faith stood up to this bitter test. We know that He will call us too to see His town, The flowers in His garden and the jewels in His crown. If we’ve been true and faithful through our allotted span, And served our Master faithfully in every way we can, It’s then He will return to us that rainbow from His town. That flower from His garden, that jewel from His crown. Throughout all eternity we’ll share our life with her With all our children, and our dear and loved ones who’ll be there; To share with Him who made us the beauties of His town, And each one have a garden, and each one wear a crown. From Daddy with love.

Jim that is so poignant God bless little Esther Davex

Oh Jean losing two children so young how on earth did your cousin cope with that tragedy! Dx

Oh jean thats terrible. To lose one child is tragic, to lose two ? the pain would be indescribable

My sister lost a son at 6 months due to de-george syndrome - he would be 10 now. I lost twins - early stages of pregnancy in between my first and second sons!! I have to say the sight of my nephews tiny coffin is something I never want to see again! Tracy x

One of my mum's brothers died aged 15. Both her brothers died before their mother, my grandmother. My mother-in-law's first child lived for 2 minutes. My sister-in-law lost a baby in the womb at 5 and a half months and I miscarried my first child. I am thankful every day that my children are healthy. nell

I nearly lost my son twice but thanks to the hospital I am very thank full he is here. My brother's wife had a still birth 20yrs ago and my other brother's girlfriend at time lost a baby at 6wks old but I have not lost any live kids that had been born yet and I thank god I haven't. I did have miscarriage would have been 13yr end march but then I think John would not have been here

Evening everyone, What sad stories! It's heartbreaking to lose a child. As Dave say's - 'it's not the right order of things'. A parent, should never have to bury their children, no matter what age. We lost our 11yr old son, 7yrs ago. His birthday was in February, when he would have been 18. Quite a young man. This has been the worst 'anniversary' for me, so far. Probably because it would have been such a special birthday. I wonder every day, what he would be doing, now. He would have left school now, what career would he have carved for himself. As a tot, he always wanted to be a fire-engine driver. Perhaps that's what he's doing 'up there'. In a baby castle, just beyond my eye, My baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy, Who am I to wish him back into this world of strife? No, play on my baby, you have eternal life. At night when all is silent, and sleep forsakes my eyes, I'll hear his tiny footsteps coming running to my side. His little hands caress me so tenderly and sweet, I'll breathe a prayer and close my eyes and embrace him in my sleep. Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other, I have known true glory - I AM STILL HIS MOTHER. Debbie

Hi everyone just be looking at all th comments.We lost our son in a drowning accident in the late 70s,he was just coming up to his 16th birthday. We often wonder how we got thro it all and still feel the loss greatly. We were looking at some of his old school photos and the pain was unberable when we realised that three other children in the photo were also dead.One suicide one road accident and one from cancer.

Some of these stories are so very sad but reading them you get to understand just a little bit how people feel now, and also at that sad stage in their life. I just hope that my thread has not recalled some of those feelings to much if so I apologise to you! Davexx

Hi Dave, Just 'popped back' for an update. You wrote: 'I just hope that my thread has not recalled some of those feelings to much if so I apologise to you!' Personally, not at all. It's good to talk! He was my son, he lived a happy, but short life. I love to remember him, recall funny stories, things he did, and said. We are lucky to live in a more 'open' society, where these things aren't kept locked away in our hearts, but where we can freely speak about passed loved ones, young or old. Unlike years ago, when they were more likely to hide away the fact that there had been other children, who had died. And thank you, for starting this thread, and trying to understand what it's like. I sincerely hope, though, you never find out. Debbie

Debbie that is beautiful, trying to type through tears! I too am not offended. I lost our baby last month and it was so great to come on here and talk to you guys who gave me so much strength and support. I will never get over the loss of our little angel but you lot have helped me to try.I have to be thankful that I have an angel here on earth still!

Debbie and Kerry I am so glad that you are not offended by the thread and it has helped you to talk about your sad losses. Davex

I`m not very religous and would never force by views on anyone but I found comfort in thinking that our child was too good, too special to be on earth and that god had given him/her their wings early.I know he/she will row in heaven and watch over us until we meet again.I am a mother to 2 children, one here with us on earth and one angel waiting for us all in heaven-until the day we meet again my little one xxxx

Hi Kerry and Dave, That's just how I see it. He was too good to be kept here. Our son died of a cruel, wasting genetic illness. In the end it was kinder that he went to a 'better' place. I miss him every day, but I know he's here, around me. I talk to him, sometimes. What do you think, then...? I only have pictures of when he was a happy, healthy little boy. That's how I want to remember him, not how he was when he died. And I know, one day, I'll see him again, and he will be happy and healthy then too. Like you, Kerry, I'm not religious, but I do believe in a life, when we depart this one. That's where he'll be, when the time comes. Bless you all, these losses are hard at times, easier at other times, but never completely unbearable. I think it makes us stronger, in a strange way. Debbie

Oh Debbie you are truly a wonderful person take care, We had 2 friends one of them made a remark innocently when she was pregnant saying I hope I dont get a disabled child, nothing wrong in the remark we all hope our children are born fit and well,The other lady said to her 'you wont get a disabled child God only sends them to people he knows can cope with them' I believe this was also true people who care for disabled children are so special! Davex

Thanks for this thread. As most of you know we lost our 'angel with broken wings', David (14) to Muscular Dystrophy in February. I would echo Debbie in not wishing the experience on anyone. Having to agree to turn off life support to our son and try and convince your wife that there was no other option has taken something from me. For those who gave support we are not too bad. David would have been 15 on the 27th of this month which also the birthday of his twin Matthew, so that will be a strange day. I know from the mails I have received that many have been or are in similar positions.Some I know personally. Let our thoughts be with them all. Bob