General Chat

I come from a VERY large family....and over the years have we have been fortunate, however this past week we lost an much loved, and anticipated baby girl......the story follows as the newpapers reported it this past Thursday......Sarah, my niece, does not yet know we have lost our angel as she is still in a coma as I write: Woman loses fetus in crash Thursday, March 31, 2005 Deptford police cruiser broadsides her vehicle By JASON NARK Courier-Post Staff DEPTFORD A Pitman woman lost her unborn child and was seriously injured after her vehicle collided Wednesday morning with a township patrol car responding to a call, authorities said. Sarah Donovan, 24, who was eight months pregnant, remained in critical condition Wednesday night at Cooper University Hospital in Camden, Deptford Police Chief John Marolt said. She was undergoing exploratory surgery to identify the source of internal bleeding, Marolt said. Patrolman Michael Taylor, a 12-year veteran, was treated for his injuries and released from Cooper. Donovan was driving north on Delsea Drive and was making a left into the Brunswick Zone bowling alley when Taylor's northbound cruiser hit the driver's side of her Mazda 626 around 10:30 a.m., Marolt said. Taylor's cruiser drove the Mazda through a utility pole, snapping it, and an additional 30 yards onto a grassy area, Capt. Dan Murphy said. Barry Marchetti, who was at the United Auto Land used-car dealership across the street, said he ran over to help the woman. 'I was trying to talk to her and keep her calm. Nothing heavy . . . simple stuff,' said the 62-year-old minister and retired tractor-trailer driver. 'I was also praying for her.' When he reached Donovan's car, Marchetti said she was unconscious but still buckled into her seat belt. He said Donovan had blood on her face from her smashed eyeglasses and both legs pinned inside the crumpled wreckage. She was in and out of consciousness, he said. Marchetti's eyes welled up when he learned Donovan had lost her unborn child. He said he comforted her for at least 10 minutes before paramedics arrived.

Oh Judy how very very sad,for your niece your family and you,how often that sort of thing as happened here too!Police responding to incidents! So sorry for the loss of your niece's baby but I pray that she recovers. Davexx

Dave I agree that no matter what the age, it hurts so much to lose a child. Mum was devastated to lose my older brother 12 years ago and asked why it couldn't have been her that was taken instead. My sister and her husband lost their first baby at 10 weeks old, -unexplained infant death syndrome.It was just days after Christmas so that is always a bitter sweet time in our family. I feel for all who lose a child, but feel that sometimes the menfolk don't receive the same support and concern that is extended to the ladies. The hurt can be very real for them too.

Hi Gwyn and Dave, Almost the same story as you Gwyn. Our God daughter died at 6 months on Dec 28th 18 years ago. The family lived 3 doors down from us and I will never forget the screams of grief or that dreadful day as we sat waiting for the doctor. Gwynne

Before I was born my Mum had a baby girl my elder sister Linda she would have been eldest.She lived 3 months and died of what they would say now a cot death! In my research on here I have the birth certificate and the death certificate. It upsets me so when I look at my dear Dad's name to witness both events, I think about my Dad being so proud getting the birth certificate of his first born and then a short time later going for a death certificate it is so unfair isn't it. Davex

My brother lost his 10 year old some years back in a horrific accident. They never recovered from this. I think you continue living but part of you dies too.

My S I L lost 2 of her children a boy of 29 been in a hospice 7 years with a brain tumour and a girl of 34 with a brain hearmouridge(spelling) she left hubby and 2 little boys the youngest one was only 4 Linda

3 friends have lost children over the years. 1 at 6 weeks to SIDS. One on Dec 28th a few days after his 2nd birthday as a result of choking and the 3rd was at 22 months as a result of choking. I still think of them so I don't know how the parents get by. Judy, best wishes for your neice and hope you soon hear some good news about her. Jacky :-) PS SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Sydrome - or Cot Death.

Losing a child is something you never forget, also I have never forhotten one I lost before he was born. I worry about these girls that have abortions, I know sometimes there is no alternative, but how will they feel in later life? June xx

Don't let them say I wasn't born, That something stopped my heart I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I've loved you from start. Although my body you can't hold, It doesn't mean I'm gone, This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on. I know the pain that drowns your soul, What you are forced to face. You have my word, I'll fill your arms, Someday we will embrace. You'll hear that it was 'meant to be God doesn't make mistakes,' But that won't soften your worst blow, Or make your heart not ache. I'm watching over all you do, Another child you'll bear, Believe me when I say to you, That I am always there. There will come a time, I promise you When you will hold my hand, Stroke my face and kiss my lips, And you'll understand. Although I've never breathed your air, Or gazed into your eyes That doesn't mean I never 'was' An angel never dies.

That is lovely Bev Davex

hi dave, my sister lost her little girl at the age of 2. this is going back over 40yrs... i dont think my mother ever got over it.... couldnt make any sence of it. i was a kid myself then, i remember the atmosphere for years.we learned never to mention my little neices name,and hedged the subject fearing the pain would return and somehow we would appear callous . our family never could talk openly. i am sure looking back my sister would have prefered us to have carried on appraising her beloved child, and included her in conversation asserting the value of her treasured rememberance. she had more children, but the thing that got me most about all this is when asked people just say i have one child, or three children etc. and dont mention those they lost like it never happened. i think i would want to say- i have three surviving children. and that would leave it open to talk about those who were born, but lost ???? perhaps we are more open about our feelings today ??? sad subject dave..but your right to make us think about these things..it makes it worse to bottle things up ,rather than face it..... xkx

We lost a much wanted fifth Grandson in 2000. he was 'born asleep' prematurely. had he gone full term he would only have lived a few months, he had Edward's Syndrome, a chromosome imbalance. It was devastating for our son and his wife and for us, his Grandparents and he is never forgotten. I have to praise Milton Keynes hospital here as they were marvellous and we have his photo to keep. Sometimes people forget that grandparents can hurt too. Maybe we get a double dose of hurt. We lose a Grandchild and we can't heal the hurt our children suffer. I feel so much for the raw pain that is expressed here, I am so sorry for all of you who have lost much wanted children, either before or after birth, as children or adults. Ann Glos

Bev that was beautiful, I am sat here in tears!

I went though the I.VF. programme and had 2 healthy eggs put into my womb and lost one of the babies- i felt for my daughter because a few weeks ago at school they had a nurse in talking abou the facts of life and having a baby.At the end of the talk the children were asked by the nurse who had a brother or sister-my little girl put her hand up i said she should have had a brother or sister but it died in mummy womb and some of the children called her a liar-she was so upset that i had a word with the nurse, and the out come was that the nurse did go back an explain to the children about different ways of having a baby. MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH EVERYONE WHO HAS LOST A BABY AT NO MATTER WHAT AGE. Lizz xx

My mum was adopted when she was 4, and my gran was forced to give her up because my great-gran, who was widowed, couldn't afford to support both of them. My gran later married and emigrated to Canada. In the meantime, when mum was 21, her adoptive parents put her in touch with her grandmother, but her grandmother kept her and her mum totally apart for the next 30 years. They finally met after my great-gran had died, and my gran flew over here. Mum intended to visit her too, but she became ill and died a couple of years later. My gran was, and still is devastated, 15 years later. She always tells me how sad she feels to have lost her baby twice over, and that the grieving has lasted a life time. Even more poignant is that she married twice, losing her first husband 3 days before the end of world war 2, but couldn't have any more children.

When I was fifteen, my twelve years old sister died of Kidney disease. It was expected, but still came as a shock to us all. Just dont know how my Mum coped with it all. Especially as she had six other children to look after. I have had six miscarriages. The last two being especially traumatic, as my husband, had never been married before and has no children. We were devasted when I miscarried twice in 12 months, at 12 weeks. Jenny.

My SIL and husband lost a baby to cot death. It was over 35 years ago I believe, she still says she is a mother of 4 children. The way it just trips off her tongue, is in itself heart rending. God Bless all in the situation. What could be worse? Nothing! Deanna X

My daughter lost her baby in 2001 at 51/2 months due to a chromosonal disorder...although she wasnt yet born it has had a devastating affect on all the family. Her big sister, now 5, still talks about her baby sister in heaven. She now has a baby brother who she is very protective of. Vickie

Morning All This thread has really got to my heart in a different way, some of you may have read my thread (please say a prayer) and know of my very good friend Holly's fight for life in I T U this week, her devasted parents kept saying yesterday that it shouln't happen to a child and it should be them lying there now in a hospital bed.......for parents to go such an awful thing is incomprehensible. Holly this morning is continuing to open her eyes but remains on a ventilator we have spent all weekend there playing her favourite music and reading all the latest celeb gossip to her (something she loves!!) We are praying everyday for a little sign our Holly is trying to come back to us. Sarah x