General Chat

''PRIME MINISTERS APPOINTMENTS NEW THREAD'' ' PRIME MINISTER DAVE BENNETT PA YVETTE! DEPUTY PM AND EDUCATION SECRETARY GUINEVERE!,, HOME SECRETARY GRAMPA JIM,,! ART&CULTURE MINISTER 'CULTURE VULTURE' (Rht Hon member for Kensington & Chelsea)UNDER SECRETARY CULTURE BEV B! JUNIOR MINISTER FOR YOUTH LUCIA WALLBANK!,, HEALTH MINISTER BEV FROM BRIDGY!asst Strump!,, MINISTER FOR FUN ALI!,, FOREIGN SECRETARY LINDA FROM BOLTON! SPORTS MINISTER 'TWIZZ',, RURAL AFFAIRS ADY IN BLACKPOOL!,, ''CHANCELLOR JAQUI ETCHES'' DAVID OWEN! MINISTER FOR IMMIGRATION/EMIGRATION,, CHIEF HANGMAN FRED THE YOUNGER!,, DEFENCE MINISTER KERRY!,, BENDY WENDY MINISTER OF DIPLOMACY,, ' 1ST LORD OF THE TREASURY (new appt),, MINISTER FOR ESSEX AND CHAVS! BEC!, under sec STEEDIE!,, SPEAKER BRIAN (i),, MINISTER FOR WHALES AND DOLPHINS! BRYAN C,, MINISTER OF UNIFORMS SUE SMITH! ,, HIGH COMMISSIONER AUSTRALIA TONY HULL,, MINISTER OF LEGENDS EM C! ,, MINISTER FOR NORTH EAST ANDY OOP NORTH! ,, MINISTER FOR HELPFULNESS 'MAZ' off sick at present,, LEPRECHAUN MINISTER VACANT,, MINISTER FOR WORSLEY 'OLD MOTHER DEMDIKE',, POET LAUREATE DEE ALSO SILLY WALKS MINISTER,, MINISTER FOR CONSTITIONAL AFFAIRS 'PENNY DICKEN',, ENVIROMENT VICTORIA FIELD MINISTER FOR FOOD JENNY(MOMMYLONGLEGS) LOTTERY MINISTER ('TERI') MINISTER FOR BRISTOL 'MAGS' MINISTER FOR NOT LISTENING 'ELAINE IN READING' MINISTER FOR TURKISH AFFAIRS 'MAGI MINISTER FOR MERSEYSIDE RI'HT HON SIR DANIEL LONGMAN,, PAUL SMITH MINISTER FOR COWS AND ROUNDABOUTS! MINISTER FOR 'COWES' I.O.W JULIETTE VENTRESS! MINISTER OF TRANSPORT VACANT MINISTER OF SOCIAL SECURITY 'MHAIRI' MINISTER FOR EUROPEAN AFFAIRS HELEN NISSERON! MINISTER FOR DRINK 'BEVE B' MINISTER OF TRIVIA AND BEAR PROTECTION BARONESS SALLY! MINISTER FOR EMPLOYMENT 'RUPERT BEAR' '''UPPER CHAMBER LORDS'' BARONESS JOY OF THE 'PURBECKS' 'BARONESS PINK OF STAMFORD' for 'charitable work in excellence' 'BARONESS GAYNOR OF STOKE POGES' because she is our darling, 'LADY LEPRECHAUN OF THE FENS' 'BARONESS JAQUI OF PROVONCE ' Jaqui Etches 'BARONESS SALLY' 'BARONESS GWYNNE OF RIVENDELL! there will be more announcements later of more appointments! I hope these people will be able to take up these appointments Dave. WELCOME BACK LORD NUTTWOOD!

TONIGHT IS RUPERTS PARTY WHICH WE ARE GIVING HIM BECAUSE WE APPRECIATE HIM AND HIS RETURN TO THE GOVERNMENTS FRONT BENCH AND THE 'CABINET' ALTHOUGH I WONT BE HERE TONIGHT I WILL BE ABOUT DURING THE DAY TO HELP ORGANISE THINGS FOR IT AND I WISH HIM WELL IN HIS NEW POSITION AS MINISTER OF EMPLOYMENT!!!

Looking forward to it. Stel..............

Over the last few days we have re-organised and more importantly re-united the party we are now very strong and hopeful of being re-elected the exit polls say we should get a large majority.I am very happy that Ministers like Mrs Etches Sally and Rupert have returned after their brief disagreements with me. I am especially grateful to my deputy Baroness Rivendell 'Gwynne' for her support in those difficult days and also to the other more junior ministers who also stayed loyal. Tonight I have to attend a soccer match part of the election build up dont want to go really 'lol' We still have the threat of the Leprechauns Party and the Kangaroo Party are jumping up the ratings lead by their leader 'Skippy'. Over the next few days my Ministers will be making their proposals for their individual departments efforts to return us in a few weeks.

BOING BOING BOING *kangaroo chuntering noises* BOING BOING

Apparently there's a kid stuck down a well near the north pasture. Gwynne

Honestly Gwynne sure 'Skip' will get him out he has gone for the ladder!

Well hope Rupert is allright he is being very quiet for a little Bear today hope he enjys his party today or tommorrow!

My PM , I have been thinking of ways in which we as a govt,and I as a drivingforce ( mind my Jaguar ) can bring the many lay abouts ,and I use this term very liberally, back into the workforce. My first measure was to enforce the rigorous medical on those so called ill or disabled workers. Following on from this, watch was kept on all places of entertaiment including pubs dance halls etc. A typical case involved a young man who claiming disability through loss of an arm was found to have 3 legs,ideally suited to operate the new foot operated keyboard. When challenged he gave his name as Jake the Pegg. Obviously a round peg in a square hole. It is a disgrace where able bodied men and women are claiming benefits because they will not work and I intend to see that all such'scroungers' are promptly taken off benefits and shipped to our European cousins(free of charge ) . Those people who have been 'unemployed' for 2 years or more will be given the opportunity to find work within 1month or they will be put on social work such as rounding up stray kangeroos and lep-- (still cant spell that word ) little people. Male members of the workshy group found living on the earnings of their wives,partners or girl frinds will have all benefits stopped and provided with separate living quarters in the form of one person tents without bedding etc, They will be responsible for earning their own corn (Stealing off the bird poulation will be harshly dealt with) and under no circumstances will they be allowed to act as scarecrows. This idea will go against the whole idea of getting back to work. I will be grateful if the Chancellor and the minister for the NHS could in form the houseof the following:- Cost savings on benefit claims. Cost savings to the NHS in providing free drugs Etc. Rupert Bear (im in charge.)

A Party!?!?! Count me in... will there be babycham??? Must go and find my white stilettos and handbag (to dance around!) love excited becx (Minister for Essex)

I have put very nice picture of Bennett Babe Bendy Wendy on pics page if anybody wants to look!

Goody having party tommorow wont miss it!

I'm grateful for the airbrushing, PM - so kind of you. xx

Sally (senior moments) nobody told me the party is off tonight. O great one might be going to watch a footer match( who is that MU(baaa) or is he watching Arse(hurrah) against Chelsea booo) on Sky. Rupe is so poor he cant afford black and white TV. If the minister for licenses dosnt stop sending his heavies around there will be big, big trouble I wont be on anymore today Lady Bear is on the war path cause she thinks I should be giving her my undiluted attention. I tell you fella's being retired dont arf take it out of you. Rupert

You're a marked man now - your time will never be your own again. Unless you buy a shed.

Hello folks - glad the party's been postponed because I forgot I have a prior engagement (Ruby Wedding party for friends)but I also forgot that Thursday is my Salsa night (well, Bossanova, Cha Cha Cha etc but will get around to the Salsa no doubt) so I wont be able to attend tomorrow either - HOWEVER!!! My staff have been given instructions to pack up all the remaining choc bars, soft centres, liquer chocs etc (and those cute little chocolate teddies) and get them round to Sal's for the party - so the Milk Bars are on me!! The PM will provide the drinks - all sorts - alcky and otherwise - no restrictions - no cost of anyone other than him! Jamie Oliver and Pierre White are busy preparing the most scrummy horses duffers as we speak; Delia is on hand to take orders for plainer fare (such as Spotted Dick and Snake and Pygmy Pies) Desserts will be prepared by that rather lushious young chap (James somebody) who does wonderful things with boiled sugar - just pass your orders and he'll boil your sugar for you!!! Sorry I cannot be there - but enjoy! It's all free - its on the House (of Commons that is) - forget the election for one night, as of course the country has already. JAX Chancellor (who will eventually get the bill from the PM no doubt and will put it all down to corporate expenses)

Back from footy match now my team Man City beat Birmingham 3-0 so i am happy but a bit tired so have early night and get ready for Ruperts party tommorow should be great all welcome! Davex

Will there be jelly and ice cream? Gwynne

Where is our P.M. this morning! :))

He's chatting up the ladies on another thread, Christine. Gwynne