General Chat

Just to tell everybody that Rupert(Rays) wife Barbara is having surgery tonight lets all hope that everything turns out well.! Dave

Am sorry to hear about Rupert's wife P.M. I do hope everything is alright, thinking about Barbara, take care there Rupert.

Hope all goes well for Barbara, Gwynne

STATE OF THE NATION There are now possibly no Leprechauns left in Ireland because they now live here in either England or Wales plus the ones that are helping the Isle of Man with their invasion more of that later.Im sorry If Paxo asks me but I dont know how many there are. Kangaroo's I beleive there are over 50,000 and rising daily they are getting quite cheeky now and have started to take our jobs, only last night one served me in my local chippy.Scotland is now completly independent from Westminster government and they have started building a 50ft wall to stop us getting in. The North East have a new cultural attache some Bear, Gaynor I think and at present she is on a tour of the Uk taking in all the sites not sure at present where she is. Cornwall Im glad to say the the Pasty Mines are proving very profitable as are the Black pudding mines in Lancashire. Wish the Scots had stayed with us I used to love going hunting for Haggis up there. We are now proposing to use the Isle of White as a prison a bit like Alcatraz we are hoping to attract some Sharks to the area to stop Prisoners escaping. I will report on other areas of the Uk later. The Manxmen have been driven back down the East lancs towards Liverpool and we are well on top of this menace we have caught their leader Norman Wisdom but he keeps falling over laughing and pulling silly faces shouting Mr Grimsdale.

Hi everybody just a quick update Rupert(Ray) has e mailed me and Barbara has had her appendix out today and she seems to be on the mend, I send them both my best wishes. Davex

Sending lots of good wishes to Barbara, hope she soon recovers, take care both of you :)

nudge for Rupert! Dave

Just wanted the constituents to know, We have no mad cows here, and only a few mad people in Cowes, so please remember your votes count, on Thursday. That's the general election day, for those who hate politics! Juliette - Minister for 'Cowes' I.O.W. P.S. That was a partly political broadcast !!!

This is a party political broadcast on behalf of me and Dave or Dave and I. As from the ^th may when we have been returned to power I will be introducing new measures to combat the growing traffic jams which are becoming intolerable. You will recall that certain measures have been put into place . these further points are in addition to those previously referred to in the last parliament. Between the hours of 8am and 9.30 am all company vehiclesdelivering goods will be banned from the roadways. Between these hours only public transport ( omnibuses and school coaches ) will be allowed together with private cars where parents take their little darlings to school to be on the roads.(Thats a vote catcher for the women) Company vehicles will not be allowed at any time for private use, this will see about 50 percent of cars with only the driver using it off the road. for example no going home for lunch or arendevous with the next door neighbour at all hours for nerferious activities. This should also account for a fall in the number of divorce cases and a dramatic decrease in the birth rate. This measure will kill 3 birds with one stone. At 3 pm ALL grass cutting vehicles , builders lorries and heavy goods vehicles shall be barred until 4pm from using roads where there are schools. All schools shall make provision for off road parking when mothers collect their little monsters er i mean darlings. Suitable timings on a surname basis shall be laid out by the school caretakers.Only the little devils I mean the;ittle treasures between the ages of 5 and 8 shall use these cars. all the others can walk like wot I used to. Between 4.45 pm and 7pm only private cars transporting at least 3 people will be allowed the use of motorways etc. The etcetera bit will be made later. That was a party political broadcast by the > party, saving valuable debating time when we are returned to power. Rupert Bear Minister of Transport.

Hi Rupert, You forgot one thing - caravans only allowed on the roads 8pm - 8am Gwynne PS Looking forward to Dee's posting tomorrow.

Morning ministers morning everybody. Only two more days left and then we should be re-elected but not counting my chickens yet! I hope that the country see's sense and realises that we are the right team to lead for the future.!

Very Apt indeed Dee Dx

Good morning Dave and Dee, My previous post proves I'm a very able politician, I believe. Gwynne

Prime Minister, Have we got a group joining us for the big day nameley Dave Dee Dosey Mick and Titch. Am I with you the only ones running our campaign which ends tomorrow. I have not seen much of the rest of the cabinet but no doubt they will join us for the big celebrations. Off to do a bit more kissing of mothers they like itv the babies dont. Rupert.

Rupert, Won't Beaky be with the rest of them? He hasn't left and joined the Raving Loonies or Ukip has he? Gwynne

Yes the babies dont like me kissing them Rupert think it is the booze lol! Dave

Prime Minister, Rupe and all!!! I have been at the hustings until quite late every night for the past two weeks, and I can tell you I am really tired! I have had no sleep and am thoroughly fed up with kissing pensioners, patting housewives on the head and reading the riot act to toddlers!! I think I have secured my position in my constituency - Big Brenda has promised a full turn out of her mates and each one has been warned (err.... I mean advised) that the X has to be against my name. My only serious opponent, Robinson Smythe-Wychenshawe III (the local Communist party) has seen fit to campaign in a rather dirty manner - calling into question my past involvement with the rhubarb-forcing debacle (anyone can make a mistake - I didnt realise that too much rhubarb in the community has the effect of closing down the local sewerage plant effectively!!) A means to a end, after all! However, there is no contest and he is well aware of this and will no doubt concede once his gran and girlfriend have cast the only votes he's likely to get! Fear not PM, if one seat is safe it's mine - 40 fags works a treat with Big Brenda - have you tried this method? I dont bother with posters and flyers any more - hand out the fags and larger No doubt the rest of the party are hard at work and will report in as and when they get time. The Chancellor - Jacqui of Provonce

fellow right hons i am off tomorrow for a fact finding tour of Cyprus & Egypt only to see how the health sevice there works you understand i assume i will be able to charge this trip to expenses??????? oh and a few extras the St Tropez/manicure? Bev minister for health

So glad you are all hard at work on the hustings I myself think I will be returned handsomely Im so popular on here especially the 'southern vote' and I have people actively campaigning for me as we speak.We seem to have overcome our problems with the little people and the kangaroo's as well. So ministers and members go for it 2 days to go only. Dave PM

Morning Ministers todays the day Im sure we will returned to power of courseToday we will all be busy in our contituencies,There has recently been a threat to us from the Fraggle Rock party but I am sure we will see off that menace like we did the Kangaroo's and the Leprechauns.The exit polls say we are sure be returned but in my own particular case I am not very popular in the south for some reason.Rupert I hope Lady Bear is well and able to help you be returned as the Member for Nuttwood today and also my deputy Gwynne is returned in the Midlands,as I hope all the rest of my ministers are.Just one last thing watch out for the Fraggles! David Bennett PM.