General Chat

Mrs P you have started a ggod debate - and you thought about deleting!!! lol I think the world has gone PC mad and that is why it is full of Rapist's, murderers, muggers, the list is endless................. I'm not saying beat kids far from it but stricter boundries are needed when they are growing up- whether that be a smack, a look, grounding or whatever works with your child. The problem is that some kids are set no boundries and are left to their own devices and are running amock with no respect for anyone not even themselves.

A smack never did me any harm, and I was smacked practically every day by my father who was a teacher, I begrudged it most when I felt it to be unfair. I smacked my eldest son most, the second one only needed a raised hand and by the the third, I reckon the ground rules had been set and he behaved by example. They are all well mannered and parents themselves to well behaved children.

I haven't read all the replies on this thread - only here for some dinner and then off back to work - but I read some with interest. I was smacked as a child if I 'asked for it', but to be honest I don't think I can actually remember any one occassion - so it left absolutely no scars for me. My Mum had me and my Brother and Sister who are 6 and 8 years older than myself, and she needed to have control over us and wanted us to be nice children and grow to be decent adults. We knew the line that wasn't to be crossed and had a healthy respect for our parents - if we didn't cross that line then all was well, if we did then we knew we would get punished. If anything I believe it did me good - I learnt about being responsible for your actions and not blaming others for your mistakes. I grew up to be polite and well mannered and generally pleasant to people. Most importantly of all there was a 'balance' - my Mum always was (and still is) a lovely, warm and caring person - she has always been there for me and always made time for me. I do not remember the occassions when she needed to smack me, but I do remember MANY happy occassions with her. I had a well balanced childhood where discipline was only used when necessary. Kaye x

Mum and dad use to smack us and Im glad they did it taught us respect and you knew when you had done something wrong. Dad hit us harder than mum, but one day mum hit my brother and I for fighting, she hit us so hard she left a hand print on us, after that she said she would never hit us again. We got smacked when we deserved it, I havent had any children cos I couldnt but yes I would of brought them up the same as I was. I adore my mum and dad and glad they taught us manners and respect.

My dad smacked me once! and I deserved it! He never, ever smacked me again as the mere threat of it would stop me in my tracks. It worked with me, I was a polite child and respected my elders and I don't feel traumatised by it in anyway. I do however feel quite traumatised going to the shops near by at about 3.30 because all the children from a local school are by the shops causing havoc,being rude and disruptive. Swearing infront of and at adults, spitting as you pass them. So do I agree with smacking your children to disapline them. errr YES would be my answer.

As I said before on this thread last nite 'one person's smack is another's child abuse'. Surely the real question is what is the best way to discipline children for a) their own good so they do not injure themselves or others (ie dont put your hand in that fire Jonny) b) to learn the difference between right and wrong and c) to accept authority. Lets face it, as a society, we seem to have lost authority over a fair proportion of our children. And who is to blame? We are! Is smacking the answer? I dont know. Is it abuse? If done in a gentle way and NOT in anger I think it probably isnt. Was I smacked as a kid? Yes, and to be honest I probably deserved it. What sticks in my mind much more was being sent to my bedroom to 'think' about what I had done! THAT had a much more profound effect on me as I resented it greatly as a child! Gerry :-))

Hiya Hays Hun (very thought provoking thread btw) I was smacked as child.....smacked my own childers too...hubby wasnt and didnt smack ours either....our kids (both grown up now) have more respect now for him than me..(they say to smack is to lose control) On the other hand....working in a Nursery with 4 year olds...the children who do get a smack seemed to be better behaved than the ones whos carers stand there ages *reasoning* with their toddlers! So reckon what discipline is right for some children is not ok for others. (and also depends on age of child) XxX Update - Agree with your points there Gerry! x

thank all for your adds...great reading!xxxxxx

I don't think smacking solves anything, I don't smack my children. There are other ways of 'punishing' rather than being physical. Put it this way, if you were smacked in the street for example, by someone else, wouldn't that be classed as assault? I remember when I was a child, being smacked, I even had a packet of biscuits whacked off my head, things like that aren't nice are they?

as for naughty stair it doesnt work and i wont send to bedroom as punishment cos i dont want them scared of their room so they wont go to bed at night. Added by Yummy Mummy.........so agree!!!! Brenda.PC!! the worlds gone mad!!! Mags...thick ear comes to mind!!!!!!!!!!

often got a smack from my dad. never did me any harm

Hi , i was smacked as a child some times from my mum and sometimes from my dad but never really hard. usualy my dad would just give me that look and that would be enough for me to shut up. no it was my sister that was always hitting me she was a bully she wouild hit me every opportunity that she got .until one day i retaliated when i was 15 and she was 24 she never hit me again. hazelx

The look that said 'wait till u get home' LOL!!!!!!!!!! seems that did the trick for a lot of us!!xxxxxxxxx

To be honest you'll be dammed if you do or not ! I was smacked by my mum and would rather have that for a punishment then be nagged at or kept in , Coz if she kept me in she would go for hours and I mean hours.... I was caned at school and given the pump on my bare legs and wept for hours, my mother went mad when she found out. Yes I smacked my eldest son and he never lets me for get it ..as I only used to look at the others and they knew... Great thread by the way Hayley P... We all think we know whats best for our children. We all think our to way to bring them up is the correct way.

H,u got the cain??? it had been banned when we were at junior school.....u must have had it young?!

lol only in secondry school Hayley I was a little rebel tee hee..

Hayley by name Hayley by nature!!!LOL!!!!!!!

Thanks for the pm Mrs P. The other thing about smacking is if you went to a friends house and you done something wrong and got a smack off your friends parent(s) and went home crying and told your mum or dad what you had done, got another smack as well. I was a child of the 60's and if that was done now the parents would probably sue the other parents. Mum use to say to us ' Wait till your father gets in' omg we would beg for mercy!

We got more than a smack we got the cane and slipper ifr we were caught doing wrong then we knew about it...looking back i hated my parents for that...but now i feel because they did i am a better personxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((((:

I got smacked, occasionally, as a child, but learnt to run instead. Like others, when I was at school, particularly in Scotland, where I started at the age of 5, there were various punishments - the slipper, cane, ruler and tawse ( wide leather strip, with the ends cut, the whole thing folded over for extra pain)- and the hand!! Every term, the class had to line up and receive one of these punishments - just to keep us in line. this had a much more profound effect on me than my parents - at least I could run away from my parents!!!! I remember once, school was closed, heating off, bus didn't turn up. Me and 5 others were shut in a classroom to wait for it. It was freezing, so we started jumping up and down - in came Mrs Grant, the Deputy head. She put us over her knee, one at a time and smacked us hard!! My friend Stephen had stitches in his thigh - Mrs Grant didn't know this, and quite frankly wouldn't listen as we tried to tell her. To give her her due, she did look guilty as Stephen screamed as the blood gushed from his leg. None of us 6 were ever hit at that school again - even when Stephen & I (aged 7) went AWOL one lunchtime!! In Cornwall and Devon we were just sat in the corner if we misbehaved :0) maggie, maggie