General Chat

well said Libby!! nice mum in AnE!!! lovely!!;0(((

Spent 3 hours at A & E with my daughter on Monday evening - she had hurt her hand during basket ball in school. One Mother (?) smacked her son because he had been knocked over by a car after school and she had to spend two hours in A & E because of it, AND she had no fags. Says it all . Yes I was smacked as a child -but for the right reasons - such as climbing out of the bedroom window and jumped into the front garden (because I could) and playing on the prefab roof (because it was fun). Both dangerous and knew I shouldn't but hey ho. LOL Loads of others but I deserved it !! These days I see kids getting a smack for no reason and other times I see kids getting away with unacceptable behaviour without a by your leave, such as shoplifting (their little darlings would not do such a thing even though it's on CCTV), to buying drugs at the school gate because the parenrs give them too much money because they have no time or inclination to spend quality/any time with thieir kids. I am not getting at parents who's kids get into trouble with drugs here through no fault of theirs. It's hard being a parent at the best of times but I think some do not put in much effort. Libby x

Helen no diff LENxx

I've just read all the other replies properly and it seems that some people think that a smack is the same thing as being beaten, which I don't.... so this is a wide debate! I disagree completely with beating and think that a smack is a quick shock, not a painful experience. It also seems that some children might be disciplined for a wide variety of misdemeanours..... children are generally horrid ( ha ha) so you can't smack them for everything! I do agree that a lack of discipline and respect, for ourselves and for others, has caused a lot of today's problems, Len. PS are you Len of the Chilterns???

I used to hate being smacked but it wasn't often and I really learned the lesson. I smacked my own three children but only for being rude to others or being mean to each other - and they seem to have grown up lovely kids, or so I am told. In general, if a child learns respect and self-respect it seems to be good, whatever their background.

nudge....For sue!! so with u!

I think Kaye has described my own experiences of being smacked as a child perfectly. I wasn’t smacked indiscriminately, I was slapped on the back of the thigh/bottom as a last resort when several warnings had failed. However, I was never hit anywhere else on the body, and only by my Mum (she always felt that a man’s hand was too heavy for a child). Like Kaye, I can’t remember any specific incidents of smacking, so I’m sure it hasn’t done me any harm, and the smacks were definitely few and far between. As I got older, I was denied privileges rather than being smacked. I desperately wanted to go to a children’s camp one year with my friends but after two warnings, I was cheeky again and that was it, no camp. I do agree with Gerry’s point though – one man’s smack is another man’s abuse. Having worked in a school, I’ve seen a mother hit child hard around the head, which I found totally unacceptable and reported to the Headteacher. I also recently saw a mother kicking her little boy because he was dawdling along the pavement. In my eyes, those two incidents were of abuse, not discipline, but that’s only my opinion and not that of the mothers in question. We have brought our son up in a similar way. When he was younger and misbehaved, he was warned – usually twice – and then he would have a short, sharp slap to the bottom. As he got older, we took away his privileges and that seemed to work. At 18, he assures me that he’s had a lovely childhood, wouldn’t change his parents for anything, and doesn’t think we have abused him or mentally scarred him by giving him a smack on occasions! Mandy :)

I got smacked, occasionally, as a child, but learnt to run instead. Like others, when I was at school, particularly in Scotland, where I started at the age of 5, there were various punishments - the slipper, cane, ruler and tawse ( wide leather strip, with the ends cut, the whole thing folded over for extra pain)- and the hand!! Every term, the class had to line up and receive one of these punishments - just to keep us in line. this had a much more profound effect on me than my parents - at least I could run away from my parents!!!! I remember once, school was closed, heating off, bus didn't turn up. Me and 5 others were shut in a classroom to wait for it. It was freezing, so we started jumping up and down - in came Mrs Grant, the Deputy head. She put us over her knee, one at a time and smacked us hard!! My friend Stephen had stitches in his thigh - Mrs Grant didn't know this, and quite frankly wouldn't listen as we tried to tell her. To give her her due, she did look guilty as Stephen screamed as the blood gushed from his leg. None of us 6 were ever hit at that school again - even when Stephen & I (aged 7) went AWOL one lunchtime!! In Cornwall and Devon we were just sat in the corner if we misbehaved :0) maggie, maggie

We got more than a smack we got the cane and slipper ifr we were caught doing wrong then we knew about it...looking back i hated my parents for that...but now i feel because they did i am a better personxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((((:

Thanks for the pm Mrs P. The other thing about smacking is if you went to a friends house and you done something wrong and got a smack off your friends parent(s) and went home crying and told your mum or dad what you had done, got another smack as well. I was a child of the 60's and if that was done now the parents would probably sue the other parents. Mum use to say to us ' Wait till your father gets in' omg we would beg for mercy!

Hayley by name Hayley by nature!!!LOL!!!!!!!

lol only in secondry school Hayley I was a little rebel tee hee..

H,u got the cain??? it had been banned when we were at junior school.....u must have had it young?!

To be honest you'll be dammed if you do or not ! I was smacked by my mum and would rather have that for a punishment then be nagged at or kept in , Coz if she kept me in she would go for hours and I mean hours.... I was caned at school and given the pump on my bare legs and wept for hours, my mother went mad when she found out. Yes I smacked my eldest son and he never lets me for get it ..as I only used to look at the others and they knew... Great thread by the way Hayley P... We all think we know whats best for our children. We all think our to way to bring them up is the correct way.

The look that said 'wait till u get home' LOL!!!!!!!!!! seems that did the trick for a lot of us!!xxxxxxxxx

Hi , i was smacked as a child some times from my mum and sometimes from my dad but never really hard. usualy my dad would just give me that look and that would be enough for me to shut up. no it was my sister that was always hitting me she was a bully she wouild hit me every opportunity that she got .until one day i retaliated when i was 15 and she was 24 she never hit me again. hazelx

often got a smack from my dad. never did me any harm

as for naughty stair it doesnt work and i wont send to bedroom as punishment cos i dont want them scared of their room so they wont go to bed at night. Added by Yummy Mummy.........so agree!!!! Brenda.PC!! the worlds gone mad!!! Mags...thick ear comes to mind!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think smacking solves anything, I don't smack my children. There are other ways of 'punishing' rather than being physical. Put it this way, if you were smacked in the street for example, by someone else, wouldn't that be classed as assault? I remember when I was a child, being smacked, I even had a packet of biscuits whacked off my head, things like that aren't nice are they?

thank all for your adds...great reading!xxxxxx