General Chat

Aunty dear, I do hope the alarm bells ringing are only the ones attached to the gemstones round your neck :-0

Beware many old properties are hired out for people to use at their convenience. Are you really really sure that the galloping Major is who he claims to be. We visited a loverly house on Sunday called Anglesea Abbey. Now dont forget the Major,if that who he is, is sure to have a female American in the family tree. They are the ones who bought the new money in to secure the old money. Have a look through the tree and find that gal who will have secured the family fortune from the roads or trade ;-)

Cherry dear, im sure that the referal would be done either on the day or once the secretarys got the letter. Keep the home fires burning for I think Aunty may be home again soon. Whats occurring with Pat rish aaaa these days? Is she behaving at the towers ;-) ;-)

Susan dear I did see about Jean, may her pain and suffering be over poor lady :-(

Lesley have camped at paid toil for the last few weeks. Im thinking of pitching the caravan. I can accomodate four of us and stick the awnong up for a few more now theweather is nice :-D

Orff now to fashion a cross stich card for FTEs return.

Teresa

*sees the green eyed monster becoz dear Teresa is clever enough to do cross stitch and I am not*

Oh I do hope the referral was done on the day I was there, as the consulting doctor said he would add me to the list. I want a fully functional and working hip, like wot I used to have.

OH and I went to Anglesey Abbey a couple of years ago. As well as going around in the house we walked around the grounds, did you see the trees with the remarkably twisted and interloping branches? Almost as bad as my family tree on my dear lady Mama's maternal side. Grandmama's second husband was the FIL of Grandmama's (2nd oldest) daughter. This made Mama's new brother in law her stepbrother. Which made her sister her stepsister in law. And my Mama's Mama became her stepmother acos my GrandMama was the wife of Mama's stepfather ..... *bursts into song* I'm my own grandpaw, I'm my own grandpaw ......*

Now, I have also warned dear Petunia that people with money can rent old houses for "appearance's sake". What an excellent point you make that at some point in the past an American lady with money might have married the "lord of the manor". The only downside to that is, this "new money" comes with an appalling mother in law. :-S

Good news dears.

May I introduce my fiance Major James.................................

I am sorry that I could not invite you around for drinks dears, but it happened so suddenly, it took us both by surprise!

My new family have taken to me like ducks to water, except for Colin who looks at me daggers everytime I try to say anything to him.

Brett whispered to me that Colin was a 'mothers boy'. Well aren't all sons?

Look dears, look at my 2ct diamond ring.

#trills# I feel pretty, oh so pretty..........................................


Pip de pip pip
Auntie Petunia

Lordy lordy lordy, Petunia, your news is...... well , I just don't know what to say..

Congratulations to you both.. thinks.. *** here we go again ***...

Best you get that Colin aside and give him what for, mummys boy indeed :-|., Is he a man or a mouse??.

You certainly live an interesting life dear :-D. Mine is rather ho hum, same s..., different day it would seem :-S. Are we to be invited to the wedding?. I shall need some time to save the fare you know.... My OH will want to join me doncha know.

I must say, nothing quite like a wedding to bring people together....... except a funeral :-(. I have been to another today. A neighbour, the second in a fortnight.. A lovely service <3.

I digress, CC, get those bin liners out, quick smart. I do so love a wedding :-).

Can't wait to read what t'others have to say ;-).

By the by, Lesley, your avatar, saucy minx you :-).

~~~~ to Teresa, hope the stitching is coming along nicely. I have a lovely little piece stitched by Auntie Jean (Monmouth). I could never master a needle and thread, though I can sew on a button - just :-D.

Time to check on the chook and chuck a few tatties in the oven,

toodles,

Susan

*running around like a headless chicken*
so many bin liners to turn into wearable creations, and so little time in which to do it.

I must express my apologies Petunia dear for not being here when you announced your Good News, but I have a handwritten note with me (I hand-wrote it myself) to explain.

MFH and MIL went to a funeral yesterday so when he got home I suggested he might wish to cheer himself up with a meal at a Carvery and a glass of lager, and we collected MIL on the way as she also needed cheering up. They were a bit put out - the widow had declared that no one was allowed to photograph the funeral flowers they'd paid for, to have a lasting record of the dear departed's final gifts from family and friends. I thought that was extremely petty. When my Dad and my aunt D were buried I didnt refuse permission for people to photograph the funeral flowers. Funeral flowers are often impressive displays and there should be a lasting record of them.

The widow dumped her husband in a nursing home a couple of years ago because she decided she didnt want to look after him any longer as he was "ailing" and getting weaker, but there was no reason she couldnt look after him at home as he was entitled to home help. This decision caused some reverberations through the late husband's immediate family, I can tell you.

Well on to our Good News of the Day, dear Petunia and Major James. How strange, you do remind me of a certain Major Tom. I'd give you a peck on the cheek Major James but you have too much designer stubble. And I dont want to smudge my lipstick. Yes its a beautiful shade of Flames Of Heaven isnt it. Did you wish to try it??

Congratulations to you both and when is the Happy Occasion to be?

September 31st?

Well I never did, and nor will you Petunia dear.

What a beautiful ring. Do you know, I saw one in Marks & Spencer just like it only a few weeks ago, in their Bling Ring range. It was a Zirconia, shaped like a 2 ct diamond.

Colin will be appeased dear. Just offer him one of the dresses you no longer wear, and a hat to go with it. And a handbag and matching shoes. You have such an extensive wardrobe that you wont miss one dress and the pre requisite accessories. He might also appreciate a brooch to pin on the collar of the dress. Ooooooh "Vicious", or wot .... lol

Speaking of "Vicious" - isnt Derek Jacobi just delightful in the new series of that name. And Frances de la Tour is a hoot, but then she always is.

And so ..... it is time to crack open a bottle of champagne ............ Oh dear, the neck of the bottle has cracked and its fizzing everywhere and the cork flew clean thru the Victorian leaded lights in the window ........

HHHEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP !!!!

oh oh, oh my paws and whiskers. Where did I leave the bin liners. Where are my pinking shears and the gold thread. And the paper clips and the cardboard toilet roll holders and the double sided sticky tape ....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to Susan nz and all our readers. Make the most of me, I am only here until early June :-D :-D

Goodness Cherry are you orfff again. I will miss you and your thoughtful insite into Motie Towers. Do keep in touch by the power of the tintenet :-)

How petty about the flowers. When Ma and Pa departed we took pictures of the flowers and also send the photos to relatives who wanted them.

I like crosstich but cannot knit at all. I did fashion a jumper years ago. It took about six months and when I washed it it shrunk!

Now what is all this about a wedding :-S :-S September 31st you say? Yes I think I can fit that in. Now what to wear, mummmmmm sales are on in July so we should be able to pick somthing up. Mind you if the outfit is not needed it may not be able tobe returned. Decisions decisions.

I havnt seen Lesleys avitar Susan, think its time i changed mine!

Talking of funerals and flowers it will be eight years since my Mum died on Saturday. I will pop down to see how the bulbs are doing.

Toodle pip for now


Teresa.


Aunty there is a very naice wedding frock dress here. Prehaps you should bring the "family" down to look. Lesley and I could sort Colin out for the day


:-D ;-)

#thinks# why is it so dark, I am sure my eyes are open, but it is totally black, and I cannot move either, what the heck.....................................?

Golly gosh, the light is blinding, I need to blink a couple of times for my eyes to adjust to the light.....................however, my hands seem to be on a very cold surface, and my feet seems unable to move....................oooooh, now I am beginning to focus a little. Aaaaah!

Now where am I? Sitting in my own dear little Parlour, with.....................ooooooh, what are you doing here? Is this some kind of inquisition dears?

Cherry you are always here [like the proverbial] but Teresa dear, are you inbetween shifts dear? And the pink hair? Ooooh Lesley, you do look..............erm striking dear. And what is that noise, oh now that is a novelty, Susan speaking via a Blooooooberry. Well dears, what can I do for you all?

I am most delighted you are all here dears, but if I could have my hands freed, and maybe untie my feet? No, not yet? Maybe later then? OK we will see then...........

Yes, I understand that you are worried by the haste in which James and I are to be married......................no, I am not being carried along by it all..........yes, I have thought it through carefully.............no I am not clutching at straws..............yes of course I remember the last debacle with dear Patrick and that woman Juana.......no of course I will not give up Motie Towers, does not Camilla keep her own house too............yes of course I will listen to you all...............I may not take any notice but I will listen.

Whats that dear? Am I sure it is a real diamond? Is there any other kind? Does it cut glass? Why do you have reason to think I am about to become a glazier? Of course I will try it..................................urrrrrrgh, I am pressing very hard, maybe I am holding it at the wrong angle...............urrrrrgh, I am straining here..................oh..........................not there is no mark on the glass at all.............how very odd. Let me take the ring off, and try it again...............whats that dear? The hallmark? I never was very good at that sort of thing, all those lion heads and numbers..................oh..................there is no pictures, just a few words.........erm, pass the pince nez dears, now lets see D-I-A-M-O-N-I-C-K. Does that mean that it is a Cyprus ring dear, does it come from Nicosia. Ah, Nicosia, I remember dear Jean sending messages to our dear boys over there..........................whats that dears? Not a real diamond? Really? Are you sure?

#blusters# I think you are being very unfair dears, I think ..............................whats that dears? What is that you are waving in front of me? It seems like a photograph with text underneath it.................is it some kind of Actors resume? No? Then what is it dears? Something more sinister? really, how sinister?

A.................resume for a dating agency..................what is that dears...............oh............do those kind of things exist? They offer a good time? Well of course people like a good time, a nice cup of tea and a gypsy cream, how good is that? Not that kind of good time? Then what? Oooooooh...................how horrid! What is the name of this agency then gels? StudMuffins Are Us.........................what exactly is..........ooooooh I feel quite faint............

#sharp intake of breathe and head pulls back# By golly those smelling salts are strong dear, is that a new bottle? Jolly powerful!!

And now I suppose you are going to say that James' family is not his own too? Oooooh, how disappointing.........I thought I was to have a ready made family with dear little ones running around......................and Colin?

James is his 'uncle'. Why are you saying it in that way dears, why the inflection in the voice when you say uncle? Oh!!!!!!!

Let me free dears, I feel I want to be on my own now.............I am going to bed.................good night all.


#walks away sobbing gently#

well gels, at least dear Petunia has finally seen the light, even if it was blinding. It was blindingly obvious to us .....

Once again, dear Petunia was almost conned by people who were merely after the money she keeps claiming she does not have. But, we know better, dont we, and therefore we must protect our interests. correction - Protect Petunia's interests. Anyway, if there was any trouble, Colin could always have been paid off with a pretty dress and accessories.

I'll give her half an hour to decomp ..errrrrr. compose herself, then I will take her a tray of tea and freshly baked muffins.

Why are you all cackling? Did I say something ????????? ;-) :-D

The Beatles song "Baby's in Black" comes to mind, for some strange reason .....

oooh tuttttty tut tut and more tuts.

Auntie, it is for the best, its always the best in the long run, and we your loyal pals always know best.

Now go and snaffle a muffin or two and change that dress into somthing more cheerful. The sun was out earlier, the birds are trilling a happy tune and hanging around the patio for some more of Bill Oddies mealworm mix and........................
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I need a loan of the tuk tuk and a Pickfords removal van. FTE is to return next week and although she departed last October with enough baggage to sink a ship so to speak, she apperars to have aquired a lot more :-S
We are to bring the large suitcase, empty of course to fill with stuff. Now FTE is a bit of a magpie and likes bits and bobs. She has mentioned some of the items she has bought around the globe. Ladies is there any spare space at the Towers to store the toot er items?

We also need manpower so the more the merrier. We may even be able to find a naice Gentleman of means for Auntie :-D

Breathing a sigh of relief that Aunty has seen the light


Teresa

Coooeee Cherry dear, i will send some humble pie for Auntie to eat and a cyber necterine for you. Got them orff the market today and they are yummmy

Teresa x

yes indeed Teresa I bet you cannot wait to see FTE again and no doubt she will regale you all with tales of her doings and viewings. Such excitement!!

I think some space might be cleared in the basement for all the extras that your FTE is bringing back with her, but I have already reserved several rooms on the first floor of the West Wing of Motie Towers for my various River and Heeebay purchases so there wont be any space to be found there. Alternatively, you could try the North Wing. I dont like the rooms there very much, they are a tad cold and damp, being closer to the Arctic Circle.

The nectarine went down very well thank you dear, and now look at all the juice stains spattered down the front of my white top. Not wishing to sound ungrateful dear but next time please do send some serviettes down the cyberhatch as well. Or a bib with guttering :-D ;-)

Well I took dear Petunia a tray of tea and muffins, I heard her mumble something about "stud muffins", then the plate and muffins was thrown out of the window onto the gravelled path below. But when I took her the plate of humble pie so kindly provided by yourself, I think she was hungry by then because she ate the lot.

I havent seen much evidence of Pat rish aaaaah the day, but there has been a lot of sniggering coming from that young lady's boudoir ....... :-D

#peers into mirror, and sighs very loudly#

Dear, oh dear, what a silly gel I have been.............so near and yet so far............if only..................what if......................#sobs and blows nose loudly#

Ah well, tomorrow is another day, as dear Scarlett said, and she was probably right............as were you dear gels. The kidnapping was a little crude I thought, but needs must when the devil...............

So............................dear Teresa, your little one is returning to the fold for a period. I do hope she will bring you a kiwi cloack, a Tikki to hang around your neck, a kimono for when you pour tea, and a sari for when you do the shopping. Just clear our your bedroom dear, I am sure she will be able to store her goodies in there.

I must say I did not appreciate the humble pie dears, it was a little burnt around the edges.................as was I!

Now........................................the Old Soldiers have not had the benefit of my company for a few weeks, so tomorrow I will bless them with my wit, good ideas and patronage in the morning.

#Pack up your troubles in the your old kitbag, and smile, smile, SMILE!!!!#

AP

its a long way to Tip our Mary ......... !

#Attention stand by your beds!!!!!!#

Private Mortimer 7654321, standing by my bed, at attention Sarh!

And so it went on.....................what larks we had on Friday and today.

As you know I graciously went to visit the Old Soldiers and Sailors Home, and we played 'soldiers'. We marched, we drilled, we went to the canteen, we went orienteering and we spend last night in a bivvy. There was a separate bivvy for my goodself, but we spent the night under the stars.

I must say I am more than a little stiff today, as are the gentlemen. But such is life and we had such fun, it cheered me, and goodness knows I needed a bit of a boost.

So..............back to the humdrum tomorrow dears, I do hope you all had a jolly weekend, and trust you are all well.

Pip Pip
Auntie Petunia

*staggers into drawing room and collapses on sofa* .....

do excuse me bringing a cheap china mug into the drawing room ladies, but I couldnt wait for the finesse of bone china and silver salvers, I needed a hot drink like ten minutes ago.

I have had to drive myself outside of my Comfort Zone and am still recovering from the harrowing experience. MFH refused to take me to Potters Bar today, because of the wretched motor racing. And I wanted to go. So I took meself. I regret to say I could not resist two Whimsies which were £1 each. I do like a bargain. But where to put them, for the cabinet is full ... decisions decisions.

at least you played Soldiers, Petunia dear, and not doctors and nurses !! You seem more cheerful today, thank goodness. You do meet some rum gentlemen, do you not. Bounders and Cads all of them. Never mind, tomorrow is another day, all is not lost, and there are plenty more fish in the sea. Rest assured that we ladies will scrutinise any gentleman of the opposite gender who wanders across our horizon and ensure he is a suitable companion and/or escort for your good self.

I have some good news to impart. Yesterday the mailman delivered me an envelope from Ernie, containing a cheque for £25. Now, I had just purchased an oak cutlery canteen (empty) from HeeBay, which cost me exactly that amount of money, paid for out of my pension wot I am saving for a minor operation only available privately, and now I can "put that £25 back" ergo the cutlery box has cost me nothing. Those are the best kind of bargains are they not ?? :-D

*slurps hot tea from mug* aaaaah sigh. Oi, be grateful I didnt come in with the brandy bottle. :-D :-D :-P :-P

#creaking of floorboards in hallway#

Cherry dear, Cherry! CHERRY!!!!! Dont try and cock and deaf ear dear, I KNOW you can hear me! Creeping along the corridor like that! I can recognise your footsteps dear. I know Pat-trish-aaaaah when she thunders along, she is like a fairy elephant. I also know dear Mrs Berry. She has metal Blakeys on her shoes, and makes marks on the parquet flooring.

#walks to door, and opens its#

Now Cherry dear.............................................

Aaaaaaargh

.who in the name of all the Saints are you?

WOT WOT WOT ....... what on earth is all that screaming and screeching Petunia dear. Do we have intruders? or Space Invaders? I certainly have Space Invaders on the patio and all over the garden, I have had to spend some of my Cleaning Time boiling kettles to kill marauding ants.

You dont look at all well Petunia dear, it must be the shock. I recommend a cup of camomile tea, and you must rest for a while. Here, I shall put the television on for you. How about a nice Shopping Channel ??? ;-) or the Jeremy Kyle show ....... :-D

Now tell CC - who did you see in the hallway?

It was meeeeee :-D

Auntie did not know me in my all weather sou wester and wellies trying to avoid the May showers. I was looking for a nook or cranny to store the stuff which FTE is bound to bring back to blighty.


Mind you I too saw some geezer who I did not know or was it a gal. One cannot always tell these days with the garments some people wear :-S

Tootling orff to send out a search party for Lesley and Susan



Teresa