General Chat

May Dew??? On the first of April you say Auntie ;-) ;-) ;-)


Teresa

dear Petunia didnt say, Teresa !!!!

twas moi, promoting my new range of Body Beautiful products. The May Dew Look.

Actually I am putting together a shopping list, for Pat rish aaaaaaah. I will be asking her to do some shopping for me.

The items I will require include the following :

crystal glass hammer
three metres of pachyderm trunking
cod pieces
red herrings
Left Handed Screw Driver
Bubble for the Spirit Level
One Large Bucket of Patience
Large box of Assorted Holes

having obtained these items (and more), Pat rish aaaah will then be asked to go to the ironmongers for a Long Weight and a Long Stand.

You might be able to help me with two items - I particularly need a matching pair of fallopian tubes, and a neck tourniquet. :-D ;-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D,

CC, that brandy has gone to your bonce... Would you believe, OH has me going to a particular shop this morning, what sells all manner of bits and bobs. I have to buy six metres of hosing, plastic only. No pachyderm at that emporium.... :-D.

What on earth are you endeavouring to produce???? Fallopian tubes...pmsl :-)

We had another gloriously bright moon last night, can you see it now?. Tis a tad chilly this morning, officially the first day of Autumn... So, Happy Spring ladies :-).

We are orf on a garden ramble tomorrow day, I am dragging OH along ;-). Tis his birthday tomorrow, not his 'day out' of choice but I am sure he will enjoy it ;-).

Did you ladies hear on your news, a man here, was killed by a shark while swimming . A dreadful event, poor man. If I didn't already dislike swimming in the sea, I would now. Give me a warm lagoon any day. RIP..

Tis Friday yet again, my how the week flys by. Three weeks tomorrow til 'the day'. I am wondering if I should be buying myself some rescue remedy?. I may not need it, but if I do and don't have it, oh my. CC, I might need your tantra mat :-D. Deep breaths, in and out, in and out :-\.

Have a lovely weekend ladies and peeps. Hope the sun comes out to play with you all.

toodle pip

hello Susan, yes the shopping list includes a matching pair of fallopian tubes along with the pachyderm trunking and the other items ....... the tubes have to be identical or else they wont match will they.

I will also require a bucket of steam and a box of nail holes.

yes indeed I saw on our news about the man killed by the Great White. I believe there had been earlier reports but the authorities dismissed them?

The brandy hasnt gone to my bonce. I dont have a bonce. I have an elegant head. :-P :-P :-P :-P
lol

where are you all? even Pat rish aaaaah has gone awol. I suppose dear Petunia is poking her no ...... errrrrr ..... orf doing her good works somewhere, but she has been out every day for several days. All I've seen of her is the used tea cups I've returned to the kitchen.

I had a 50p coin that I popped into a cardi pocket then forgot it was there, and the cardi went into the washing machine with the other laundry. I found that 50p, thoroughly laundered and dripping wet when the machine program was finished. Do you suppose I am guilty of money laundering????? :-D ;-)

And I have a bad ankle. I dont know why I have a bad ankle, I didnt twist it or anything and it felt fine when I went to bed Thursday night. I woke up in the early hours of yesterday morning in acute agony and the ankle was swelling. I had to cancel my day's arrangements and hobbled around doing as little as possible because walking on the foot hurt too much. When MFH came home last night, I phoned the doctors surgery to see if they could squeeze me in, and MFH drove me to the surgery, but even the GP didnt know what was wrong. He's put me back on the Ibuprofin for a short term course, although other doctors told me not to take Ibuprofin any more but alternative analgesics have caused horrible side effects, I'm still suffering from aspirin/tramadol damage caused following last years op.

It's not so painful now but still not right, and OH being a trained First Aider has been strapping it up with elasticated bandage. I'm now wondering if a wolf spider got under the bedclothes and bit me, I have a history of severe reactions to insect venom. However I cant check for bite marks, firstly I cant bend down to inspect my ankle, and secondly the swelling is so bad most likely any puncture marks wouldnt be seen ... assuming my theory is correct. But I cant think what else it might be, the doctor said there was no heat there ergo no serious inflammation.

It really is a bit much, when sleeping in dear Petunia's green room leaves me vulnerable to wolf spider bites in the nights. Motie Towers needs another jolly good clean.

Good Evening Ladies.

I have returned to the fold after an exhausting week with my cousin................we visited family some I hadn't seen since I was about 10, not so many years ago ;-) we she shopped until we dropped and talked far to late into the night :-S

I have read back and see there have been more ailments :-( I hope you have all fully recovered.

Susan only 3 weeks for the big day :-D I hope your weather holds for the wedding, the can of good weather you sent CC should arrive in the UK next week :-D

A weekend off Teresa how did you manage that, are the trust getting soft? :-S

good morning Lesley and everyone, the sun is shining here and I hope you are all well :-)

Good afternoon one and all - you should all be nigh nighs as I am typing...

CC, I hope your ankle has stopped hurting by now, the same happened to my Mama Christmas Eve 2011. Went to bed fine, got up on Christmas morn and could barely walk. The powers that be thought she could have strained something turning over during the night :-S....

Hello Lesley, glad you enjoyed your busy week. Nice for you to catch up with the rellies after so long. :-).

Petunia, yohoo, I do hope you are still not unwell?. Do come back soon :-).

~~~~ to Teresa. :-).

OH and I had a lovely day out last Saturday at a Home & Garden tour. he enjoyed it as much as I did. Oh my, some beautiful homes about, one garden in particular really floated my boat.. OH won a spot prize so that was a nice bonus :-). We came home to a lovely meal cooked by the fruit. All in all, a lovely day.

The leaves are starting to turn and fall. I get the pip with leaves that are not mine, we seem to be in the pathway of the wind, bringing with it a myriad of leaves. I picked one up the other day, I have never seen anything like it. I will try and photograph it and put it up as my avatar. Most interesting colourations.

Yes Lesley, we are on the countdown. I have a sister coming to stay tonight. I have put anything 'wedding related' in the spare room and firmly closed the door. Out of bounds to all :-D. She can wait like the rest of the guests ;-).

Ladies, not sure if you peep onto the Welsh thread, but our dear Jean is facing a major operation, all your good vibes most welcome for Jean ( and her OH). <3. Thank you in advance. :-).

I was a bit miffed with myself on Saturday evening, got home from our lovely day out to find I hadn't shut the freezer door properly that morning... Oh dear. Luckily I didn't have too much in there. Third time in a year :-D. then I opened the fridge and a bottle of wine fell and smashed on the floor, I cut my foot and then spent time trying to clean up the mess , wash the floor, deal to my foot and get showered ready for our guests... Lucky there was more than one bottle of wine chilling ;-).. Think I deserved a glass or two after that lot....

Time to get on and think about dinner to feed the visitors. Not sure if we have one or two extra for the night. I will when they get here.. :-S.
Have a lovely day, hope the sun shines on you. I took a photo of the countryside on Saturday, I may pm it to you and show you how dry and brown the countryside is now. We had about three spits of rain yesterday, utterly useless. I heard on the radio today, no significant rain is expected for two weeks. Yep, just in time for the wedding :-P :-P :-P.

Toodle pip

Good Afternoon

CC I must apologise for not posting your parcel it is all ready to go I just keep forgetting to pick it up when I go to the village Post Office :-(

Thank you Susan for mentioning Jean I have read the very sad news.
We (I always got the blame) often didn't shut our freezer properly and still don't but the new fridge freezer plays Green Sleeves if you leave the door open to long great idea wish I could change the tune though.
Here's hoping you have a dry day for the wedding :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~To Petunia and Teresa I hope you are both well <3

Haha, a singing fridge freezer? Never heard of that before...

Tis very quiet on here isn't it. I do hope all our ladies are well??

Off to face another day :-(.

Toodle pip
Susan

Good afternoon ladies I do hope you are all well.

What a difference a day makes................................. I do believe it is two coats colder today:-( back to stoking the fire to keep warm:-|

Lesley x

OK, now I am concerned,

Where the heck are you all?. Not ill I trust?

Lesley, we will have to keep the home fires burning til our wanderers return :-).

I mowed the lawns this afternoon, more dust than grass at the mo, officially in drought :-(.

I am going to record Exile tonight,,starring Jim Broadbent. About a chap with Alzheimers. A condition afflicting a loved one in our family :-(. Have any of you watched it?

Better go, OH home soon and dinner is running late..

Susan

Cooooeeee,

I am here :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D,

The big day is nearly here Susan, you must be so excited, Im glad you had an extra bottle chilling after smashing the other one :-) :-)

FTE once did the very same thing to our freezer one day, It was summer so all was ruined. I would like a singing freezer, the hits of Morrisey and the Rolling Stones would be nice :-)

Lesley it was two coats colder on Tuesday morning -2 and i was busy with scraping off the ice from the car. However It was 6 degrees yesterday morning at the same time so only one coat colder :-S

I do hope you are feeling better Cherry, I do think that Auntie may have got the bug or somthing as its doing the rounds...............or is she organising a supprise for a very special birthday Gal :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D


Off now to do some studying :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\


Teresa

Cherry dear you have forgotton to add to your list. You may need forkcandles ;-)

Dear Ladies, how are you all? Tickety Boo I hope.

I am now germ free and back to fighting form. All those mustard baths and Vick on the soles of my feet seem to have worked. I must disinfect those lace edged hankerchiefs dears, they are standing in the corner of the room, and I am debating whether to wash them, or send them to the Charity shop. Answers on a postcard please................

Thank you for your photos dears. Your cabinet looks lovely Cherry dear. Just think of all that dusting thought. Thank goodness I have Pat-trish-aaaah to tickle around with the feather dusters. All that dust would make me sneeze again. And I have a sore tum from sneezing and coughing.

Susan dear, you must be getting near to fever pitch now that the Wedding is approaching at such a rapid pace. Deep breaths dear, it will be wonderful and the day will fly by and be over in a trice. Lots of photos dear, posed and non-posed. I shall be supporting you in spirit dear..................in my new hat. Preens.

Now, let me tell you the tale of the Old Iron Pot. What a week I have had. You may have noticed that I have not been here to hand out advice and well meaning comments.

As you know I am a Patron of that Botanical Society in Surrey. No? Well I am. I go and judge the orchids there on an annual basis. There is nothing I cannot tell you about aerial roots and budding. You may be aware that these precious blooms need to be kept in moist conditions, and have their own House. It was rather vapid in there dears, and reminded me of when I was a gel in Indian in the monsoon season. Hot and steaming gels. So much so that I had to venture out into the fresh air. I was gently fanning myself when a naice young man in overalls came to ask my opinion on the Tropical House.

Never one to shy away from my responsibilities I walked to the glass house with him. It was only when I was explaining the intricacies of the pollination of the pineapple to him, that I realised he was gawn!!!

I gave one further turn around the conservatory to cast my professional eye over the plants, but when I went to the door it was locked on the outside.

Try as I may, I could not summon help, and the sun on Tuesday was really quite warm. I began to feel a little faint. Afternoon turned to dusk, and still no-one venture near...............

As you can imagine I was feeling a little perturbed now dears, especially as night was falling and it was getting cold. However the old pioneer spirit came to the fore.

As I was a Girl Guide dears, I always keep a pencil, pad, whistle, piece of string, and a sharp knife in my bag. However, there was no phone. I remember putting it on to charge dears, but did not pick it up before I left................

I cut down some leaves from the banana tree dears, and made a bivouac, and settled down for the night. My goodness the things I started to remember when I was locked in there. I remembered that the steam would distill the water for me to drink, and of course there would be enough fresh fruit to last me a few days.

And so dear readers, I spent 3 days locked in that blasted greenhouse, eating fruit and smelling like a tramp. I was not aware that the place was only inspected every fourth day!!!!!

However, I am now nicely clean and smelling like a baby after its bath. I am only a little surprised that Cherry did not send out the search parties sooner. I am rather miffed. Tutty tut.

I trust the east wind is not too cold for you Teresa and Lesley. It is always a little chillier on that side of the British Isles. Tis going to be colder next week, may I suggest a three coat day, with hat, scarf and gloves.

Take care dears, do not work too hard.

Auntie Petunia

Our singing fridge freezer has saved us a fortune in defrosted food.................. but I ask why a tune like Green Sleeves :-(

Susan I hate those tinder dry conditions, I am surrounded by fields and have seen many a field-fire it is soooooooooooooo scary, I hope you get a sprinkling of rain soon just enough to lay the dust.

Teresa you must give me a clue when the special Gals birthday is then I can bake a special cyber birthday cake........................will a Victoria sponge with fresh cream and strawberries be acceptable?

Oh Auntie Petunia how lovely to see you have returned safely after yet another awful ordeal, what was that young man thinking of :-S how rude of him to ignore you and your expert knowledge on the pollination of a pineapple

My answer on a postcard should be with you in the morning ;-)

Now do you think we should organise another search party for CC :-S if the weather is changing for the worse I would like to think she is somewhere safe and warm................Petunia have you checked your attic? Just a thought.

Petunia, what a fright you gave me, missing in action and lo, here you are. So nice to have you back. Your tarot cards must be duds, did you not see yourself locked away in a glass house??
I hope all that fruit did not upset your tummy :-D.. I am very pleased to know you are freshly bathed ;-).

Now we are only missing CC... She isn't in the attic is she?? Cooeeee, CC

Lesley, no significant rain is forecast at the moment... Today we had ready lawn put down. I could not delay it any longer if I wanted to be tidied up by the wedding... I shall have to be very strict with watering the new lawn. I must say the 'green' is quite a change from dusty brown.

Things are not at fever pitch yet Petunia. I do intend buying a little rescue remedy to use for fruit and I... Fruit has a few things left to finish off, I feel I shall be on her case until they are done. I refuse to be doing bits at the last minute.

psst, Lesley, March 16th ;-) ;-). don't let on it was me that let the cat out of the bag will you.

My OH is going to be home late and I am starving already... I will leave you and go forage for something to tide me over til dinnner time - whenever that will be.

Susan

good afternoon everyone, my ankle is better now thank you Susan. I hope your foot is all right now? Next time, take more water with it !! ;-) Seriously, you were very lucky not to end up with a serious gash.

Rest assured I have not been trapped in dear Petunia's attic, dear ladies, just dealing with one problem after the other.

Tomorrow is The Day isnt it? May the sun shine on the beautiful bride and her beautiful mother :-)

*

Lesley dont worry, it is very kind of you to say I can have the items, and just mail them at your convenience. A musical freezer eh? Actually I love the tune Greensleeves, performed either by James Last or the Gunther Kamen choir. Its supposed to have been written by King Henry VIII for Anne Boleyn, during the days when she kept spurning him, saying "the King's wife I cannot be, and the King's mistress I will never be".

I have one at home who has not closed the freezer door on two occasions. And it wasnt me. We lost a lot of food, each time. His trouble is, he doesnt pay attention to anything he does because all he wants to do is slump in front of the TV, so whatever he does is a rush job. And I am forever picking up the pieces .....

*

Teresa I dont know about four candles but I ought to send Pat rish aaaah orf for a chocolate tea pot as well as some chocolate tea bags, I would just love a cup of chocolate tea. :-D :-D

thank goodness you are back, Petunia dear, we were all quaite concerned. I hope you are well?

I dont think I was remiss in not organising a search party. The fact is, I assumed you were away doing one or more of your Good Works and had decided to sleep out for the duration.

At least you didnt go hungry during your inadvertent incarceration, with all that tropical fruit available, and I hope the young man who locked you in was suitably chastised. Have you tried my new product? May Dew? Would you like the May Dew look?

Now I must be away - I have a wedding to prepare for. Do let me know what you think of my newest Binbag Creation, it is a most amazing dress dont you think? Not another one like it in the world. And when I have finished with the hat, I shall auction it on eBay. Its amazing what one can create from old toilet roll holders and pieces of string. ;-D

horrah, we are all safe and gathered in gals, awaiting from near and far for the nuptuals :-D

What a terrible ordeal for you Auntie, i do hope your digestive system wasnt over taxed so to speak ;-) ;-) ;-) Im so glad you were a girl guide Auntie. I was a Girl Guide and also joined after that the Yong Farmers. The stories i could tell!!!!!!?????

Did I hear of three coat weather again!!! What joy, the pitch may be too hard for the younger fruits to play on at the weekend :-D :-D :-D :-D

Ooooh Lesley the cyber cake sounds very nice thankyou. My age is going down by two years at a time, I shall be 40 somthing :-S Its a good job FTE is away, last time a birthday in the next deccade came along she made very large posters and attached them to the outside of the house for all the world to see, how common, tutttty tut.

I will tootle orff now to asemble the evening food. FTY is hungry all the time now. Im chained to the Kitchen day and night :-| I feel a very extended visit from Mrs Bury to this end of the A12 may be in order.

Yours huffing and puffing to the Kitchen and tutting like a tutting person


Teresa