General Chat

" Im trying Anncardiff :-D :-D"

But Annincardiff was totally innocent of the alledged crime which she was on trial for at the Old Bailey and Judge Cooper had to go and hide her blushes behind the

bicycle shed.

Meanwhile, Eldrick, who had found an old A-Z in a rubish bin in a lay-by near the railway track, was once more bound for his ancestoral home.

(not to be confused with the Sally Army lass who, after reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey', took up bondage as she thought that she was bound for glory)

Only two miles further and he would be there.

with tears in his eyes

as his onions were giving him gyp.

Now there was only half a mile to go and Eldrick knew, positively, that he would make it without any further delays or deviations (his mind was still on 'Fifty Shades of Grey')

And there on the green green grass of home would be wating

as he hummed the tune of the green green grass of home while looking into the distance,who does he see but,OMG NO .yes it was big bertha knickers flapping in the wind,clutching that book,oh i have so much to teach you she squealed,oh god save me he thought,the next day he was good for no one and looked half dead please------

He needed a good pick-me-up,but what would do the trick,
maybe Nanny had something in her

cupboard, found it she cried his favourite Bag pipes , this will take his mind off things & as she handed them to him Eldrick said

"you are not Nanny, you are an imposter. Where is my Nanny and who are you?"

Nanny turned and said

I,m Annof Cardiff Boyo Whats you,re B problem? lost your neeps? they do things like that at the Vets all the time so stop moaning ,get yourself an Icecream Van (Like The Popemobile) and get selling to the

General public,as they come to open day at Thirdegree Burns,or as it is now named " Dun Roaming",But our hero still hasn't found out who are his parents so he called in

The Local Witches to dance around the cauldron which contained all sorts of things (Including ancient and rotted neeps) to shout Hubble and Bubble so that

They can create Toil and Trouble ..
Poor Eldrick had come to the

end of senses and wits. This was too too much and the thin end of the wedge, what he really really wanted was a

a good woman who would help him sort out

all the clutter that had accumulated in his ancestoral home. This had been mostly been the possessions of the procession fo his female tormentors such as Big Bertha's bloomers and the unused ash trays of Fag Ash Lil.

This would surely raise enough money to enable him to hire a geanealogis who could sort out his family while he settled into his new home with the lovelyt

Fair Maiden , they could sell all the old tat on Ebay he would probably
get a fortune for Big Berth's bloomers
Then he would

raise his children, neeps allowing, in a manner that would honour his ancestors and be a credit

To all his relatives & the children , (if his neeps had worked )
he sighed & said

Get David Dickenson in here, he of the orange glow and golden jewlery, its never been the same since that other silly old duffer took over his prime time luchtime spot on the BBC.

David will solve all my problems. He will be able to flog the ancient relics and toot which lies in this house for a large sum, and hopefully a small commission, with that