General Chat

Chris obviously some deletions because page 6 is now page 5 lol

Dermot I am sure there are many many good mothers, often I don't think people realise quite how good some people are until they either hear of worse ones or miss them. My OH's mother is an absolute diamond but her children as much as they love her don't always realise how much of a diamond she is.

Well we are closer to the date and mother dear phoned me yesterday

Not long now she said
No said me looking forwar to it just hoping that I am walking by then,
why what's up she said

"scratches head" did I not tell her that I had twisted my ankle
says it's my ankle still I can't do much on it


Then the shock
is it that bad
yes Mum it's agony at times but getting there
well you can sit round the pool with me.

Ahhh b*m nooooo ..but she was so nice about what else I said that I am wondering if it was my mother I was talking to. She didn't even create up because of baggage allowance (being on cruises she isn't used to that)

Maybe I will survive is she stays like this
:-)

fingers crossed. Make sure you look after that ankle.

Regards

Vera :-)

Hmm. Leopards and spots springs to mind. I can't believe that she had forgotten about your ankle. I know that you are sensible enough not to believe that pigs have actually achieved flight but take care.

Jill

Vera I will keep my fingers crossed but I fear Jillian is right about leopards and spots :O

Mind you I now have a sneaky suspicion that mother dear is going to cancel at the last minute as she phoned yesterday for the phone number of the hotel No hello how are you just the hotel number (and she moaned because it was taking me so long to find it !....Now why phone me to get it I do not know but I am sure her brain has some logical reason

I hope that she does cancel. I guess that you are no use to her if you can't walk, carry her bag, run her errands.

Did you ever read Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca? Perhaps your mother is more the Mrs Van Hopper kind of travelling companion.

Maybe she will go on one of her cruises- and some kind soul will shove her overboard.

Stay strong lovely lady.

Jill

Jillian i have read Rebecca a powerful book ,,would I have thought of mother dear whilst reading it ..definate not my reading alway was my escape, but I am now going to have to re-read for the giggle Thanks.

Well it's just over a week now before she arrives and I'm resigned to the fact that I can't run anywhere :D she may have to slow down to my pace ! At least with a baggage restriction she can't bring any "bought" goodies from her many trips that were cheap ....so far I have had clothes from 10 to 20, all at the same time, a pair of platform trainers size 7 (I'm a 4/5) when platforms were not in fashion let alone for the 40+ yr old publican that I was. I won't get aged old pot pouri that has died in it's own scent, or t'shirts blazoned from Sri Lanka and the likes which I will never wear (as she knows) and I know that they are 3/4 yr old.
I think that I am about to get a gold coloured watch instead ....bless her I haven't worn a watch for 7yrs, funnily enough the last watch I had Mother dear had bought me it was a good old wind up on a leather strap. The strap broke and the watch needs attention, but I loved that watch. Still mother dear asked do you wear gold yet...ha ha she remembered that then ..I can't wear tight gold in heat. Still I told her yes at times ..hoping for earings that I take out at night. ...Mother said so you can wear a gold watch ?

mmmm yes I do hope it's not the gilded gauky thing I refused a few years ago because I can't wear battery watches, that's serious they stop on me!

But anyway Mother dear is due in 10 days time ...
My headache is due in 9 days
My breakdown is due in 15days time
My court case will be after 21 days
;-)


Do you want to know the really silly or sad bit ..I'm actually looking forward to seeing her and seeing if she's changed !

Do you know what I am looking forward to Uzzi...........your posts after she has left!! LOL

Are you going to show her your thread?.......just before she gets in the taxi to the airport!

Annx

Now that Ann would be amusing :D but no I will not show her this thread ...shame on me ... but I do love her ...mantra.
There will be no need to wait until after she has gone :S :S :S :S :S :S :S :S :S :S
Believe me I shall be here screaming asking to be tied down long before she has left lol

But yes I will update this if she arrives and when she leaves.

I think I am about to panic ...mother dear is now talking about moving out here ,,,I have to wait for her phone call ,,,,,,,but she did say that she is now selling up by xmas in the Isle of wight and moving out to me ,,she's going to phone me back .

I effing hate it when she does that to to me ..phones me says she will phone back and puts the phone down !

I am now in bits about it all

Oh no!...........dont panic probably a whim of the moment........just in case have you thought of emigrating to Australia!

ann aus is too big an island for me :D Maybe I ought to explain how Mother dear ended on the IOW from High Wycombe,

I informed her that I was thinking of moving there as there was a pub I wanted, we would have had the grounds for the greyhounds etc ...next I knew Mother dear had a house in Bembridge and lived there ...I moved to East Anglia a place called Fridaybridge ,,,Ahhh welll

Sorry, I can't read all through this thread at one go.

As I am sure you all know, I go on about it enough, I had a dreadful experience with my own mother and I really cannot pretend any degree of affection for her or to have missed her in any way since her death fifteen years ago. I just wish she had died forty years earlier.

For the benefit of anybody who might benefit from it, I will resurrect the narcissistim thread.

Sharron I am sure some will benefit from your thread, so thankyou for bringing it back ..Mothers are difficult and I feel for you

Hi Sharron. If you've read this thread you will no doubt have read my contribution except that for me it was the male parent aka TOG - The Old Git, or as Rob refers to him TOC and I'll leave that to the imagination.

He finally did the world a favour and b*ggered off August last year and not one person has said that they miss him. No one has even grieved for him.

I'm beginning to heal very, very slowly and I don't believe that I can ever heal completely because the parents had such an effect on my life and the knock-on effect on hubby and the kids.

Maybe about three years ago, someone on another forum that I'm a part of read my story of what had happened and was happening in my life. She's a clever lass. She is some sort of Ologist. Not only can she read and spell big words but she understands what they mean. She told me that I was exhibiting all the signs of an abuse victim. That was enlightening to me and also on her suggestion I began to look at 'conditions'. I found Narcissitic and also Paranoid Personality Disorder and Sadistic Personality Disorder (not all agree that SPD exists). Mostly what I learned was that TOG was a classic abuser and I was in no way to blame for anything and everything he had trained me to believe about myself was classic part of the abuse. I've always had such a very bad opinion of myself because he, and also my mother eventually never let me believe that there was anything good about me.

Part of the healing process is to understand that I am not a dreadful person after all and just maybe my existence isn't offensive. He found fault with my voice, how I laughed, how I looked and everything in between.

I've always had to try to give the impression of being cleverer and more intelligent than I am so that they don't see the real me. Now I don't care if someone realises I'm thick or stupid. If I've been asked questions or for my opinion on something I reply that I know nothing about anything. It's liberating.

My confidence is slowly starting to grow as I deal with crappy stuff like him drumming into me that I was such a dreadful person that no one could bare to be in my company or hear my voice.

I don't feel any affection for my parents either. Hubby had wonderful parents and I adored them. They offered me unconditional love which was something I'd never experienced ever.

You are most definately not alone so stay strong and know that there are people who totally understand you.

xxJill

Thank you Jill.

I do feel I was let down a little by the medical profession. I always had a lot of preaching and tranquilizers. They must have noticed she was bloody mad!

Even now,having carried out a lot of my own research,presented him with a copy of the article, explained what I had discovered about the physical effects of stress and what I was doing to help myself,being as I knew better than any body what I was dealing with, he told me to walk round the local estate every day! It is like Beirut round there. I don't want to walk round there.It would just cause more stress trying to motivate myself.

Anyway,through examining and dealing with my problems as I see them,I have finally stopped the flashbacks almost entirely and my appetite is considerably less strange and that takes some accommodating I can tell you.

Why does society always believe that parents are perfect and children liars?

"Why does society always believe that parents are perfect and children liars?"

That is the saddest thing I have read. All your pain is in that one question.

Sue x

Don't start me Sue.

People just did not want to hear. I tried to talk to other members of the family who did not want to be involved and it was very hard to articulate anyway.

I watched my neighbour's daughter psychologically abusing her son while the rest of the family didn't want to believe it or get involved. I just did not know what to do about it.

If you haven't been there you can't believe it happens.

A few times when trying to tell people about my own mother's behaviour I heard the phrase " Your poor mum."

I'm sorry Sharron. Did I give you the impression that I didn't believe you? Of course I can't even begin to imagine what you went through because I haven't been there. But I do believe that dreadful things go on behind closed doors and I do believe that without doubt children have not been listened to and believed.

Just the other day I heard a woman say to her son "if you want to visit Poppy and Nanny so much you can go and live there. We'll go home now and pack your bag and off you go. I didn't want a little boy anyway".

Sue x

No Sue, you didn't give me the impression you disbelieved me at all.

I was just trying to illustrate the situation.