General Chat

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Diane xx

Thank you for your replies

I have only been in contact with my BS for a few weeks there is another full sister who was adopted in the family and my two sisters were brought up as cousins. I was adopted at a few months old and I had a very happy childhood.
There are also at least five more half brothers/sisters on my mothers side and its thought at least ten half brothers/sisters on my fathers side (he was married when he was with my B/M)
I would like to get in contact with my other full sister as well but the sister I speak to is not very forthcomming with any details.
All this as well as a family who dont really understand why I feel the need to find out about my past and I think are a bit hurt thinking I want to find a whole new family which I dont I just want to find out about where I came from.
So I'm sat on the computer when everyone is in bed feeling like I have a guilty secret! It shouldnt be secret and I shouldnt feel guilty but I do.
Sorry for rambling on and not making very much sense but it feels a little better just writing it down!

Hi Diane, Blueeyes and Jane.

How are you ? only just seen this thread has been revived, such sad news about Joans passing she will be greatly missed........
Nice to see we have a couple of newcomers here as well :o) Welcome Angelsong and Jeanette .
Jeanette do not be so hard on yourself , there is no need to feel guilty about wanting to find your birth family, it is a shame that your family are not so supportive, but maybe they do not realize how important this is too you.
The point of this thread is to help other adoptees or birth family members talk to others who have been through all this to offer help and support to each other, a thing a lot of family members with the best will in the world will not quite understand-.
There have been several threads to this end over the years, there are a lot of various emotions these searches throw. up we can just tell you there is nothing unusual about how you feel :O)
Give your new found sisters time and maybe they will divulge more info to you later, Rome was not built in a day.
Angelsong you cannot worry about the future, hopefully you have now traced your Birth Mother and have some answers to your questions you wanted, if the time ever comes you need a shoulder to cry on we are here for you.
Have you tried to see if you can find your Birth Father ?

Hi Diane,Jane, Jeanette,Angelsong,and anyone else who I've missed,

I was surprised to see my name pop up in a post on 26th Jan. (Australia Day) 2010, I had forgotten all about it.I hope that you all can be successful in your quests to find your BM;if it's never going to happen then hopefully you will be able to come to terms with that,and accept it.I can't really imagine how much strength and inner courage that it would take to meet up with a parent that you have never met before- I admire you all very much.

I'm sorry,Diane,that I didn't get back on this thread after your lovely comment to me-I didn't intend to be a (temporary) thread-killer,lol!

Take care, everyone.

Best wishes, Margot xx

Nudge :O)

Hello all

Jeanette hun all you can do is follow your heart on these matter's but as I have done be prepared for door's to shut and other's to open, if your adopted family can't understand why you have to do this then it is because they are not in your situation and they haven't any idea what it is like to be you. We on here are in the same situation so we know why you need to know, but I myself wouldn't keep it secret you may find that if you explain to them why you need to go on this journey they may not be happy about it but maybe they will understand why you have to do it. Good luck with your searches and just take it one step at a time and give yourself a break every now and then to unwind from the emotional moment's you are bound to come across. As for rambling on that is why this thread is here so you can say how you are feeling even when it doesn't seem to make sence :-) you can put it on here if it help's you feel better <3.

Hi Sheila,
good to see you again hun, yes it was sad to see about Joan's passing I didn't know her but from what I have read about her she seemed to have helped a lot of peep's on here and was thought very highly of.
Hope you are well and life is good, speak to you soon take care <3 :-)

Hi Margot, no worry's hun glad to see you around again, hope all is well with you and your's :-) <3

Life is a merry-go-round at the moment for me :-( came on here to reply to post only, will check back again soon when I can love to you all and take care

Diane xxxx

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for anyone who want's to post :-)

Diane xx

I thought I would let you know what I did for my cousin's wife in 2009 after my aunt passed away
My cousin's wife asked me to find her birth family which I did with in 2 weeks after she gave me her adoption info she is now in touch with a sister and 3 brothers who never knew about her and they see each other and talk to each other and they keep saying thank you to me but all I did was get them back together though her B M passed away about 2yrs before I found the half sibblings

Hi Val
you must have felt great happiness to have been able to help your cousin's wife find her half sibling's, I know if I had been them I too would be thanking you all the time :-) . It is people like yourself who help us that make's thing's possible for those who are searching for family. Sad that her mother had died 2yrs earlier, but having contact with the half sibling's is still a great find.

I found my half sister but for whatever her reason's she suddenly chose not to continue the contact, I am still trying to find my elder half brother but this is more difficult as he live's in Australia, I do have quite a bit of information about him and the last thing I tried was to send a e-mail to the Australian Navy via their site for Navel member's but as of yet I have not had a reply :-( . My BM is still alive but I am reluctant to make the contact even though I have her address and phone number.

Take care

Diane

nudged for Val

I sent you a P M I hope u do give it a shot as life is to short to worry about what If's or what might have been got to stand up and take a chance

Hi Val
got your pm hun, I'm too much of a coward, there is so much stress going on in my life at the moment I can't bring myself to do it for fear of rejection and emotionally I couldn't cope. It is and has alway's been the biggest fear I have had through my journey, she has already refused contact 3 time's via Social Servises and after what my half sister said I am to frightened to take it further.
Thank's for your advise hun it is much appreciateted and under different circumstances would probably be the right thing to do

Take care

Diane xx

Well if she has refused 3 times it is her loss at least you did try through Social Services but maybe a personal letter straight from you leaving the door open is worth a try but I understand though I never went through this my self but I couldn't give my kids up for anyone

Hi Val
me neither but when my BM had me there wasn't the same support as there is today, she was a married woman with a 3yr old son to her husband, and my dad was married with 3 children and another on the way who was due 2 month's before me. She didn't only have to give me up as once her husband knew I wasn't his child ( I'm guessing this part ) told her to leave. So once I was born she went to stay with a friend for 6 week's until my dad and his wife picked me up and took me home and adopted me. She stayed in touch with my adopted mum for about 3 years by letter's ( these letter's I actually have ) when I was about 18 month's old she re-married and then when I was about 3 years old she had my half sister, The son that she had to her first husband also contacted her and asked if she was interested in contact with him which she declined ( this is according to my half sister ) who for what ever reason decided after some month's of contact with me via GR sent me a very harsh letter and told me this.

Diane x

n for Val to read

Diane x

Hi all who read this thread

Just a quick post as it is quite late and I am tired,
I have finally found my HB in Australia and also just found out that my BM died of lung cancer yesterday 2nd Nov.
Those who remember my older post will know that I held back on ringing or writing to BM for fear of causing her upset, now it is to late :-(
I haven't yet heard if HB want's a contact with me as I'm waiting for his niece to let me know. He is on FB and I now know what he look's like and a lot more about him, he was in the UK last week for 3days and is to return here next year, so if he does contact me then when he come's back next year I may get to meet him ( here's hoping ) will let you know how thing's turn out about contact with him as soon as I know.

Diane x

Hello Diane,

I do so hope things turn out ok with you and HB,

Susan

<3

Hello Susan

thank you for your wishes, I have had a long conversation tonight with his other HS and we have swapped information and I'm now waiting to see if he agree's for me to contact him.
Will keep you up to date when I know any more

Take care

Diane x

Hi Diane,

Sorry to hear your sad news, sending you hugs. Will keep my fingers crossed for you that you hear something positive back from your HB soon x

Hi Sheila

thank you hun, took me a couple of day's for it all to sink in about both pieces of new's, HB hasn't yet been in touch with his niece who I have a contact with so still don't know if he want's contact or not.
I have also found a picture of my HS via a website that her workplace has on the internet, as I know her profession and it is a busness that is advertised on the net I decided to look in the area were she live's and as luck would have it I found her on the firm's web site under ( our staff team ) so I was able to copy and save the picture of her and save it to a file. So I now have picture's of both my HB and HS and if nothing else at least I now know what they both look like.
If I do have any luck with HB I will post about it on here, so watch this space ( finger's crossed )

Take care hun, speak to you again soon

Diane xx