General Chat

Sorry to hear that Paul,that would have been very heart breaking,

We have a lovely ad on TV. A child and his mother in a supermarket, he wants something, she says no, he throws a tantrum, so she then throws something on the floor and throws herself down too and starts kicking and screaming. The look on the childs face is priceless. It certainly shuts him up and she walks out serenely with him. Perhaps frazzled mothers could try it!

Dont ask me what the ad is trying to sell, though.

Huia.

Tory

Working in a school Ive seen the affects of ADHD & (Possible not diagnosed at present) Autism.

My 18 year old nephew has asbergers.

I agree explaining the world to some of these children is not easy. In the case of the possible autistic not diagnosed child, a six year old who wont give you eye contact, things have to be taught over and over again before it becomes, not as much an understanding but a repetitive part of school life. (such as lining up with the others after lunch or standing in the lunch que) he has to be reminded every day that he has to do what the other children must do, as he doesnt understand why he cant do what he wants.

Hes now slowly remembering to do each task, of course with encouragement, reminding and praise.

I had a child with learning dificulties.....was murder taking him out.....one set of peeps said I was too strict...the other said I pampered him.....no matter what I did....everyone had an opinion on how I should bring him up, and I was never right.....ignored the lot of them and did the best I could.....

Going shopping without him was out of the question....part of his affliction was to say everything that came to mind, which wasn't very nice sometimes.......I would have dearly loved to have walked out and left him to it just so's to calm myself down.....outwardly I was calm.......Inwardly I was cringing at the embarrasment and unable to stop the words he said....

Even calmly speaking to him about the unpleasantness of what he was saying would start him off with words like.....'but it is true', and go further into why he had said what he did, making matters worse.......so sometimes it was best to say nothing........I wish he had siblings who were able to take over in moments of stress.

Susan
x

I will admit to doing that myself Huia but not in a supermarket ,It was a home and yes there face is a picture :-)))

{{{HUGS}}} for you Paul and your wife.

I also know a few childless couples who would also make smashing parents, as Im sure you both would have.

remember, even though they were not born, you were their parents, even though it was for a short time. No one can take that away xx

MH I do understand what your saying but not all with Autisum are able to cope with the things you say and they don't have to be servirly afected either .My strain to comply with the wishes of the school and public left me with a child who wanted to end it all and another who I have had to remove from school so as a parent who loves my children I will not insist that my children do things that cause them distress they comply at there own choice and thats how we live and if that is only way I can keep my daughter alive and happy I will do so .Please remember that all people are individuales and do not repond in the same way to the same tactics :-)

working in a shop I see all sorts of behaviour from all sorts of kids. Some are really polite and want to have a conversation with you about things like Thomas the tank engine etc..lol
But some are just so naughty. Yes some children do have problems but the ones that are most annoying are the ones that are misbehaving whilst their mothers are too busy arranging their social life on their mobiles.....
I have 3 children and 3 grand children and only once did mine ever misbehave whilst shopping. We had a new sainsbury open near us so thought we would try it out. My eldest one couldnt get her way and threw herself on the floor. Think I just grabbed her and dragged her out of the shop as I dont put up with that. I wonder if it was because it was a new shop and she didnt like the strange surroundings.

I appreciate what your saying Tory

Autism is a wide spectrum and of course every child should be treated on their own merit.

I'm sorry if my post appears to say different to you. I'm just talking of my own experiences, they dont have to be right for everyone.

Id also like to add the child who is in my class has come along leaps and bounds in the year he has been in school. The school has helped him cope with school life quite a bit (he gets one to one a lot as well)

As you say, everyone is different & its working for him, but it doesnt mean it will work for others

same as in all things in life really.:o))

I'm afraid my opnion of schools is not very good MH to be honest, as the ones I have dealt with and the problems that I have helped other people deal with from differant areas are that schools in general fail our children misriably and so if you say that the child you refir to is doing well and that you liase with parents and they are happy with what you are doing then thats fine.I just ask people to keep an open mind thats all :-))

I used to think people like that should control their children better until I did a course for some volunteer work I was about to do. Maybe the child had problems etc Hard to tell I know, but I can also see where you were coming from.

This thread started off as a rant against badly behaved children and its turned into a discussion about autism Why??

Thats all I ask for Ruth is an open mind :-))
I'm sorry I have to go now but thank you all for the debate .:-))

Pablo,

Probably because we are trying to explain that not all may be as it seems when judging children's behaviour.

Susan
:-)

Paul I supose because so many people are afected by it and because the behavior of those with the condition is called into question all day everyday .Those that have it do not look any differant then others and so as parents of these children we come accross people that scowl and moan about how our children behave in public without knowing us .I really do have to go now so thanks for the debate :-))

So I have to take into account that when some child who is misbehaving and causing mayhem all around them he or she may be ill and not just attention seeking

Ill is not the word I would use but yes please do not be so quick to judge :-)))))

HI Paul
kids are kids and most toddlers grow out of tantums and turn into polite well behaved
children
ps not all but most
Jenxx

I answered your post going by the behaviour of the people you were describing. I cannot judge unless I was there, and even so would not like to assume the worst of the parent unless I had full knowledge of the circumstances.

A thought also crossed my mind that perhaps she wasn't the Mother or they were not siblings. How would we know?

I can understand your annoyance but please don't be so quick to judge and spare a thought for those who are judged and have to deal with the consequences.

Susan
:-)

I sympathise a bit with pablo - How many of us have been in a similar position possibly under differenct circumstances and without giving it much thought, except "I wish she would keep those little brats under control, they're giving me a headache"... And that's just my OH and me, with our own kids... lol John