General Chat

I totally agree with you ....
BUT I "controlled" my son in a shop for peeing all over the carpets in a shop !!! he was 9.....and got reported to the police and aressted for
Neglect and abuse of a minor in my care 1951 act .....

I grabbed him by the shoulders and marched him out the shop ...put him in the car and locked it going back to tell the manager what had happened .........

It went to court and was thrown out ....the judge said all evidence had been lost !!!!!!!

so as you say controll them .......BUT DO TELL ME HOW ?

exactly Kemp, how .xx Edited as I posted it twice sorry it was me that deleted

Dont delete ....I have no guilt over what he did .....yes he is special needs .....

Thats OK tory.

Shirley,
That is what I am talking about I understand that a lot of children have problems such as autism and other problems and I applaud the parents of these children who have to try and cope with thier children I have a lot or respect for you and your families, it can not be easy.
Relaxed & Liberal parenting where "healthy" children get away with everything and anything is one of the main problems in this country at the moment.

Paul:-(((

paul yes i do concede that there are some parents out there with a very relaxed atitude to parenting that causes a lot of problems and these need dealing with. my argument is that without all the facts which you can't get on one encounter none of us should judge the other

Hi Pablo, I agree this is probably the problem with this country at the moment but I think what the other peeps are trying to say is how can you tell the difference between a 'normal' child and a child with learning difficulties when they are seen misbehaving and that people like you should not be so quick to judge unless you know the facts:). I would like to point out that I am not a smacker, well hardly ever, I can count on one hand the number of times and my older children are polite and kind, always have been to others not always to each other though. lol. xx

People like me!!!
What do you mean??

I think we have two issues here, one where the child's behavior is their fault and the other when the child has a medical condition which affects their behavior.,

As said before, unless the parent speaks up at the time of the tantrum, no one would be any the wiser to why the child is kicking off.
Its also not fair to expect the parent to have to tell anyone why as its no one else's business :o))

I do agree though, that sometimes parents of kids with no underlying condition, let them behave badly (ive seen this after school)

I've seen pre schoolers climb a 10 ft high storage container which has a type of ladder attached ( full of sports equipment) in the playground whilst their parents watch whilst talking. Ive also seen kids kicking the hell out of the same container...again with parents watching.

That's when you get parents with little sense of discipline to pass onto the kids.

I do think, even though a child may have some kind of learning disability, you have to show them what the right thing to do is.
Because one day they will be grown up and have to cope themselves with everyday life.

It depends though on how severe their condition is at the start.

It's so easy for us with "normal" healthy children to look at others & wonder why they are letting their offspring run riot.

I used to say that food additives causing a child's bad behaviour until I saw the effects for myself. One ice lolly & the child was off the ceiling!

Autism has to be experienced to before you realise just how difficult it is for the parents to cope.

Ever seen a medicated ADHD child who has forgotten to take their tablets? Believe me you would soon know that something is wrong.

For us lucky parents with our "normal" kids, life's not so easy as it used to be. Smack & we are in the wrong ignore bad behaviour, & we are wrong again!

Pablo please look again I put a smiley face after it so you would know I wasn't having a pop at you, I meant 'you' as in people who don't have experience of children or people who do have well behaved children. Sorry if I hurt you it was not my intention. shirley.xx

sorry shirley didnt read it properly
Whoops
Paul:-(

One great thing about becoming a mother is it sure brings you down a peg or too LOL.
next time pablo try smiling at the offending mother and offering some assistance ,wether the child has something wrong with it or not.
a simple understanding" its hard when they do this isnt it" is such a relief when you are knackered ,you dont know what to do next and you think the whole world is judging you.
I often talk to babies or distract toddlers and just offer a friendly face when I am shopping because thats what i would like to be done to me in that situation.

Thats ok Paul, glad we sorted it. xx

PS Also quick note for later when you have kids,dont take preschoolers to the shops when they are knackered as they are uniformly hideous LOL

Tania,
That wont happen no chance of us having rugrats.
Married 26 years and OH seven miscarriages in first 4 yrs of marriage. RAf Doctors did not have a clue wish she was registered at civi doctor then there might have been some hope.

paul:-(

For those who are not aware ADHD is part of the autistic spectrum as for the severity of a condition with something like Autisum just having the condition at all means that the persons understanding and concept of a situation is differant so explaining the world and how to behave is not easy.

I'm sorry to hear that Paul xx

Paul I am sorry to hear that as was told at 17 I would never either ,but was one of the lucky ones and had 3 .So I understand a little .:-)

How awful for you and your wife to go through that 7 times. xx

Thanks Muffy and all for your thoughts

not only that when we applied to foster/adopt lacal councils opinion we couldnt becaus of the following:
1. Serving Members of HM forces did not offer stable enough home life.
2. I smoke and am overweight and therefore would not be a good role model!!

What a joke!!
was and am in stable relationship, in gainful employment (never been on benefits since leaving school always had a job)