Genealogy Chat

dear Gerry At the risk of sounding like 'psycho-babble' I would think that having your life turned upside-down at aged five would be very traumatic, (particularly if your christian name was changed) I was taken from my mother and father(not her husband - but they had been together all my life)at aged two. So both my parents and my three older half-sibs and baby sister and grandfather, all disappeared into the blue, as far as I was concerned. My christian name was changed too. My adoptive parents were very good, but there are 'scars'. I hoard things, and cannot bear goodbyes to things or people. Maybe cutting your feelings off was your way of coping. Have you read Pat Baskills adoption site. One of the things she says is that the adopted child is in a sense 'in mourning' for its past life. Yet even a very small child realises that it is supposed to be very happy and that the people it is now with are very happy, and it has made them happy, so it can't let itself be sad. That rings some bells with me, and maybe with others too. As I said, sorry for the psycho-babble. Eileen

Hi all Just had an update re my court adoption papers from my social worker.The update was that..........there is no update!! Yesterday i managed to contact my half sisters daughter,and asked if she could pass my number on. I didn't reveal too much but she did know my name before the contact. Today i had a call from my half sister,basically telling me the whole family knew about me and the circumstances surrounding my adoption,but i have no right to know how or why the arrangements were made. Although she acknowledges that the troubles caused by our mother getting pregnant were not my fault,she does not see it is a plausible situation to talk about it with me,only the family should ever know! Now call it strange but both her husbands,and the partners of my two half brothers knew about me well before i knew of them,'but the information concerning my conception,birth and adoption is personal information they can't reveal'(her words quoted). So can someone tell me how MY birth is not personal to me,but is to her second husband?He thinks i am sick for looking into my birth family and should be slapped with a court order. As if to ask me to ring back she thought that i would ring 1471 and get her phone number after the call,but then asked i don't ring her,she will ring me.(why not with hold the number then! easy really. I'll let her have a while to ponder things over and see what develops. Glen

dear Glen - people are just so bizzare - even if you might not have been particularly interested to start with, this scenario is enough to make anyone absolutely determined to get the info out of them all. As for wanting to stop you via a court order - how ignorant are these people! Adopt the manner of a terrier dog, and just worry them to rags. lots of hugs for all your problems going back over the business of the certificates to prove who you were for your job. Eileen

can i just nudge this up, chapter 3 has been nudged and we'll get in a pickle - that isnt just an adoptee thing either! Jess x

Hi John, Glad to see that you had a positive result from your letter :o) Julie, You are spot on with your comments, his step dad raised him, and has always been there for him, he should never doubt for a second in all but name that he is 'His Father'. Eileen, How is your dog?, we have an Old English Sheepdog ourselves, and its like a member of our family, so I know how worried you must be, fingers crossed for a full recovery for it. I agree with you my counsellor whilst very nice, did not do a lot for me, she can empathise, but she has not been through it, so can still remain detached, unlike other members on here, who can relate directly to you. Out here no sites in Australia which you can post messages on? Maybe Ann or Mel can advise you on this matter. Gerrry Your not strange at all each of us our individuals and only we can decide if we wish to pursue this search. I would not have considered it when I was younger, but things sometimes happen in life to change our perspective and make us curious about our backgrounds or even our medical history. You can only do what is right for you. Glen, Don't let the (idiots) grind you down ;O) put your half sisters hubby re-action down to dumb ingnorance, I mean would you really want to go for a pint with someone like this ;O) it's very easy to take a high and moral stance like he has, when he knows his background. On the positive side, your in touch with your neices :O) Any luck on the job front still got my fingers crossed for you! Once again apologies to anyone waiting for a reply to an e-mail still catching up with them after the hols, and the problems with my computer. Take care all ! Sheila

Hi all Sheila/Eileen I read what Sheila wrote and thought I would try and find a site were Eileen could leave a message for her sister.....so yesterday I start around lunchtime and 4 hrs later do u think i could find anything aussie ....no all american. It was very frustration trying to find a message board thats Australian. I still havent found one... But i will keep on trying. Its also hard when you find other Adoption stories and stop to read them...These American sites tell people stories of reunions and are hard to pass. If anyone else know's of a site please let us know, because my butt cant take much more.lol Only joking will still try. Have a good weekend all Annxx

Hi All, Sorry Sheila and Eileen I have checked also for a website and there is none I can find, all I can suggest is that there is a womens magazine that has a little section in it for searching for people. I can look into that for you Eileen if you would like me to. On a subject change I am sorry that I have changed my name again some people may think impatient sounds a little ....... So sorry Ann I don't really have that much imagination, and I am not a from I'm an in. LOL Seeya melisa

Oh Glen what a sad , yet suilly situation. how on earth can circunstances surrounding your birth not concern you? they may not want to rake over old caols and re-live the story , but they are a bit foolish talking about things like court orders! Nerds! Keep on keeping on Chap! Jess x

Sad birthday for me today, dog died this a.m. Family all brilliant, girls made lovely supper, and boys dug deep hole. Dog will be buried surrounded by pansys that in the language of flowers are for 'thoughts' and rosemary which is for 'remembrance' Night night, Ginger boxer, gone to Sodor where you will find your sister Daisy, and all the other boxers we have had over the last 50 years. Eileen

Sad birthday for me today - lost my lovely boxer dog this a.m. Lots of you will know what its like. She rests with 'pansys thats for thoughts' and 'rosemary for remembrance' eileen

come and see us on chapter 5!

Nudged for rosie...and there are 3 more if you want them!

n

nudge Caz