General Chat

'meself and Elizabeth still have feelings for one another, so we have'....Liz demanded that Jim get his unkempt hair cut and his bank balance up before he comes anywhere near her bed.

You have nothing to worry your pretty little bleached head about ,he said, I have found out that my great granpappy has left me a big house and farm lands, so we are set up sure we are,you dont think I am going to help you run a farm, Liz sceamed,as only Liz can,the folk in the bar fell about laughing at the thought of her in wellies,she hit him with a ...

bag of pork scratchings but being thick he never felt a thing. Think about it Liz, you'll be able to give up the pub and live in Ireland with all that fresh air and Guinness. Not my cup of tea said Liz and anyway, I really love Vernon. Catch yourself on said Jim, how could anyone love a loser like that FGS!! At this point Steve walked in and on hearing his father had come into money decided to try and persuade his mother to rethink - he could then have the pub for himself and Michelle as well as Amy, Ryan and Alex!!
Everything came to a sudden halt though when Sally smacked Clare in the chops for dissing her and her house - before you could say hot-pot, the Rovers was in chaos - like a scene from a John Wayne film. Calm it down said Ashley, ever th4e peacemaker, but he was felled by a left hook from Jim who was by now getting into his stride. Clare became hysterical at the sight of all that blood and

promptly whipped Jim with a wet bar towel.

Ow- cried Jim that stung and a nasty little cut & bruise appeared on his cheek (face!)

Clare apologised profusly like she does every time she does something wrong.
Fizz ran through the front door , Quick come outside there's a...

Big american car in the street, everyone rushed outside just as it pulled up outside chesneys house and out got Cilla, and a rather dishy looking guy, mam Ches shouted, what are you doing here, I have come to see my baby,and show you your new daddy what yelled Fizz, you are still married to Les who has gone missing...

without even a mention from Blanch or Norris! yep, Les was last seen by a few thousand viewers arguing and wallowing in self pity while sharing his house with Sinetta! Her Toy Boy, he certainly was not!

Les who asked Cilla - your husband said Fizz - oh him!!! I divorced him in Reno the week before last. I am now Mrs Cilla Browne-Vanderbilt-Hilton.

YES..........HILTON!...........you know!! them what own otels over world,,,,,,,,mmmm me 'n' Paris are bezzie mates you know..... Cilla boasted her way through 5 gin and tonics when

when her new man opened his mouth to speak everyone could not believe how silly his voice was, of course Blanche just piped up why does he sound like a girl she said,because he used to be one Cilla replied and then she realised what she said!! but he/she is going to have the op,soon, thats gross Ches cried and shot off to

tell Kirk what was going on but as usual Kirk was in his own little world - which was very small indeed. No way did Ches wish to be called Chesney Battersby-Brown-Vanderbilt-Hilton. Meanwhile back at the Rovers, Vernon had just turned up after his cruise debut and was tucking into a large jar of pickled onions and Lloyd was beginning to wonder if he really was a Dad!! He couldn't remember anything about it if he was. Blanche was just getting into the new bath at the Barlows house and

just as she was settling down for a good old soak she heard as commotion in the street - not wishing to miss anything she dashed into the bedroom, dripping as she went, to see an ambulance pull up outside the Rovers. She decided to give up on the bath and got dressed toute suite. Not that she was nosey by any means but she had to know what was going on. Dan was being brought out of the Rovers on a stretcher!!! Norris was standing nearby having a nosey, unaware that he was the cause of it all if only he knew it. The little toad was edging over to see what had happened when

Rita shouted to him, come here I want a word with you, why havent you owned up that it was you who scratched the car, Norris spluttered how did you find out he asked,never you mind,if you dont tell them I will she replied, Norris wen at shade of white, not knowing he had been caught on his own security camera,alright he said..

I cannot tell a lie, it was I that scratched the car!
Fizz overheard the remark and immediately passed it on to the girls at the factory, before long the whole street was buzzing with the news.

Norris was a criminal and a liar aswell.

Eventually news filtered to Steve in the pub. 'What!' he said pulling a weird face,' I dont beleive it!' (in his best Victor Meldrew impersonation). He suddenly felt guilty for hitting Dan over the head with a bar stool but was unsure what to do about Norris when