General Chat

- she was pregnant with triplets by John!!! shock, horror - Sally was sorta "Much Ado about Nothing" but Kevin said "quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn" as he put more Factor 30 on his hairy legs - Weatherfield was far from his mind and he was rather hoping to get an audition for Neighbours, thinking he could play the part of a

[great minds think alike eh Chris!]

beached wulrus (I might be losing the plot here) wheres Ray Langton when you need him? said....

beach bum - well after all, hadn't Madge [ is it Madge] turned up in Emmerdale? Meanwhile back on Coronation Street it has just been discovered that Steve's daughter Amy is unable to walk - she has to be carried everywhere and passed from person to person - big savings on shoes here by the way - Violet is out of hospital, still pregnant and Dev ha\s recovered enough to return to the minimart. Blanche on the other hand has

has lost her voice but can still

get everyones attention by hitting the table with an empty beer tankard or if she is ignored hits the persons concerned with a rolling pin then she

slopes off to the betting shop to put a fiver on the nag of the day. Deirdre is less than impressed with her mother's carryings on and decided it's time she got a

social worker in to assess her mother's sanity with a view to either a) have her committed or if that fails b) shove her in a Care Home 200 - 300 miles away

......personality transplant.....high-tech operation at Weatherfield hospital......she can choose from....

sex change, face lift or euthanasia - Ken thinks it's a bit harsh though and would prefer

to see her married off to a native of the South Pacific - who wishes to return home with his new bride but Deidre says

the old bird wouldn't be up for it but she wouldn't mind that for herself, after all, Ken is rather boring at the best of times and she could do with a change - she decided there and then to

thats my mother and you cant do that she deserves better with

exchange him for the local hunk...

book herself a months cruise - leaving her mother to Ken - hoping that upon her return it will be to find that Ken's patience has snapped and he is in prison and Blanche has gone to the happy hunting ground - however there is good news for Deidre Ken's prison is quite close to the women's prison where Tracy

is incarcerated. However, Ken will proably get off with a good solicitor cos how he never murdered the old bag years ago is a miracle. Also a petition is on the go to free Ken, like the one for Deirdre all those years ago. Ashley has decided that if Ken get's off, Clare's chances ain't looking too good - behind those oversized glasses of hers there lurks a bunny boiler and she's been getting on his t..s lately and the sausage making machine at the shop is quite effective. He sets his plans in motion and

THIS POROGRAMME HAS BEEN HALTED DUE TO A TECHNICAL HITCH CAUSED BY ATMOSPHERIC WEATHER CONDITIONS - SNOW - WE WILL THEREFORE PLAY SOME MORE INCESSANT REPETITIVE MUSIC TO THOROUGHLY ANNOY YOU UNTIL SERVICE CAN BE RESUMED

draws up plans for a Banger Festival on Easter Monday - he schemes to lure his wife to the shop on Good Friday with special spices for the sausages he will be making and the last anyone sees of her is as she

parks little Freedie's buggy outside the butchers shop and pops inside for a

pound of sausages - two hours later Ashley shuts the shop and pushes Freddie home only to find that