General Chat

Hi Lorr, Just read your thread. Sorry that you have been feeling so low. I through myself into GC last year when I was feeling really down. Fine now. Well done for opening up, it must have taken alot of courage. Keep your chin up. Email me if you like. Jill xx

Hi lorr Pleased to see you are feeling a bit better today - it is wonderful to know you have so many friends out here isn't it? don't let the age thing bother you, but allow yourself time to grieve for your parents, it can take several years to get back to normal. We can offer all sorts of suggestions but it will only be you who can fight your way through this. i am sure the first step is asking for help, as you have done, and talking to friends, which you have also done. And as everyone on here is so supportive i am sure the only way for you is up. take care, and i love to get e mails from people so please feel free to contact me any time. (I'm one of the 'oldies' as i will be 64 this year. Love ann glos

Thank you Dawn things are a bit better.....it looks as though poor Daphne needs our thoughts now! x x x

Lorr, thank you for your e mail. as I said ,pleased things are better for you. ann Glos

Hi Lorr, I bet yesterdays weather perked you up a little, it was gorgeous in Chichester! Take care Andy

Hi Andy - it was a joy to see and I hope everyone else is fine? Please take care all! luv Lorr x x x

Hi Lorraine and everyone else. I feel that I have to give you a little bit of help Lorraine you said that you feel that you have made a mess of the last 35 years, don’t live in the past. We all have regrets about things we should have done. We can do nothing to change what has happened, mistakes we have made. But we can learn from them, make the next 35 years full of memories, look forward and do the things you want. You have to start somewhere and make that today or tomorrow, some little thing that you have been putting of, do it feel good about it. I know that every where you look you see mountains, everything you want is at the top of one of those mountains, and you just don’t have the energy, find the smallest one and you will see how easy it can be to get to the top. When you have done it move on to the next, you will soon find those mountains become hills, and then you have a few mole hills to contend with. You are probably saying to your self, who the hell are you what do you know, its not that easy. I know its not, I am having the biggest fight of my life at the moment to beat what you are going through, it has destroyed me for the last 15 years (tears are now rolling down my face) IT WILL NOT BEAT ME, I am winning, since I started doing family history I have met a fantastic person ( who I know will read this ) we chat and have a laugh but they are there if I need someone to talk to. Don’t be fooled by how someone acts or looks, you are not the only one. Take me I’m nearly 6 foot tall built like a brick outhouse (nearly put something else there), would give the impression that I could deal with anything. How hard do you think its going to be for me to walk into that pub in Winchester in a few weeks time and meet you all after writing this. This is the first time that I have ever put anything down on paper about how I feel, this really has to go down to my friend who has given me the strength to send this. Lorraine push your self, it will be hard, but you will make it, you will never be alone with the fantastic people on here. I’m looking forward to having a drink with you, and the rest in Winchester. That was so hard to do. Malcolm

Malcolm you make me feel humble....You see even in your time of trouble you have thought of someone else you are truly a remarkable person - DID YOU KNOW THAT? IF EVER you need to talk, as with anyone else, please do so..... With all the wonderful replies I've had I MUST find my way through... IF we all meet in Winchester I know that no-one will judge us for being HUMAN! Please take care of yourself - I think you're so brave to have written down your feelings, it's somehow much harder for men to do in this society. Luv Lorraine x x x

Thanks Lorraine Yes that was very hard for me to do. I’m fine, it took me a long time to admit to myself something was wrong. That is the hardest step to make. This thread that you started is a wonderful chance for you to make it, we are all behind you. ( you had better not let us down ). I won’t go into details of what happened to me, other than to say I was a policeman in London, and just another day on duty turned into a day that I will never forget. I know that some off my fellow officers, and also fireman who attended have taken their own lives, me, I hid away for years but the memories still get you. The way to win is not to look back, push forward, and start to believe in yourself, if its sunny and you feel down go out, go for a walk, do something but no more shutting your self away. It doesn’t help just makes you feel you’ve wasted another day. May be you feel like I used to the everyone is looking at you, watching you, you feel that you are going slower than everyone else, your not, anyway how do you know they are not thinking the same. How many of them have a problem. You can be in a crowded room and still feel very alone. ( none of us will be alone in Winchester ). Take care Malcolm

hi lorraine im glad to see you are feeling happier!!!,and malcolm what a brave man to write how you have felt, you dont see that to often a man showing his feelings.best wishes to you both and everybody else xxxx tracy

Tracy Thank you for your reply Malcolm - I'm going to E-mail you x x x

Malcolm - thank you for sharing this with everyone, you have also taken the first step,which must have been quite scary for you - thank you:o) Lorr - you say that Malcolm has been truly remarkable in corresponding with people in need of help and understaning,when he is in the same situation - but l have seen your name on many threads wishing people well,sending your condolences etc - you are as remarkable and made a truely great step in putting this thread on the boards. Good luck to you both:o) Love Jude xx

Thank you Jude - humbled again by a kind soul! x x x

Dear God Ray, I marvel that you have kept your sanity. All of you who have opened up their hearts on this thread. can you see that you already have taken the first steps to healing yourselves. No one need ever be alone, just call out, someone will hear I promise. love toall terri xx

Hi Lorr, I often feel alone, I suffer from depression, have done on & off since the birth of my daughter 5 years ago. I can go for long periods feeling ok, then something willl worry me & that has the snowball affect.... Something tiny grows into something bigger. Two months ago I had got so low that I was crying every day, every ache & pain I had was cancer, or my children whould have a sniffle & would have something totally incurable. I recognised the symptoms & went to see my doctor who put me back onto Prozac. ( have been on it for a short time in the past & came off it easily & felt much better ) Been on it a few months now & feel so much more in control, Im able to think in a more rational way, I'm positive in a few months I will slowly come off the tablets. It is good to talk about it. a problem shared is a problem halved, you WILL see the light at the end of that tunnel. Age certainly has it's part. My mum died when she was 38 years old. I am 38 in may & finding it really hard, ( not getting older, but imagining my mum at my age ) Take care Elaine x

Elaine I know how you feel I have suffered from depression after being attacked. If it wasnt for my friends I dontknow where I would have been. Iv been ok now for nearly 2 years but u learn to recognise the symptoms and stop thing before it gets too bad. All of you take care and look after yourselves...Love and Hugs Rach...xxx

Ray You have nt upset me at all What happened is in the past and that is where it will stay Hope you are ok...Keep smiling... Love Rach...xx

RAY I have E-mailed you x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Hi to Elaine, Rach,Wendy, Di and all Thanks once again to everyone who have added their personal stories. It's great that for some reason, like me , you felt able to say what was on your mind. I think it's good to talk and it seems people sometimes just want to do that? Letting off steam, just saying that THING........... OUT LOUD! and getting it off your chest! Well before I start rambling I'll say cheerio for now - take care luv Lorr x x x

Hi Ray, You haven't upset me at all, I have read your message with tears in my eyes. There is always someone out there who has had it harder than yourself, reading some of the messages on this thread, has done me good as It has made me put things into perspective. Yes, I did lose my mum when I was 14, and my stepmum suddenly 3 years ago from emphysemia. I'm also terrified I will lose my dad who has angina. But I have got friends who have lost babies & children, who were too special for this life. They have fared much worse than me...yet still stay strong. Don't be angry with God, as they say only the good die young, thats why i'll live to be 100 ! Big Hugs Ray, Elaine xxx

This is a wonderful thread - Di what a lovely idea to keep it going!!! So many of you have suffered and taken the courage to talk about it - thank you:o) Jude x