General Chat

Angel, I don't send my overseas Christmas cards until December!!! :-) Joy

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ? She gave him the cold shoulder ! What do snowmen wear on their heads ? Ice caps ! What do snowmen eat for lunch ? Icebergers ! Where do snowmen go to dance ? Snowballs !

Little Song that my son used to sing when he was a wee boy! 'Hes the little boy that Santa Claus forgot And Goodness Knows he didnt want a lot He wrote a little letter for some soldiers and a drum And broke his little heart, when Santa didnt come I feel so sorry for that laddie Who hasnt got a Daddy Hes the little boy that Santa Claus forgot' Ahhhhhhh!! (Think we can keep this thread going til The Big Day Jacquie?) ;o)))

This week Webbs Garden centre at Wychebold near droitwich had Christmas cards and crackers for sale and were putting up their Christmas display. They always have a big display. I have started making my cards and have been buying small presents throughout the year. The larger family ones will be left until November, have a holiday to come first. Ann Glos

is it okay to put jokes, Jacquie? :-) Joy

Anna.... Christmas Dinner's will probably be all booked up by October!!! lol Ann, how I miss that...the garden centres all full of Christmas stuff.....oh me!!! Joy....only if they are as good as mine..... What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

Is there a prize for the first person to spot a chrissy dec? cause we just got over 'Christmas in July' out here and Christmas stuff is already around!!!

I bet the first lights up will be here in Grenada!!! What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Looks like just you and me then Yvonne!!!! What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh? Santa Claus caught in a revolving door. Jacquie xxxx

I am in the process of making the christmas cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does any one else do this???????????Helenx

Knock Knock Who's there ? Wenceslas Wenceslas who ? Wenceslas train home ? Knock Knock Who's there ? Donut Donut who ? Donut open till Christmas !

favourite christmas carol.has to be saviours day by the man himself.sir cliff richardxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((:

''Fruitcake Recipe 1 cup water 1 cup of sugar 4 large eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice nuts 1 gallon whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the h***likes fruitcake anyway? ''

My Christmas likes - Prezzies Singing along to carols on the radio when no-one else is at home (I can't sing in tune, so I do it when no-one can hear) Prezzies A 20lb turkey with home-made chestnut & bacon stuffing & cranberry sauce Fairy lights Prezzies Robins Snow (fat chance these days) Prezzies Decorating the trees Crackers Prezzies Chocolates galore and days on end to eat them Unusual Christmas cards Prezzies My Christmas pud, which consists of 50% dried fruit and 50% brandy Jeff's shortbread & mint whirls (my son's a mean cook!) Prezzies Alcohol galore and not having to drive because we always spend Christmas at home It's virtually the only time when they show a full-length classical ballet on TV My Christmas dislikes - Bing Crosby singing 'White Christmas' Anybody singing 'Mary's Boy Child' Not having snow to build a snowman Kids ringing the doorbell and wailing 'We wish you a merry Christmas' 3 times and 'A Happy New Year' once, and they expect you to pay them for this. Cutting holly from the garden to decorate the house - I always get it stuck in my fingers. Crackers with rubbish jokes inside them Buying mistletoe and, when you get it home, all the berries fall off Spilling turkey gravy on the best tablecloth (Someone always does!) The local Town Council's habit of wasting public money by hiring a van and a 'Santa Claus' to tour the streets, playing loud Christmas tunes and with SC yelling 'HO, HO, HO, MER-RY CHRISTMAS. It scares me to death everytime it passes the house! All the extra washing up because everyone does nothing but eat all day. Having to pay full whack+ for stuff in the shops that you know will cost far less in the January sales. Having to start dieting the day after Boxing Day, then having to start again on 2nd January.

Favourite Christmas Flower: Christmas Bells (a native Aussie plant, member of the Liliaceae family) Flowers in November - December around Sydney and a larger variety along the coast. Bell-like flowers are clustered on a stiff stem, from deep red to orange in colour outside and yellow inside with yellow tips. Several varieties exist. Apparently also cultivated in the UK. Has anyone seen it?

CB...Thanks for list...probably agree with most of that...except White Christmas...always reminds me of my Dad, well Bing Crosby really. He was my Dad's favourite! Mind you he also liked my MJQ LP of Porgy and Bess...and the Animals were OK with him! lol Which all reminds me of Him and his presents....he would never open them until he had guessed what was inside..used to drive us mad!! So we always tried to disguise it in some way....until he had to open it!!! Jacquie xxxxx

When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas. I believe, I believe!!!!! Jacquie xxxx

'Twas The (Politically Correct) Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to 'Elves'. 'Vertically Challenged' they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called 'Unenlightened.' And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... 'May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.'

We didn't have Santa for my kids! Now, before you accuse us of depriving our kids........... we did have presents but my husband said that no fictious man in a red suit was going to get thanked for providing them!!!! So the kids had presents under the tree and stockings on the end of their beds. I only gave up filling all their stockings last year - three are now married and the eldest is 31! LOL

Yvonne....we've definitely got to swap trees!!! lol We were the same....the big main pressies were from Mum and Dad and the silly bit and pieces in the stocking were from Santa!! I only stopped doing a stocking for my 2 when I came here...one was living with her boyfriend (now married) and I gave him the stocking to put at the bottom of the bed!!! Now the two girls do it for each other....28 and 31!!! Jacquie xxxxx